ljwentworth32 Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 (edited) what are you're guy's thoughts on this. got a first date with a girl coming up. we planned on activity, drinks, etc already... probably plan to spend a few hours and then go to my friends b-day. One of my friends, is also having a birthday gettogether at a bar nearby (group of guys and girls, some of them are married). So my friend tells me to bring her by afterwards to hang out. But I told him I disagreed and that I have some reservation about this. am I wrong or what are you're views? does this seem like too much too soon? too much pressure for the girl? or is my friend right and this is a good idea on a first date? Edited January 9, 2020 by ljwentworth32
hercules22 Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 i think its a bad idea she may not like to see you again seems way to soon to introduce her to anyone as you always got think will i see this person again . i would only introduce to friends if you been on alot dates together alone . just focus on the date go separate ways then you go meet up with your friends yourself
Daisydooks Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 Bad idea on the first date. Totally awkward. Focus on her alone first. Introduce to friends later, once you've met her. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 It's sweet that your friends were open to this but it will be horribly awkward on the woman. Don't put her in that position. She barely knows you. It's mean to throw her into the middle of your friends. Have a short 1st date with her. Then you go to the birthday parties. Assuming things work out, she can go to their parties next year. 1
Author ljwentworth32 Posted January 11, 2020 Author Posted January 11, 2020 On 1/9/2020 at 2:50 AM, hercules22 said: i think its a bad idea she may not like to see you again seems way to soon to introduce her to anyone as you always got think will i see this person again . i would only introduce to friends if you been on alot dates together alone . just focus on the date go separate ways then you go meet up with your friends yourself ok thank you. all of you guys, that was my gut hunch exactly. I think my friend is totally wrong. A first date I felt is to get to know one another one on one. not do group things. 2
SumGuy Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 (edited) It can be too much too soon, but if the date is going really, really, really well I'd bring invite her. Otherwise not. If id invite her I'd admit to her it seems a bit fast but could be fun, no pressure. You could even bring it up in that I'd love to continue the evening but promised my friend would go to his b-day party tonight. Also be aware she may have safety concerns so make sure she gets the address can contact her friends to let her know, etc. be open if she wants to invite a friend. In my 20s going to a party on the spur of the moment was common so not necessarily odd, now in my 50s yes very odd. Now the question I'd have, is why did you schedule a date on the night of your friends party? Is it you made the date first? Edited January 11, 2020 by SumGuy 2
Saracena Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 2 hours ago, SumGuy said: Now the question I'd have, is why did you schedule a date on the night of your friends party? Is it you made the date first? Exactly what I was thinking. I think it all depends on her and how the date went as well. She may well be someone who would be happy to go along. However, do remember normally it would be considered far too early to be meeting friends, especially if she is shy. I was introduced to friends on a second date by my SO and although it was nice in one sense (I could tell he was proud to show me off!!) I felt a bit awkward when entering the venue when I could see them all looking at me! The fact they were all really nice to me though helped a lot and I was quite relaxed about it in the end.
Miss Spider Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 It wouldn’t be a big deal to me. It happens. My friends know I date people. We don’t have to be getting married to hang out with each other’s friends
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 Granted, this is a f***ing terrible idea OP, but the one up is that you will present your social value to her through your friends... I mean, its something, but the second your friends find out this is your first date, theyre gonna act differently for sure.
OatsAndHall Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, SumGuy said: It can be too much too soon, but if the date is going really, really, really well I'd bring invite her. Otherwise not. If id invite her I'd admit to her it seems a bit fast but could be fun, no pressure. You could even bring it up in that I'd love to continue the evening but promised my friend would go to his b-day party tonight. Also be aware she may have safety concerns so make sure she gets the address can contact her friends to let her know, etc. be open if she wants to invite a friend. In my 20s going to a party on the spur of the moment was common so not necessarily odd, now in my 50s yes very odd. Now the question I'd have, is why did you schedule a date on the night of your friends party? Is it you made the date first? This is how I would approach it. Politely invite her with if the date is REALLY clicking along well. And, I do mean REALLY well; like you're getting the vibe that she doesn't want the night to end. "Hey, this has been a lot of fun. I have a friend's birthday party to attend now. You're more than welcome to join me if you'd like. I understand if it'd be a bit awkward for you." On the flip side of the coin, the party gives you an easy out if the date is going badly. "Well, look at the time, I need to get to my friend's house. Take care." Edited January 11, 2020 by OatsAndHall
Noproblem Posted January 13, 2020 Posted January 13, 2020 Do not introduce her too soon to your friends and don't even tell her that you are going to see them after seeing her, she'll form the idea that your friends will always be more important than her.. So don't tell her anything about what you'll do later unless she insists.
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