OLD match says can't meet for a couple weeks. Should I call her out and invite her anyway?

[max3732]

When I asked this woman I've been chatting with if she wanted to meet up at a restaurant we'd been discussing she said her parents are in town so she can't meet in person for a few weeks until they leave. What do I do now? Just keep chatting on the app or call her out and say that even if her parents are visiting she should be able to meet a quick place like coffee or ice cream?

Usually people that aren't interested will just disappear when I ask them to meet up. What do you make of this?

[d0nnivain]

Since you has told you she is unavailable, calling her out -- as in challenging her statement to you -- seems pretty pushy.   I'd put her on the back burner.  Don't invest too much time but do touch base about once per week or respond if she reaches out to you.  Meanwhile explore other options with other people.  In a few weeks after the parents leave you can ask for a date / meet then.  If she says no, lose her number. 

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, max3732 said:

When I asked this woman I've been chatting with if she wanted to meet up at a restaurant we'd been discussing she said her parents are in town so she can't meet in person for a few weeks until they leave. What do I do now? Just keep chatting on the app or call her out and say that even if her parents are visiting she should be able to meet a quick place like coffee or ice cream?

No, there is no need to get confrontational about this. You are over-stepping by determining what she "should" do. Not your call. If she is indeed being honest that she is busy with her folks, you will shoot yourself right in the foot by taking this abrasive approach. 

Keep in touch with her, but keep your options open at the same time. Don't limit yourself to this one woman yet.  Revisit the idea of meeting in a few weeks once her parents have left and see if she is interested. 

 

[lurker74]

"Cool...I understand family obligations. Why don't you reach out to me when you can if you feel like meeting up. In the meantime, enjoy your time with your parents."

Then back burner. If she puts in effort, fine. But otherwise, move on. I have a rule...

 

I will pursue a woman. But I will not chase.

[rjc149]

With OLD, you have NO IDEA what's really going on with the girl. She could be on the rebound looking for a fling to bandage the wound. She could be in a fight with her boyfriend or trying to get even with him somehow. She could be looking to line up his replacement. She could just need the self-esteem boost of dozens of online admirers. 

And frankly, she's a complete stranger so it's none of your business what her deal is. Take OLD, and the women you meet there, with a grain of salt and a ton of good-natured detachment.

"Ah no worries, let me know when your schedule clears up."

And THAT'S IT. Keep casting your net. 90% of women you meet online aren't LTR material anyways, if that's what you're looking for. Don't take it seriously. 

[max3732]

You are all definitely right. I just get annoyed wasting time with endless messages when someone lives nearby when it would be so much better meeting face to face.

I'll send something like the messages above and see what happens. I'm definitely still messaging a lot of women and have a few conversations going, but they take a while to respond.

[basil67]

Max, short of an actively dying family member, I wouldn't bother with someone who couldn't make space for me within a couple of weeks.  And I don't believe she couldn't go out for a couple of hours while her parents are visiting over a period of weeks.    That's just nuts.  

And no, don't call her out.  It's a waste of energy on your part.  Just unmatch her.

[Foxhall]

shes probably a bit further down the road with some other dater, on the third date or something,

you could keep it open I suppose check in again in a few weeks, if her other option has not worked out,

 

move on though seems your best play.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Yeah, just let her make the next move. When she is ready, after her family has departed, she will contact you provided she was(is) interested at all.

[max3732]

39 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said:

Yeah, just let her make the next move. When she is ready, after her family has departed, she will contact you provided she was(is) interested at all.

Done. 

When I first signed up with OLD I used to get heavily invested in ever woman I thought looked like a good match. Now I just like to send a few matches, try to meet up and see if it goes anywhere and not invest too much in these conversations.

[Trail Blazer]

1 hour ago, Gr8fuln2020 said:

Yeah, just let her make the next move. When she is ready, after her family has departed, she will contact you provided she was(is) interested at all.

Exactly.  It doesn't require any more mental energy than that.

[Wanderlust2018]

4 hours ago, basil67 said:

Max, short of an actively dying family member, I wouldn't bother with someone who couldn't make space for me within a couple of weeks.  And I don't believe she couldn't go out for a couple of hours while her parents are visiting over a period of weeks.    That's just nuts.  

And no, don't call her out.  It's a waste of energy on your part.  Just unmatch her.

Completely agree with this. As an adult, she’s that enmeshed with her parents (still) that she can’t break away for a few hours? Give me a break...