How my best friend stopped me from making the worst mistake

[Haileysunshinelady]

Apologies in advance this will be long but I feel my story can help struggling couples,

A little back story my best friend and I met in Middle School and we've been friends ever since.We've been there for each other through thick n thin and when she got married I was her maid of honor and similarly she was mine at my wedding.And as such I was her shoulder to cry on during her divorce six years later though at the time she didn't tell me the reason for said divorce..

 

Anyway my husband and I were married for 5 years at the time and due to him consistently traveling for work and our on going arguments I felt a disconnect in our marriage .It got so bad   one night  he had to sleep in the guest room and because he had to travel early the next morning it meant he might leave without saying goodbye  to me,So  sure  enough he left  without so much as a word to me.The action alone made me feel so unwanted and unattractive that I convinced my best friend to acommpany me to a pub to blow off some steam

 

I met my friend at her Apartments due to the fact that she gave up custody of her two kids and had to move out of her marital home she had most of her evenings free.We arrived at the local pub and I immediately went for the strong stuff to try and drown out my frustrations were as my friend stuck to orange juice(which is surprising considering the fact that she drinks the most between the two of us).

 

As the evening went on there was this guy who kept approaching me,he was gentle in his speech and confident in his words and I won't lie after all the arguments I was coming from this was like a breath of fresh air.To this day I am not sure why but I found myself confiding in a total stranger about the issues in my marriage.

 

As we talked he would comment on how my husband was an idiot for leaving such a beautiful wife in her tome of need ( cheesy and corny ya I know but it seemed to go with the mood) and how there were many men who would jump at the chance to fill his roll..

Me not being in my right mind to realise this total stranger was disrespecting my husband which in turn was disrespecting my marriage  didn't even stop him as he held my hand and moved his chair closer to mine.He then leaned forward but right before his lips got too close I heard a thump and a loud  Crush,and I see him on the floor.

 

I look up to see my best friend behind him,she  stepped over him grabbed my hand and pulled me outside.Whatever alcohol was in my system must of evaporated just from the look she gave me.As soon as we were outside she exploded,she asked how could I be so so stupid and if I realized what I would have jeopardized if she didn't intervene.

 

There was a moment of silence after her initial outburst.She took a deep breath, led me to one out the outside benches and told me the real reason for her divorce.Like me she had was having communication issues in her marriage and due to the constant fighting she found herself confiding in a male co-worker,unfortunately it developed into a 5 month affair. During that time she was crippled guilt but equally as intoxicated with lust, It only ended because her husband found a video of her and her OM in her Facebook messenger. She the look of defeat, shame and anger in her husband's eyes made her realize the gravity of what she had done.

 

She begged him for a second chance, she was willing to do anything to save her marriage and family even to the point of allowing him to sleep with another woman. This only enraged him and he pushed for divorce and full custody of the children with her video as evidence.

She said ever since being exposed   whatever lust or affection she had for her OM disappeared without a trace. She has since blokes him and found another job.

 

She held my hand and told me she has to live with the fact that the only home her children will ever know is a broken one and it came about by her hands..She also added  how no words exist to express the guilt and regret she feels each time she opens her eyes every morning,that she would gladly give a kidney if it meant she could have her family back.

 

She pleaded with me not to be like her, to not go down  a road even remotely similar to hers.  That As long as I have a chance to work on my marriage I should take with both hands and hold on tight

 

It's been 6 years since that night and honestly I can say my marriage has improved greatly, not perfect but improved. We've been blessed with two beautiful twin boys, we don't argue as much but when we do fight we absolutely end it with a kiss  the kiss( my idea ).. I just find it sad that one of the major contributors to the success of my marriage was the failure of my friends

[preraph]

Well, good.  I hope your friend straightened her life out.  Now, I have not heard of anyone losing custody because there was a photo on facebook with another guy since cheating isn't grounds for losing custody except in child endangerment situations, but glad you learned something from her mistakes.  

[Jordan's thoughts]

There’s a saying goes like “A wise man/woman learns from his/her mistakes where as an even  wiser man/her learns from the mistakes of others”...And with your friends help you’ve become an even wiser woman but I do feel bad for your friend tho, would love to know her full story if possible and if she is at  cordial  With her ex- husband...Just kinda  hoping for somewhat of a happy ending 

[Beatch]

Perhaps if you can suggest to her to join this forum and I as well am happy to see a “happy ending”  for a change unlike the staggering amount of broken homes and marriages caused by Infidelity

[mark clemson]

Yes, chances are she did you a favor. The almost affair might not have wrecked your marriage, BUT that was certainly possible if it escalated. Good for you that you are happy now!

