Angel29 Posted January 1, 2020 Posted January 1, 2020 I was talking to a guy on Bumble in December who lived about 90 miles away from me. We were getting on well. On 19th December he said he would like to take me on a date and he would come to my town and asked when I was free. I replied on 20th December and gave him 2 free dates and said if he is not free we can meet in the New Year. I got no reply for 5 days (which in that time he has been on the app in 2 different locations) until 25th December saying Merry Christmas and he asked if I had a nice time. I replied on 26th December and then on the 27th December he asked what I was doing for the rest of the holidays, I replied a day later and did not hear anything since. Last night on New Years Eve I deleted him. I understand that everyone is busy over the Christmas holidays but he asked me when I was free, I gave him some dates and he didn't even acknowledge it. Was I a bit quick to delete him or did he just seem like he was playing a game?
Legatus Posted January 1, 2020 Posted January 1, 2020 You did what you thought was right for you - this you should never question. Looks like you expected him to reply a little bit faster and be more engaged. It could be that he doesn't do that so early when you only spoke for few days/weeks. No matter what I think personally, it seems like you know you did the right thing. He wasn't even bothered to answer once you gave him clear dates to meet up.
stillafool Posted January 1, 2020 Posted January 1, 2020 You did the right thing. He was showing low interest by not replying back to you about the meet. Plus you haven't heard back from him when you sent the last text. My guess is he's seeing other women and can't fit you in. 1
Versacehottie Posted January 1, 2020 Posted January 1, 2020 eh, I think you did the right thing for you. Not sure 100% it was the right thing basically because just thinking like some guys think, you said after the new year was ok, so he might have felt no time pressure. Also the holidays are really busy and 90 minutes is far away. I think sometimes people on OLD can be too harsh, too black and white in their thinking. It looks like you might have encountered someone who doesn't approach things like that. That said, it could be that he's got a really open, ie less relationship push, with his online dating activities. or even that he is just a player. TBH, there was some study done where guys typically aren't "searching for a relationship" (in general)--they are searching for the right person and OPEN to a relationship if the right person comes along. To me, Idk, that sounds honestly like a better approach. Much preferred to be the right person, rather than just filling an available slot. I think a lot of women would do better to take a similar approach I think though overall the generalization is that to meet up sooner is better so you keep momentum so maybe next time don't leave him that wide open of your schedule if you don't mean it in your heart. Otherwise, it just makes you resentful and doubt his intentions. Which tbh, i don't think you had enough information as to what those are yet & he might not even know what they are until he meets you (and vice versa). Lastly, if you guys couldn't manage to get together 90 minutes away in a 2-3 weeks span maybe it would be too difficult to date. Overall, my opinion, if you were open to it initially when talking, including the time frame you gave him initially for meeting up, stick with that. To flip flop, shows that you are too highly invested (same with deleting him on NYE!!!). I don't think he did anything awful enough to get deleted--which is not an endorsement, just if you have an open mind, keep to it advice. Good luck 1
elaine567 Posted January 2, 2020 Posted January 2, 2020 21 hours ago, Versacehottie said: I think sometimes people on OLD can be too harsh, too black and white in their thinking I agree. Sometimes things take time to develop and are not black and white. It is not as if he committed some dastardly crime, you haven't even met yet, so I would not have blocked him. I wouldn't be sitting on the edge of my seat waiting... but no need to block IMO.
smackie9 Posted January 2, 2020 Posted January 2, 2020 You did the right thing because it didn't feel right. I'm sure the distance was a contributing factor. 1
PRW Posted January 2, 2020 Posted January 2, 2020 On 1/1/2020 at 5:11 AM, Angel29 said: On 19th December he said he would like to take me on a date and he would come to my town and asked when I was free. I replied on 20th December and gave him 2 free dates and said if he is not free we can meet in the New Year. You aren't the only woman he was dealing with,...and he is a poor juggler. He sounded like one of those guy who can't stick to a plan or even make a definite plan,...then gets tossed every which way by circumstances because he isn't decisive enough to cut through all of it. It probably would have been and endless source of frustration.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 2, 2020 Posted January 2, 2020 You definitely did the right thing. You snooze, you lose. 1
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