Malin889 Posted January 7, 2020 Posted January 7, 2020 I finally went out on a great (online) date on Sunday -- we got along really well, laughed a lot, and had great chemistry. He was quite a gentleman, walked me to my car, gave me a nice hug and a peck on the lips, and said he was happy to meet me and texted me after saying he didn't want to leave. We got along great. He's been texting me for the last two days, and I’ve been letting him lead the way. We’ve had great chemistry over texting as well, he's very funny and I'm giving it right back to him. I'm pretty sure we'll go out again, but we haven’t set a date yet. He's older than me and told me he's old school when it comes to dating, so he doesn't know how to do online dating very well. (Do any of us? lol) Do I ask him or wait for him to ask me? I feel like he'll ask me because he's so old school, but hasn’t yet. Maybe I’m just being impatient?
Ruby Slippers Posted January 7, 2020 Posted January 7, 2020 Congrats on the great date! If he's old school and has a clue, he'll ask you out for the weekend by Wednesday evening at the latest. I'm a firm believer that it's the man's job to ask the woman out on dates in the dating stage. 1 1
smackie9 Posted January 7, 2020 Posted January 7, 2020 Holy crap it's been two days so far....he will ask you out again prob Thursday when it gets close to the weekend. Waiting sucks I get it. If it bothers you make some hints.
alphamale Posted January 7, 2020 Posted January 7, 2020 for a weekend date he must ask you on or before Wednesday. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted January 7, 2020 Posted January 7, 2020 I'm not a traditionalist in any sense, but he walked you to your car ... He played the gentleman role ... Part of the gentleman role is to take the lead and ask the woman out for a second date. So yes, wait for him to ask you out. And do yourself a favor by not texting too much. People can get carried away with texting ... and fun texting fools people into thinking the relationship is more further along than in reality it is. And yes, you should hear an offer on Wednesday or Thursday ... Thursday is kinda late but he should ask you out soon. Here's the deal: try not to get carried away with hope. Let things emerge in reality.
Author Malin889 Posted January 7, 2020 Author Posted January 7, 2020 1 hour ago, Ruby Slippers said: Congrats on the great date! If he's old school and has a clue, he'll ask you out for the weekend by Wednesday evening at the latest. I'm a firm believer that it's the man's job to ask the woman out on dates in the dating stage. Thank you and yes I believe he has a clue— he has his s*** together and seems to know what he’s doing. And I agree, the guy should ask, I just needed a second opinion! 1
Author Malin889 Posted January 7, 2020 Author Posted January 7, 2020 (edited) 20 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said: And do yourself a favor by not texting too much. People can get carried away with texting ... and fun texting fools people into thinking the relationship is more further along than in reality it is. Yes, that’s why I don’t like texting too much. I want to get to know each other face to face, not through texting. He’s been texting a lot, so maybe I just won’t answer every text. Quote Edited January 7, 2020 by Malin889
Author Malin889 Posted January 7, 2020 Author Posted January 7, 2020 21 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said: I'm not a traditionalist in any sense, but he walked you to your car ... He played the gentleman role ... Part of the gentleman role is to take the lead and ask the woman out for a second date. So yes, wait for him to ask you out. Agreed, I think the gentleman should ask too, thank you!
alphamale Posted January 7, 2020 Posted January 7, 2020 23 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said: I'm not a traditionalist in any sense, but he walked you to your car ... He played the gentleman role ... Part of the gentleman role is to take the lead and ask the woman out for a second date. So yes, wait for him to ask you out. And do yourself a favor by not texting too much. People can get carried away with texting ... and fun texting fools people into thinking the relationship is more further along than in reality it is. And yes, you should hear an offer on Wednesday or Thursday ... Thursday is kinda late but he should ask you out soon. Here's the deal: try not to get carried away with hope. Let things emerge in reality. ^^this totally^^
Ruby Slippers Posted January 7, 2020 Posted January 7, 2020 30 minutes ago, alphamale said: for a weekend date he must ask you on or before Wednesday. Damn skippy. If he waits till Thursday I already have plans... even if those plans are to do my own thing.