[DKT3]

Some marriages are broken beyond repair,  others should have never been married.  But most.....well most can sustain alot if the people step back and refocus.  All marriages have ebbs and flows.  

 

Bringing others into a marriage only serves as a distraction and makes things much worse. The problem there is those who have stepped out dont realize it until it's gone. Luckily for you, you had someone else smack some sense into you.

 

 

 

 

[Haileysunshinelady]

On 12/21/2019 at 12:10 AM, preraph said:

Well, good.  I hope your friend straightened her life out.  Now, I have not heard of anyone losing custody because there was a photo on facebook with another guy since cheating isn't grounds for losing custody except in child endangerment situations, but glad you learned something from her mistakes.  

Thanks and yes she did get her life straighten out (as much as possible) and to answer your question she gave custody because she felt her ex-husband would be the better parent (guilt makes people do strange things)

[Haileysunshinelady]

On 12/26/2019 at 5:48 PM, mark clemson said:

Yes, chances are she did you a favor. The almost affair might not have wrecked your marriage, BUT that was certainly possible if it escalated. Good for you that you are happy now!

Truth be told I feel exactly that... That she did me a favor tho it was based on her pain

15 hours ago, DKT3 said:

Some marriages are broken beyond repair,  others should have never been married.  But most.....well most can sustain alot if the people step back and refocus.  All marriages have ebbs and flows.  

 

Bringing others into a marriage only serves as a distraction and makes things much worse. The problem there is those who have stepped out dont realize it until it's gone. Luckily for you, you had someone else smack some sense into you.

 

 

 

 

DKT3 I actually follow alot of your threads and I honestly believe your live should be a movie or a best seller book and yes I am blessed to have someone smack some sense into me because I know for a fact majority of Wayward spouses don't have that but love to have that

[Haileysunshinelady]

On 12/26/2019 at 3:13 PM, Jordan's thoughts said:

There’s a saying goes like “A wise man/woman learns from his/her mistakes where as an even  wiser man/her learns from the mistakes of others”...And with your friends help you’ve become an even wiser woman but I do feel bad for your friend tho, would love to know her full story if possible and if she is at  cordial  With her ex- husband...Just kinda  hoping for somewhat of a happy ending 

Actually they are cordial tho she's never stopped seeking reconciliation even after all these years after her divorce, to this day she never referees to her husband as EX and offen still wears her wedding ring..She told me how she convinced him to have dinner with her for first time in years and she was beyond ecstatic

[LeoS]

Its nice to see that their are people who at least learn from the mistakes of others and get better....

[Jordan's thoughts]

On 12/27/2019 at 7:25 PM, Haileysunshinelady said:

Actually they are cordial tho she's never stopped seeking reconciliation even after all these years after her divorce, to this day she never referees to her husband as EX and offen still wears her wedding ring..She told me how she convinced him to have dinner with her for first time in years and she was beyond ecstatic

Wow so after so long she's still chasing after her husband (ex-husband)..,It really puts in to  perspective what  temporary pleasure or a few moments of distraction  Can cost you years to come, not to sound like a  jerk but I'm sure what she's going through makes you  appreciate  Your marriage even more now I  imagine ..

[Dimjo9]

On 12/20/2019 at 2:01 PM, Haileysunshinelady said:

Apologies in advance this will be long but I feel my story can help struggling couples,

A little back story my best friend and I met in Middle School and we've been friends ever since.We've been there for each other through thick n thin and when she got married I was her maid of honor and similarly she was mine at my wedding.And as such I was her shoulder to cry on during her divorce six years later though at the time she didn't tell me the reason for said divorce..

