CLS63AMG Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 16 minutes ago, smackie9 said: Being in your space is only part of an indication you need to...ask yourself, was she trying to get close to you? she try light touching? flirting? does she lean into you while talking to you? Did she start dressing a little sexier/prettier? Did the conversation go towards going out dating? You said the conversation only revolved around the pets...that right there is friend zone stuff. Meeting up to walk the dogs/pets is just that, walking the dogs/pets. Did she over step? Ya she did. She should have drawn the line at giving her number and inviting you over. My guess is that she thought by just talking about the pets was a way of setting a boundary that this is as far as it goes. I'm sure this was a lesson learned. That's the thing, she did start wearing perfume and make up. She would do light touching but she also did that to the gay guy that also came around sometimes. I like to think I am pretty well versed in this stuff but she had a whole bag of mixed signals. It was like she was dangling the carrot just to have a dog walking buddy, which is ridiculous. I would also never do that to someone I wasn't interested in, start texting them and invite them over.
Author mundane Posted January 12, 2020 Author Posted January 12, 2020 (edited) Update: I just ran into her at the grocery store. As soon as she saw me she turned her back to me. She looked directly at me before turning her back to me... I also hurried and looked away. I walked past her. Was in checkout lane and as I was bagging my stuff here she comes. The look on her face was one of what do I do. I did a double take she says hi. I said have a nice day, waved and walked off. She dislikes me a great deal. I’ve never had someone act that way towards me so I am questioning what is wrong with me. What did I do to deserve that. It really hurt deeply. In the last 14 months I have been going to that gym I have only approached her four times and it was never to flirt or ask her out... . One other time in the parking lot at the store months ago. WTH! I feel really sad now. Edited January 12, 2020 by mundane Updste
preraph Posted January 12, 2020 Posted January 12, 2020 She doesn't want anything to do with you. Stop even waving at her. Avoid her at the gym. Respect her decision.
Author mundane Posted January 12, 2020 Author Posted January 12, 2020 Was I supposed to ignore her when she said hi. From now on I will.
K.K. Posted January 12, 2020 Posted January 12, 2020 29 minutes ago, mundane said: I did a double take she says hi. I said have a nice day, waved and walked off. No see, I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but this is a good thing. This is the first encounter back to eventual normalcy between you. The first step in keepin it movin. Did it feel crappy? Sure. I can picture it all in my mind just the way you said it and no doubt it was awkward. But you have to remember that she couldn’t really see inside of you or what you were really feeling. Her “Hi”and your “Have a nice day,” was perfect regular ‘hey I know you and all I’m doing is acknowledging your existence to be polite.’ conversation like we all have to have when it’s necessary and we can’t run the other way. No matter who it is. It doesn’t scream I hate you. It doesn’t scream you’re gross. You know... I’m finding it odd that she has such an awkwardness about her actions. I’m still stuck on you saying she had pictures with other gay girls online (so she obviously is not homophobic) and she added you to her Facebook. She didn’t have to do that. You also said that she said she was “shy.” That speaks volumes as well because that means you can’t really be sure how she really feels about you. She could be so shy that she doesn’t even know how to act in public and yet be at home fantasizing about what it would be like for you to be between her legs and shooting her off like a cannon! You just don’t know! For real! It happens, trust me lol! So anyway, look girl I know you feel super bad right now. I’m sorry. But it’s over. The initial dreaded ‘what am I gonna do when I see her’ event has juuuust passed. So I reiterate. Go about your business. And keep it movin. Keep going to the gym and keep on shopping. This will eventually be a forgotten faux pas. You acted like a boss this morning with your pleasantries to her, all the while being in emotional pain and no doubt more than a little embarrassed. Proud of you. 2
Author mundane Posted January 12, 2020 Author Posted January 12, 2020 (edited) It definitely sucked. Like I said I’ve known her for over a year. I’ve spoken to her 5 times. It’s not like I stop her to talk all the time. The last time I spoke two words to her was right before Christmas. The other thing is she is my group fitness instructor that’s how I know her and developed the stupid I crush I had her on her. I’m still going to the stupid class and will not look at her nor will I be close to where she is. I feel really stupid. It hurts terribly to be treated like that. I swear I’ve never done anything to her to make her act like that. Thank you KK for making me laugh Edited January 12, 2020 by mundane Upsate 1
K.K. Posted January 12, 2020 Posted January 12, 2020 Just now, mundane said: The other thing is she is my group fitness instructor that’s how I know her and developed the stupid I crush I had her on her. I swear I’ve never done anything to her to make her act like that. Crushes are horrible, right? Giirl, I feel ya. How do you think I know! That’s why they call them a ‘crush.’ But try not to let your mind blow up what she did into something it may not be. You were trying to avoid her and get away too! lol So just try to go easy on yourself and day by day, your wounded pride and confidence will return and it’s all gonna be ok. Update next time you go to the gym ... kk. 1
Author mundane Posted January 12, 2020 Author Posted January 12, 2020 (edited) Why would a 50 year old react like that. Oh well. I’m one of those anxious over thinkers so I will pick this apart and berate myself the rest of the day. Those gay girls I’m pretty sure she dated. I was asked out by a guy at the gym. I didn’t feel weird about it. I told him I am gay but would have drinks as friends. So wth is the big deal. She’s a fitness instructor. I’m sure she gets hit on constantly. Edited January 12, 2020 by mundane Spelling error
K.K. Posted January 12, 2020 Posted January 12, 2020 6 minutes ago, mundane said: Why would a 50 year old react like that. Oh well. I’m one of those anxious over thinkers so I will pick this apart and berate myself the rest of the day. Those gay girls I’m pretty sure she dated. I was asked out by a guy at the gym. I didn’t feel weird about it. I told him I am gay but would have drinks as friends. So wth is the big deal. She’s a fitness instructor. I’m sure she gets hit on constantly. Age is irrelevant here, growing older doesn’t always mean growing up. She probably acted the same way she would’ve if she was 20 lol! Unless she is older and you are 20. Then she’s just pissing on herself as to what to do and creaming her panties- I don’t care what anybody else says. 1
preraph Posted January 12, 2020 Posted January 12, 2020 You don't need to feel stupid. You aren't psychic. You have a right to express interest in someone. But she showed you by her actions she's not comfortable with it, so now you totally stop. And you placed a lot of emphasis on you thinking she either might be gay or be comfortable with lesbians. Of course, just because someone is gay or comfortable doesn't have anything to do with who they are attracted to. There's no obligation to be nice to anyone just because you're both gay or whatever. Realize women have instincts for knowing when someone is watching and interested in them. It's survival instincts that go back to the dawn of time. You can't get anything like that past a woman. She saw that you were and she demonstrated that she was backing away so you wouldn't ask her out and she'd have to do it more directly to say no. Straight or gay, all women prefer not to have that confrontation experience. 1
Author mundane Posted January 14, 2020 Author Posted January 14, 2020 I did see her last night and avoided running into her cause I feel uncomfortable and just going to mind my own business until this passes. However to my surprise she liked a couple of my posts last evening. Trust me I’m not reading into it. Just made me feel a bit better about the situation.
K.K. Posted January 14, 2020 Posted January 14, 2020 5 hours ago, mundane said: However to my surprise she liked a couple of my posts last evening. Uh huh ... 5 hours ago, mundane said: Trust me I’m not reading into it. Just made me feel a bit better about the situation. I know. Hey, if nothing else it’s her trying to normalize the situation as well as you are. A good thing any which way you look at it. I like this update. Kk
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