wahaha1 Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 I am in a love triangle with 2 guys, I have been going along with my bf for 6+ years, and with this new guy for 1 year. The love is so strong with the new guy but we are in LDR and I don't get too much chance to get to know this him well, however, we care and love each other. My question is, this other man is planning to move on, and if I tell him to hold on till end of year and I am going to give him a definite answer (whether to break up or move on), if you were him, what do you think? Will you stay and come back to me?
erika2610 Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 I am in a love triangle with 2 guys, I have been going along with my bf for 6+ years, and with this new guy for 1 year. The love is so strong with the new guy but we are in LDR and I don't get too much chance to get to know this him well, however, we care and love each other. My question is, this other man is planning to move on, and if I tell him to hold on till end of year and I am going to give him a definite answer (whether to break up or move on), if you were him, what do you think? Will you stay and come back to me? I dont't think that's really fair to him. Because what's to say that at th end of the year you won't say no? Then he'll have waited months for your answer, and in that time could've found Ms. Right..
Author wahaha1 Posted October 4, 2005 Author Posted October 4, 2005 End of year is the earliest time that we can meet with each other, we are 8000 miles away, that's why I want to make decision by then. I understand that it has been a while for him, and I think we really need to spend time together to sort this thing out? Also, can you advise what can I do for this new guy at the moment?
erika2610 Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 End of year is the earliest time that we can meet with each other, we are 8000 miles away, that's why I want to make decision by then. I understand that it has been a while for him, and I think we really need to spend time together to sort this thing out? Also, can you advise what can I do for this new guy at the moment? I think you need to decide which one you wanna be with more.. which one do you like more & which one is more worth it? Why did you get this new guy a year ago? What's wrong with the relationship you've had for 6 years?
RecordProducer Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 Why are you cheating on your boyfriend? If you're no longer in love with him then he is not the one. If you're happy with him then don't seek additional excitement on aside. How would you feel if you found out that your BF has been deceiving you for a year? If you love him then ditch the other guy. If you don't then have a fair braek-up and move on. Whether you will be with the other guy or somebody else shouldn't make a difference. You want to keep the other guy but don't like it that he is far away. You can't have them both. As long as you love one man you shouldn't cheat on him. When you stop loving him, finish the story with him then start another one. The reason why people fall in love troangles is because they want complete love fulfillment in every aspect; your new guy gives you what you are missing with your old BF. But it only feels good for you. Would you like to be somebody's appendix-lover?
Author wahaha1 Posted October 4, 2005 Author Posted October 4, 2005 This is about what I want and what I actually need. My selfishness caught me in this love triangle. You are right that the two guys together give me a complete picture of love. The new guy can provide excitement, romance and wealth, my bf can take care of my daily activities. My logical mind tells me to stick with my bf, where I was preparing to let go this other guy for months, by staying a little bit aloof, less communication, etc. However, the other guy kept staying and my soft heart made this triangle continue. Last week, this other guy told me about moving on, and I overestimated my ability for facing this outcome, my heart cracked badly. My emotional mind ruled my logical mind and made me feel I want this guy back. This is a painful struggling but today when I wake up, my logical mind kicks in and I know I have to let go this new guy. If this is true love, and maybe one day our paths will cross again and the story continue. Right now I won't ask for more, but I hope this new guy and I can be good friends. Do you think this is possible?
PatientOne Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 I think you will end up losing both men. You are not giving yourself to either of them completely, and eventually it will catch up with you.
Leid Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 I think you will end up losing both men. You are not giving yourself to either of them completely, and eventually it will catch up with you. I agree wholeheartedly. That's it in a nutshell.
Author wahaha1 Posted October 4, 2005 Author Posted October 4, 2005 anybody has experience that after a peaceful breakup, two of you can still be good friends? How long will this take and how is ithe process? For my case, this new guy hurted me quite badly during the year, just because I was having expectation for him or I got setup with expectation. I have been following 'no expectation, no disappointment' rule for more than half year, and since then I didn't feel much hurt. If he promise me to do something, I would treat that as a joke, and if he was really doing what he had promised, I would appreciate that, if not, I was still fine with that. So, had I already took the first step to switch the relationship from lover to friend?
cherrie498 Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 anybody has experience that after a peaceful breakup, two of you can still be good friends? How long will this take and how is ithe process? For my case, this new guy hurted me quite badly during the year, just because I was having expectation for him or I got setup with expectation. I have been following 'no expectation, no disappointment' rule for more than half year, and since then I didn't feel much hurt. If he promise me to do something, I would treat that as a joke, and if he was really doing what he had promised, I would appreciate that, if not, I was still fine with that. So, had I already took the first step to switch the relationship from lover to friend? Is that really how you want to live your life?! If you never expected anything from someone you will never get anything!!! Think hard about changing your motto! Make people live up to your expectations....dont just lay down & let them run you over.....& over&....over.........AGAIN!!!!
Author wahaha1 Posted October 5, 2005 Author Posted October 5, 2005 no, I hold expectation for friends, family...etc. However, I think lovers will hold highest level of expectation. just I don't know how to face this guy, he got me disappointed for many times, say., on a public holiday, we setup plans and meeting at certain place at certain time.., then found out he disappeared for the whole day..., he said that he would send me emails/things at certain time.., he forgot... all these disappointments added up and caused me to downgrade my expectations for this guy. I found that I am more happier after resetting expectation.
RecordProducer Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 I think you should be with the guy you're in love with. If you don't love your BF then leave him. If you also don't trust your new guy then find a third guy. This world doesn't consist of two men. You have found everything in two guys, but you may find what you need in one guy (not necessarily everything). If you stay with your BF, he will always lack the excitement, romance, and wealth. On the other hand the new guy may lack other things. Why not find romance, excitement, and warmth in one guy? Cheating is not right and it will tumble down on your head sooner or later. How old are you, if I may ask?
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