Y2KG21 Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 Ok, I am really heartbroken right now. My girlfriend of 6 months has told me that we need to take a break for a bit. She wants to not talk for a week then go back to slowly dating for a bit. I will fill you in. She is a nurse. We dated for 2 months and then she was fired from her job for popping pills. She needed to go to in house treatment for 30 days. I stood by her through this all. Didnt have a clue she was popping the pills but needless to say I stood by her. She made it through the treatment and then its been tough for her to find a job, however she just did two weeks ago. I on the other hand lost my job a month ago due to layoffs and am looking. So things havent been easy for us. She thinks that she is spending way to much time at home with nothing to do because she wont start work for 30 more days, analyzing all my faults. She states that she has lost respect for me and doesnt have fun anymore. She has a very strong personality. She says I just sit and take what she says and accepts it....I dont stand up to her. I am a layed back person. In my eyes she was going through tough times and I wanted to create the least amount of stress as possible so I tried to make things easy. She has told me that have so many great qualities that she doesnt want to give up on yet. However she needs a person that will stand up to her. We talked and argued on Thursday...decided a week would be good....then I called her Friday with a few questions for her which led to another argument...then I called again Sat leaving a VM telling her I wanted to talk to her about some things I have probably been wrong about. She hasnt returned my call...which could mean so many things but I am going with she isnt calling back because it would just lead to more arguing and more back and forth crap and this is suppose to be a time for a break. I need help.....are we doomed? am I doomed? Can this be fixed? Will she call back? I know its only been Sunday and part of the day, but wont she start to miss me sooon or not? She said she loved me, but lost respect for me because I wouldnt stand up to her all the time and hence has falllen out of love....what do I do? I really do love this girl....and now I am hurt....Do I do the NC no matter what...no matter if its 10 days or longer....do I start to move on now or do I wait to see if she truly wants to try and fix things. She says she wants to start over.
Art_Critic Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 Did you live together ? How old are the 2 of you ? If she was popping pills she has some issues that she needs to address as well. It sounds like you need to have more of a voice in the relationship and take more control of things.
wahaha1 Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 Take a break, you two will calm down and have a clearer perpective of the whole thing.
Author Y2KG21 Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 she is 33 and I am 31. I just hope I havent pushed her away by calling her back Friday and then leaving her a VM Sat....will a few more days of me not trying to contact her start to make her realize what she is missing? Your right I do need to have more of a say in the relationship....but man sometimes she could be so harsh....but she is a GREAT person.
Art_Critic Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 I think the arguing is doing all the pushing right now.. It can leave a very powerful stain that won't go away. You need to pull away and see if she follows.. Is she OCD by chance ? You said she sits at home anyalizing all of your faults.. Your relationship is only 6 months old..
Author Y2KG21 Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 Art, thanks...What is OCD? Well I am not going to contact her untill she contacts me. Thursday was a lot of talking/arguing....which we decided 1 week....Friday I called her back...she listened then it led to more arguing....Sat I left VM...she hasnt returned the call and I havent called again.....I just hope I havent ruined the chance for re-try shall we say if thats what we decide....I hope she realizes that it was a shock to me and that I am willing to give her space now.
Art_Critic Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 I hope she realizes that it was a shock to me and that I am willing to give her space now. OCD is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder .. You are on thr right track with giving her space as she asked for.. This is one of those times that you listen to a woman's words and take her at her word. She asks for space... Give it to her If you don't she will continue to lose respect for you Good luck
Author Y2KG21 Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 ART Crtic...are you saying that each day I give her space she could start givig me some respect back?
Art_Critic Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 Not neccesarily .. But if you don't give her the space she will continue to lose any respect that she still has for you. Respect, once it is lost is hard to regain.. if in the future you do "start over" as she has put it, you will have a huge hurdle to overcome because of the loss of respect she no longer has for you.. It will take time.
RecordProducer Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 are we doomed? I think so. If after only two months she needs a break and she feels that you're not strong enough for her (or whatever) I don't see you as a happy couple in the future. Sorry, hun.
Author Y2KG21 Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 Record Producer....its been 6 months....not that, that matters....but if it was only 2 months I would feel a little better than I do now.
RecordProducer Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 Oh.. right.. well anyway the best you can do is wait and see. I mean, it's not like you've done somethingwrong and you need to be a better person, right?
Author Y2KG21 Posted October 4, 2005 Author Posted October 4, 2005 Record PRudcer...your so right....I didnt do anything wrong...in fact I know times were rough for her...but they werent peachy for me either....I think the more I have talked about our relationship with my friends and family I am realizying I should end the break for good.....its tough though...I can tell if I am riding emotional swing or not....but the fact that she has asked for it seems tough...
Author Y2KG21 Posted October 4, 2005 Author Posted October 4, 2005 How do I know if I was in love with her...or what she represented.....a relationship.....
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