kendahke Posted January 2, 2020 Posted January 2, 2020 On 12/31/2019 at 5:59 PM, Cora said: True, but if he thought that then I don’t think he would have pushed to see me at first. I don’t know....who knows? sounds more like he was pushing for sex, not necessarily to see you for dating. 1
kendahke Posted January 2, 2020 Posted January 2, 2020 On 12/31/2019 at 6:13 PM, Cora said: I have two potential dates set up this week with two other guys that I’m not even excited about because with my luck we all know how they will go. It’s exhausting. Expectations are future resentments under construction. Just go with no expectations other than pleasant conversation for 90 minutes. 1
Malin889 Posted January 2, 2020 Posted January 2, 2020 I'm online dating currently and I have to say it's definitely a tough time to meet up with the holidays and everything, and with the amount of weirdos out there, it definitely takes an exhausting toll on you. I had a couple of weirdos the past few days cross my path, and I just want to give up at all the craziness. BUT, I'm going to keep going and hope it was just the holidays that made everyone crazy and desperate. It is difficult because as you get older and have kids and are busy with life, sometimes online dating is the only way to meet. But then again, I also went out with a friend last week and flirted with a guy at a bar, he stared at me as he was leaving, so there is always hope. 3
Author Cora Posted January 2, 2020 Author Posted January 2, 2020 14 hours ago, smackie9 said: So you are saying that you over invested in someone that you have never met and make a bunch of assumptions about all for not. I was more frustrated by the fact that it seems to keep occurring with multiple people. It’s hard not to make assumptions when it happens over and over again.
smackie9 Posted January 2, 2020 Posted January 2, 2020 (edited) 13 minutes ago, Cora said: I was more frustrated by the fact that it seems to keep occurring with multiple people. It’s hard not to make assumptions when it happens over and over again. Set yourself some guidelines....If they don't ask you out after a few messages, don't waste your time. If they ask you out but keep delaying, once is enough, block/delete them, move on. The quicker you put the brakes on, the quicker you can move onto someone else and eventually find someone that is truly interested. Go by their actions, not what they tell you...it's just way too easy to keep you on the hook with empty promises. Don't fall for their crap. Edited January 2, 2020 by smackie9 5
Malin889 Posted January 2, 2020 Posted January 2, 2020 21 minutes ago, Cora said: I was more frustrated by the fact that it seems to keep occurring with multiple people. It’s hard not to make assumptions when it happens over and over again. I had 3 (Online) dates planned for last weekend. They all had to cancel for one reason or another - one was working, another had the flu, the 3rd had to bring his kid somewhere. None of these cancellations were personal, they don’t even know me. I laughed at the sense of humor of the universe. It'll be ok. 1
kendahke Posted January 3, 2020 Posted January 3, 2020 21 hours ago, Cora said: I was more frustrated by the fact that it seems to keep occurring with multiple people. Locate the common denominator with these multiple people and work on correcting that.
CLS63AMG Posted January 4, 2020 Posted January 4, 2020 If it keeps happening then you are scaring them off with stuff that you are texting.
Noproblem Posted January 5, 2020 Posted January 5, 2020 On 12/31/2019 at 12:35 PM, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said: Have your first meeting be brief and over a coffee and this problem of getting ghosted will go away... Asking strange men to invest resources into somebody they do not even know is going to end up with you getting ghosted every single time. Time, is a resource as well; your first meeting should be brief, 15-20 minutes... I know you have this whole construct in your female mind where you need to spend hours and hours with a guy to see if you like him or not, but in reality, it only takes a couple seconds to tell if you have chemistry or not. My thoughts exactly, why would a man come and and probably pay for a hefty dinner for nothing. First meeting should always be at a coffee shop or somewhere similar. No money invested, not much time wasted and in daylight, so it is also safe! 1
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