 

Anyway my husband and I were married for 5 years at the time and due to him consistently traveling for work and our on going arguments I felt a disconnect in our marriage .It got so bad   one night  he had to sleep in the guest room and because he had to travel early the next morning it meant he might leave without saying goodbye  to me,So  sure  enough he left  without so much as a word to me.The action alone made me feel so unwanted and unattractive that I convinced my best friend to acommpany me to a pub to blow off some steam

 

I met my friend at her Apartments due to the fact that she gave up custody of her two kids and had to move out of her marital home she had most of her evenings free.We arrived at the local pub and I immediately went for the strong stuff to try and drown out my frustrations were as my friend stuck to orange juice(which is surprising considering the fact that she drinks the most between the two of us).

 

As the evening went on there was this guy who kept approaching me,he was gentle in his speech and confident in his words and I won't lie after all the arguments I was coming from this was like a breath of fresh air.To this day I am not sure why but I found myself confiding in a total stranger about the issues in my marriage.

 

As we talked he would comment on how my husband was an idiot for leaving such a beautiful wife in her tome of need ( cheesy and corny ya I know but it seemed to go with the mood) and how there were many men who would jump at the chance to fill his roll..

Me not being in my right mind to realise this total stranger was disrespecting my husband which in turn was disrespecting my marriage  didn't even stop him as he held my hand and moved his chair closer to mine.He then leaned forward but right before his lips got too close I heard a thump and a loud  Crush,and I see him on the floor.

 

I look up to see my best friend behind him,she  stepped over him grabbed my hand and pulled me outside.Whatever alcohol was in my system must of evaporated just from the look she gave me.As soon as we were outside she exploded,she asked how could I be so so stupid and if I realized what I would have jeopardized if she didn't intervene.

 

There was a moment of silence after her initial outburst.She took a deep breath, led me to one out the outside benches and told me the real reason for her divorce.Like me she had was having communication issues in her marriage and due to the constant fighting she found herself confiding in a male co-worker,unfortunately it developed into a 5 month affair. During that time she was crippled guilt but equally as intoxicated with lust, It only ended because her husband found a video of her and her OM in her Facebook messenger. She the look of defeat, shame and anger in her husband's eyes made her realize the gravity of what she had done.

 

She begged him for a second chance, she was willing to do anything to save her marriage and family even to the point of allowing him to sleep with another woman. This only enraged him and he pushed for divorce and full custody of the children with her video as evidence.

She said ever since being exposed   whatever lust or affection she had for her OM disappeared without a trace. She has since blokes him and found another job.

 

She held my hand and told me she has to live with the fact that the only home her children will ever know is a broken one and it came about by her hands..She also added  how no words exist to express the guilt and regret she feels each time she opens her eyes every morning,that she would gladly give a kidney if it meant she could have her family back.

 

She pleaded with me not to be like her, to not go down  a road even remotely similar to hers.  That As long as I have a chance to work on my marriage I should take with both hands and hold on tight

 

It's been 6 years since that night and honestly I can say my marriage has improved greatly, not perfect but improved. We've been blessed with two beautiful twin boys, we don't argue as much but when we do fight we absolutely end it with a kiss  the kiss( my idea ).. I just find it sad that one of the major contributors to the success of my marriage was the failure of my friends

Hi Haileysunshinelady,

Married M who took advantage of Married W are those without integrity & lowest in morals.

Always confide in your H he’s the only person you should trust good or bad.. No marriage is perfect if u have differences sort it out.. I am a Husband myself, i started reading threads to better myself as a person..

Whatever happen your H will fight for you even if his life at stake.. the OM after Sex your just a trophy.. Glad you realize it when its not consumated.

Your friend who strayed & her OM is in deep trouble.. Karmic Justice - “so as you reap u shall sow” will haunt them for life.. The pain they inflicted on her Husband-OPPRESSED reached heaven.. His tears & hurt the “King of Kings” felt too.. in his own words “vengeance is mine”

The spear of pain they trust in his soul will have huge repercussion for both of them.. in addition their children were hurt because of the separation.. 
 

“Thou shall not commit adultery” & “Thou shall not covet other man’s wife” was violated.. Please tell her to be wary of the 4Horseman especially the one in “pale horse”.. He will come & deliver justice.

For her Husband-a lifetime of happiness & peace.. a replacement will come his way 101% better than your friend in all aspects.. 

Do you still get in touch with her ? if the OM is married tell her to inform his wife & ask for forgiveness.. has the OM ask same from his Husband ?

Her exH remarried or in a new relationship? Try asking & u will find out everything i say is happening.. 

Please let me know.. Thank you