Author Malin889 Posted January 7, 2020 Author Posted January 7, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: Damn skippy. If he waits till Thursday I already have plans... even if those plans are to do my own thing. I do already have plans with a friend on Friday lol Edited January 7, 2020 by Malin889 1
Author Malin889 Posted January 7, 2020 Author Posted January 7, 2020 56 minutes ago, alphamale said: for a weekend date he must ask you on or before Wednesday. Is this a rule?!
alphamale Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 3 hours ago, Malin889 said: Is this a rule?! no, but I've met a lot of women who swear by it
Lotsgoingon Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 The Wednesday followup is just smart. The number of times I delayed the followup ... and the person had something scheduled already! (Or didn't want to admit they had been waiting for a call and so pretended they had something scheduled) ... too frequent to linger on. Also a late-week invite seems wishy-washy ... like you couldn't make up your mind or you procrastinated out of fear. Wednesday is a great target time. Very confident and clear.
Author Malin889 Posted January 8, 2020 Author Posted January 8, 2020 12 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said: The Wednesday followup is just smart. The number of times I delayed the followup ... and the person had something scheduled already! (Or didn't want to admit they had been waiting for a call and so pretended they had something scheduled) ... too frequent to linger on. Also a late-week invite seems wishy-washy ... like you couldn't make up your mind or you procrastinated out of fear. Wednesday is a great target time. Very confident and clear. Well It’s now Wednesday... he’s already texted me this morning to say good morning and a few other things, but no mention of going out yet. The last text he texted was asking me about my office… Should I say, “maybe I can tell you more in person?” Without directly asking him out, just to give him a nudge? We’ve already been out, I know he hasn’t dated since his divorce a few years ago so maybe he’s a little rusty, but he’s got to know I want to see him again in person, right?
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 At this point you can try the passive approach you suggested -- maybe I can tell you more in person -- or you could just arrange the next date. Stop worrying about turns & gender roles. If he flakes, at least you know without waiting, wondering, worrying or wasting too much time.
Author Malin889 Posted January 8, 2020 Author Posted January 8, 2020 29 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: At this point you can try the passive approach you suggested -- maybe I can tell you more in person -- or you could just arrange the next date. Stop worrying about turns & gender roles. If he flakes, at least you know without waiting, wondering, worrying or wasting too much time. Thank you for the advice!
Miss Spider Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 If it were me, I would wait and see if he asked me. It’s a good indicator of the guy’s interest if he will take initiative because he wants to see you again. He is a traditional guy. I’m sure he knows what to do.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 3 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: If it were me, I would wait and see if he asked me. It’s a good indicator of the guy’s interest if he will take initiative because he wants to see you again. He is a traditional guy. I’m sure he knows what to do. Agreed. Do you want to be with a guy you have to prod to do what you'd like him to do on his own? I say no, thanks.
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 14 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: Do you want to be with a guy you have to prod to do what you'd like him to do on his own? She said he's recently divorced & a little rusty. Can't we give him the benefit of the doubt & have her ask for the 2nd date so he doesn't have so much pressure? She also said surely he knows she likes him. Nothing is ever sure when it comes to what somebody else knows about a new person unless you point blank tell them. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 20 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: She said he's recently divorced & a little rusty. Can't we give him the benefit of the doubt & have her ask for the 2nd date so he doesn't have so much pressure? She also said surely he knows she likes him. Nothing is ever sure when it comes to what somebody else knows about a new person unless you point blank tell them. She can do what she wants, but I would never in a million years advise a woman to ask a man out. In general, a woman wants a go-getter who has strong desire and initiative. I think asking a man out is stealing his thunder. Even the most desirable men with many women chasing them have confirmed to me that it's deflating when a woman takes over what he views as his job in this way. Men value more what they have to work to earn - not anyone easy or overly eager.
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 Just now, Ruby Slippers said: Men value more what they have to work to earn - not anyone easy or overly eager. That is definitely something I agree with. However this is a 2nd date . . .so I'm a tad more open to her asking. She definitely has to do something rather then sit there wondering.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 3 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: That is definitely something I agree with. However this is a 2nd date . . .so I'm a tad more open to her asking. She definitely has to do something rather then sit there wondering. I would never sit there waiting on a man. I'd go about my life and then accommodate him once he asks me out again if I'm interested. Let the man take the leadership position from the start and the odds of you ever having to drag along a halfhearted fella are significantly reduced.
Author Malin889 Posted January 10, 2020 Author Posted January 10, 2020 (edited) Quote CookiesandDough said: Any updates? Yes, we went out last night and had fun. Against some people's opinions, I nudged him and he asked me out. We joked about it on our date, and he said that his co-workers and family kept asking him, what's up with the girl, the weekend's coming, have you made plans with her yet, etc etc, and he said no, and realized he should have made plans with me sooner. He said he's been out of the dating game for a while and wasn't sure what to do. I told him he's setting up/asking/planning the date for the next time. Edited January 10, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Attribute response 1
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