Venn Posted December 23, 2019 Posted December 23, 2019 so you got rejected by the girl you like or maybe infatuated with, she told you were needy or maybe after the first meeting she realized you weren't the guy she was looking for, maybe ghosted or slow faded you after that or a blunt rejection so you don't keep chasing her. This happened to me once and after a year or so she came back and was wondering why the hell she remembered me and stuff when I thought she already forgot about me. Or maybe because we had a lot of mutual friends or something. were there any of you here that did come back after rejection? If so how long? How did you handle it?
hercules22 Posted December 23, 2019 Posted December 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Venn said: so you got rejected by the girl you like or maybe infatuated with, she told you were needy or maybe after the first meeting she realized you weren't the guy she was looking for, maybe ghosted or slow faded you after that or a blunt rejection so you don't keep chasing her. This happened to me once and after a year or so she came back and was wondering why the hell she remembered me and stuff when I thought she already forgot about me. Or maybe because we had a lot of mutual friends or something. were there any of you here that did come back after rejection? If so how long? How did you handle it? i got ghosted by a girl we only had one date she agreed to second date then dropped off face off the earth before 2nd date said she was sick probably wasnt must of had something lined up with someone else she came back a year later by adding me randomly on facebook i gave her a 2nd chance see if it anything happens never trusted her was weary we met again this time she seemed more serious then was acting hot and cold and pretty much ghosted me again . said she enjoyed spending time with me and stuff always used to write massive paragraphs aswell then just dissappeared again so what did this girl say to you? just recently i met some other girl she used that line i was the opposite to what she was looking for so i took word i dont think she will come back maybe girls change there minds but i always see that girls will always see you as some option sometimes they choose the wrong dude so they try there luck with someone they connected with before??
scooby-philly Posted December 23, 2019 Posted December 23, 2019 I've had a few casual interests pop back up over the years - mostly because they wanted something - money, stability, etc. I didn't really give them the time of day. No judgment or ill feelings - but I've always been a giver and the way I see it - if someone treats you wrong in any way, shape, or form, then to come back into my life you need to make the apology and the new behavior ABUNDANTLY clear - and for the most part, it takes people a long time to change or to really hit rock bottom - so after a few weeks, or months, or a year, nothing really would have changed.
OatsAndHall Posted December 23, 2019 Posted December 23, 2019 (edited) I would say about a third I meet via dating sites end up "Roledexing" me. We chat, meet, they disappear and then pop back up again a few weeks later with a random message. They have multiple irons in the fire, things don't pan out with those other "irons" and they hit me up again. It doesn't bother me anymore but I certainly don't respond or acknowledge them when they roll back around. I'm not angry with them but I'm not going to waste time or money meeting up with them again; I wasn't Mr. Right a few weeks ago and I doubt I'll be Mr. Right at any point for them. Honestly, it's something to expected in today's current dating culture. Edited December 23, 2019 by OatsAndHall
carhill Posted December 23, 2019 Posted December 23, 2019 My funniest anecdote was asking out the manager of a bearing house I did business with when learning of her split with her H. We'd known each other for years and often had uncharacteristically long and personal conversations in her office over the years so hey I figured I'd give it a shot. Got shot down on two counts, which became the funny part later. One, I was a customer, she doesn't date customers. Two I was too young, ten years in my case. Cool, so no movie and dinner, business relationship carried on. A year later she married a customer my age. Difference, his family was a prominent ranching family in the area. Me, just a local business owner. It wasn't long after, at 30 (she was 40 when marrying the other guy) I decided I'd had enough rejections and went on to other things and mostly forgot about women for about five years. I'd gave it a good shot for a decade or so and that was plenty. At some point, acceptance of the real was the healthy choice. 1
The Outlaw Posted December 23, 2019 Posted December 23, 2019 I didn't try again. If I'm rejected or ghosted, I can take the hint and I'm done. Period. There isn't any more desire to try again. 1
hercules22 Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 3 minutes ago, enigma32 said: This happened to me once, ages ago. Met this girl at a bar, we knew one another from back in the day. We started hanging out but I was taking things slow with her since I liked her. She came on really strong, acted like I was the best thing ever then...poof, gone. She actually stood me up on Valentine's Day. She came back a couple more times in my life, and since I was a young, clueless guy, I always let her back in. Stupid. Ladies and Gents, if someone ghosts or disappears on you only to return later, there is really only one reason why...they were with someone else. They were talking to you and someone else at the same time and picked that person over you. When they come back, it's because things fell apart with that other person and now they are thinking that maybe you would have been the better choice. Problem is, they ghosted you once for a reason and they will likely do it again. Don't waste your time. Yep just mark it up as there loss for taking you granted sometimes i dont get why people cut ties only after one date when they liked you guess some people cant multi date so it easier for them to cut someone out
Ami1uwant Posted December 25, 2019 Posted December 25, 2019 One of the weirdest things I had...I had about 4 dates with this woman spread out over about 9 months. we had 2 dates then she pooped and disappeared for about 4 months. Then another date then she poofed again for 3 months. The first down she said was a medical surgery she needed. Second one was another reason with work. I could have slept with her if I wanted but I didn’t see a future.
carhill Posted December 25, 2019 Posted December 25, 2019 Ha, ha, just thought of another one, however it was after I'd had a modicum of dating success after the long hiatus..... was working as a zoo docent and leading groups around the zoo and ran across this attractive lady, so markedly so I tried out my then new (expensive back then!) digital camera to take some pictures of her around the zoo with her permission. We got on well so I figured hey ask her out on a date. She declined. Funny part..... she'd had her breasts done but hadn't yet had her penis removed... yup an early mid-stage transgender (we called them transsexuals back then). In every way, in clothing, demeanor and appearance and mannerisms, she was a woman. I had no clue until she told me and explained her process. She lived in the nearby gay community area. So, I apparently got rejected by a gay guy who was transitioning to a heterosexual woman. I think! I still have those pictures and if I look real hard yeah there's a clue or two but everyone else in the group took her as a woman. I tell ya, life is an adventure. I was always a one and done guy with dating, at least post early 20's. If a woman is initially not attracted, presuming she's available, it's unlikely she would be in the future. I settled on that generality and it worked well over the decades. For fun I'd occasionally test it, like if/when a MW became single or I ran across someone I'd asked out prior but I'd shelved any expectations at that point and it was more entertainment value than anything.
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted December 27, 2019 Posted December 27, 2019 Rejection is a great opportunity to establish physical contact.
Zippy2000 Posted December 28, 2019 Posted December 28, 2019 This happened to me years ago. I had one date with a girl but she chose to be just friends and nothing more. Fast forward 6 years later and she had 3 boyfriends in that time and then came back. However during this time I just saw her as a friend and nothing else because I had lot my feelings for her. The important thing is you have to live your live. You cannot live in the hope they will come back to you as sometimes they don't. If they do then you`ll be in a better position keeping busy and living your own life.
fromheart Posted December 29, 2019 Posted December 29, 2019 I've had dumpers try and come back. I never take dumpers back.
Kaarek Posted December 31, 2019 Posted December 31, 2019 I believe it all comes to our self-esteem, I wouldn't give another chance to someone that initially ignored my messages in purpose or ghosted me, I'd rather spend my energy with people that actually wants to be around me. Don't waste your precious time with people that doesn't appreciate you. Best regards
Recommended Posts