mortensorchid Posted December 20, 2019 Posted December 20, 2019 I have a lot of things going on for this holiday season, we're in the middle of a family crisis right now. My sister was diagnosed with colon cancer and her surgery is going to be on the 23rd. Apparently she will be in the hospital for 3 days, perhaps leaving for home on the 26th. The 26th is also my birthday, the 27th is my father's birthday. Me, Mom and Dad are going to be driving back and forth between home and her place (about 30-40 miles away) while she recovers, plus Mom is also getting rather nervous about driving at night (especially a great distance) so I will be assisting. I told her just to forget about Christmas and any festivities for my or Dad's birthday, we'll do it later on when my sister is back to normal. I told my new bf about this, plus he has his own issues of juggling with his kids and the dramas of his ex wife. I told him in a text I might not be around for the next week or so, but I would make time for him eventually. He was happy to hear that. I am trying to keep the communication as open as possible and to let him know that while I may be pulled in this direction, I will try not to avoid or neglect him. He seems to be happy about that. I am doing the right thing, of course, but I am a bit ... Anxious at times. This is a new relationship going into the holiday season, plus I have this deal with my sister's surgery which will cause extra strife with my parents. I'm trying to keep it together, but it's hard. No one wants to be around a sad, depressed or angry person, and I will be hard as a rock and unbreakable. I guess I had to vent.
Blind-Sided Posted December 20, 2019 Posted December 20, 2019 Sorry to hear about the family issues. It's never good to get news of that magnitude, and it's especially rough during the holidays. On one level... you are right. No one wants to be around sad/mad people... but these are extenuating circumstances. I'm sure your new man will understand. AND... since he has kids... I'm sure his holiday will be busy, and will need to focus on them. It was nice of you to make sure you would make time for him... and that offer is probably all he needed for reassurance. Merry Christmas, and sending wishes of a speedy, and full recovery for your sister.
5x5 Posted December 20, 2019 Posted December 20, 2019 (edited) @mortensorchid I'm sorry to read what you and your family are going through. Although I offer no solace, I feel for you. Having just found out on Tuesday, that my wife has breast cancer and she will have her operation near the end of January. All the best for you and yours. Edited December 20, 2019 by 5x5 1
Gaeta Posted December 20, 2019 Posted December 20, 2019 Mortenorshild I am so sorry to hear about your sister, my heart goes to you and your family. Sometimes life happens I am sure your boyfriend is mature enough to understand your circumstances. Yes this is an early relationship but it's not like you met last week, you've had time to connect and grow found of each other in the past 2-3 months. Just keep in touch regularly. You'll be fine. Good luck with everything.
Author mortensorchid Posted December 24, 2019 Author Posted December 24, 2019 Just to update, my sister had her surgery today. They took out 10 centimeters of her colon and it's going to be analyzed by pathology to see what stage it's in. I didn't go because I am teaching online in the early mornings and the money is rolling in with it. I will go down to see her on the 24th and spend Christmas Day with her and Mom and Dad. She will be checked out either on the 25th or 26th. The 26th is my birthday and the 27th is my dad's birthday. I told my mom we could just forget about it and put it off until my sister is in a better state. She's also supposed to get married in October of next year but that will be postponed most likely depending on her recovery. She'll have a c bag for about 6 months and if it's reversible they will reattach. Plus there's chemo to consider as well. It'll be okay...
BaileyB Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 Just sending you a hug. Be with your family, love them. Try to take one day at a time...
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 I am in a similar situation MO. I just flew to US from Australia with my mum and dad so that dad can get the best possible cancer treatment. I am now spending all my time in a small apartment, in a middle of nowhere suburb in SoCal. There is not even a small supermarket for miles and it's raining every day... Hope your sister recovers fast from the surgery.
rightondude Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 so sorry to hear this. Hope the best for your sister. Be there for your family, your time spent with them during this time is invaluable. 5x5, my thoughts are with you as well. My mom just had her mastectomy last week. F Cancer.
smackie9 Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 (edited) Wow so sorry M. I hope your sister can pull through..I'm sure your sister would like to not think about things for a day, ....just once and celebrate as a family...you know some normalcy. Just think how guilty/bad she would feel knowing everything is canceled because of her....I don't think she would want that. Don't treat her like she's on a death sentence, treat her like a survivor. Edited December 24, 2019 by smackie9
FMW Posted December 25, 2019 Posted December 25, 2019 So sorry for this difficult time for your family. These are the times that make you realize how lucky you are to have each other. Sending positive thoughts your way
Author mortensorchid Posted December 26, 2019 Author Posted December 26, 2019 She pulled through just fine. She came home early today (the 25th) and she is in good spirits. Only has trouble getting up and sitting down. We'll know in a few days/weeks what stage it's in and what will be done next (chemo, radiation, etc.). And the bf texted me today to wish me a Merry Christmas. He had his kids today and had relatives over for dinner. It's my birthday tomorrow, perhaps he will see on Facebook. 1
VIOLET EDEN Posted December 26, 2019 Posted December 26, 2019 1 hour ago, mortensorchid said: She pulled through just fine. She came home early today (the 25th) and she is in good spirits. Only has trouble getting up and sitting down. We'll know in a few days/weeks what stage it's in and what will be done next (chemo, radiation, etc.). And the bf texted me today to wish me a Merry Christmas. He had his kids today and had relatives over for dinner. It's my birthday tomorrow, perhaps he will see on Facebook. Hope the rest of her recovery goes well. I think you should have some sense of normalcy with your sister and celebrate a little of Christmas, i am sure the whole family, especially your sister need the cheering up
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