He called his manager a bad name, should he contact hr?

[Miss Spider]

Hi. Trying to help my friend. He has been dealing with a lot of bad behavior from one of his managers for what seems like forever. He says he’s always felt very bullied. I’m not sure the exact details, but the other day something happened where she was doing something out of protocol and he lost it. They got into it and he called her a c***. He got a write up. Should he contact hr? Thanks 

[Art_Critic]

Why ? he is the one who called her a totally inappropriate name.. if anything he should be pulled into HR about that name as it can be considered harassment.

If he has some issue with her that should go to maybe his boss then maybe that should be the avenue, it seems this has already escalated to the point where someone is going to get fired..

 

 

Edited December 28, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[LivingWaterPlease]

The only reason he should contact her is to apologize.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Unfortunately, the only avenue when someone doesn't get along with their manager is to leave.

He could try to talk to her boss about bullying but it's a risky move. If he needs this job, my recommendation is to lay low and hopefully he won't be fired right away.

[basil67]

There is no justification for calling someone this (or a handful of any other derogatory terms) in a workplace.   

[JTSW]

He needs to talk to someone higher up, like a managing director and explain everything.

He needs to tell them about her behavior that drove him to verbally lash out.

He needs to tell them about her bullying etc because it's their job to ensure that this stuff does not happen in the workplace.

Edited January 7, 2020 by JTSW

[PinkFlamingo]

No matter what she did or how she treated him, he is crazy to call her the c-word. That's professional suicide. He propelled himself out of the victim corner to jerk sphere.

JTSW's suggestion might work, but he probably needs to escalate this to higher management level very quickly and be very detailed with his report, because as soon as people hear that he used the c-word, their first reaction will probably be to shut down to his complaints.

[elaine567]

He needs to look very carefully at the relationship he has with this woman.
Is her behaviour bad and she is bullying him, or does he just not like her, a personality clash maybe?
Or he doesn't like people telling him what to do?
Or he doesn't like women telling him what to do?

By calling her the Cword, he is now on the back foot. He may be seen as the one causing trouble.
He needs to go to management with valid and proven complaints if he has them, not just "He said, she said" stuff.
If they see him as "not a team player", it may be him they choose to get rid of, if it comes to that...

[Miss Spider]

Thank you all. I think it’s pretty funny he called her that but you’re right that it’s inexcusable. The GM sided with the lady so only he got a write up. Last I heard, he is laying low, but will go to HR if it doesn’t blow over. 

She apparently dated his friend and his friend committed suicide after  she broke up with him and moved out leaving him stuck with bills. Everyone else feels bad for her, but he feels like she triggered it so I there’s personal stuff going on. 

 

 

Thanks again 

Edited January 9, 2020 by Cookiesandough