Drivetildriven Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 As my ex was breaking up with me, she asked if I could email her a few pics of us at the Air Force Ball. I said I would. So a week later I decided that I would take it a step further and put together a picture CD of every picture I had of us from the last three years. Of course I wanted to show her all of the amazing and wonderful times we've had and all the friends, my family, and the love that she is giving up. Anyway, I mailed it to her and a few days later she said that she got it and thanked me, in an email. Then a month later she sent me another quick email saying she finally got through looking at all the pictures, said it was nice and thanked me again. Out of weakness I looked at her AOL profile last week. Two of the pictures that were on her profile were pretty sexy. They were pictures that I had taken of her, that were included on the picture CD! That really F'd me up. So, I'd like to send her a quick email saying something like... "Hey, for whatever reason I looked up your AOL profile. I regret giving you that picture CD. Those pics were for you. If I would have known that you were going to use any of those pictures to profile yourself to every AOL surfing guy in the world, I would have never wasted the time making it for you. Regards. " So what do you think? Should I send it? She can't email me back because I've had her address blocked for the last two months, and I'm certain she won't call. She's 24, I'm 27, we dated for three years, she broke up with me 4 months ago for typical reasons, mainly issues, immaturity and a whorish desire to "date" other guys. Thanks for any advise
Art_Critic Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 My 2 cents worth is this.. Act like a grown up man and do nothing.. You gave her the pictures and they are hers to do with as she pleases. By sending her a note with " I regret giving you that picture CD. Those pics were for you " you are acting like a childish fool . Get on with your life and as hard as it is stop looking at her profile
In Sync Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 Please don't send the e-mail...it's childish and won't put you in a good light to react so petty. You gave her the CD of pics, what she choses to do with them is her biz. You want her in your life let her make her own choices. Sending that e-mail will put her off. You'll create less suffering for yourself by just being ok with what happens. Sounds simple to say but suffering comes from wanting to control the actions of the ones we want in our lives.
francis Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 This response only shows her the following; a) that after four months, you are still hung up on her, checking her AOL profile, maudling over her, pining over her b) that you are still experiencing feelings of anger and bitterness towards her c) that you have nothing better to do than dwell on feelings of regret and unhappiness Pick yourself up off the floor, dust yourself down, hold your head up high and get on with your life. It looks like she has. Remember, your dignity and pride. Emailing her like this looks weak and pathetic. Do yourself a favour and move on to bigger and better things. Channel any anger you may have towards her in a different way. The consequences of this email will only worsen the situation between you and your ex. Don't waste any more of your time.
Scott S Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 So what do you think? Should I send it? I wouldn't if I were you. You seem like you're doing a good job of moving on with your life, up until now, anyway. Sending an e-mail like that would make you look petty, vindictive, & possibly obsessed. I would advise you to forget you ever saw the profile, but I know that's not possible.
Author Drivetildriven Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 You're all right, I won't send that email. She's gone from being a happy, loving, ideal, princes of a woman while we were dating, to an even happier, promiscuous bed hopper since we've been separated. I wouldn't be surprised if she was on drugs. Those sexy poses were for me. I sure as hell wouldn't use pics she took of me for the same purpose, but then again, I don't surf the internet looking for dates. It's like knowing the one you love is slowly dying of cancer and there's not a damn thing you can do. Just chaps my ass. Thanks for setting me straight
In Sync Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 She's gone from being a happy, loving, ideal, princes of a woman while we were dating, to an even happier, promiscuous bed hopper since we've been separated. I wouldn't be surprised if she was on drugs. Those sexy poses were for me. uh, by the way..these remarks seem a little angry towards someone you want in your life and went out of your way to do a favor for. What's going underneathe with you? Focusing and judging her actions takes away from your own hurt and moving away from this relationship. Be a gentleman and walk away with style and grace. Think about what will make you happy in your life not what is making her happy in her life.
Author Drivetildriven Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 Looking at her profile was a mistake for sure, but nothing more than a short term relapse in recovery. I'm dating a stripper right now. Definitely not a bring home to mom type, but she's a fun girl, so I'm moving on, inch by inch. It's also a typical quagmire in that I want her back, but I can't take her back, for a laundry list of reasons that boil down to trust on many levels. Lord knows I still love her, which is why it so freaking difficult knowing that she's F-ing almost any dude that gives her attention.
Art_Critic Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 she's F-ing almost any dude that gives her attention. you sound like you are well on your way to moving on .. But on a side note ..Isn't that what a stripper does ? .. Do you see a parallel ? What is good for the goose is supposed to be good for the gander
Author Drivetildriven Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 Good point, however, believe it or not this is one area where I am not a hypocrite. I'm not having intercourse with my stripper chick.
BadBadGirl Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 don't call her out. these are her own images, she can do with them as she pleases. they may be sexy, but i am sure you have done sex-related things with other people that you have also done with her, even if it's sex itself. these memories and images are only intimately related when the intimacy is still there...and it's not there anymore, so for her, it's just an unattached image of her own self. let it go. you're dating a stripper now anyway, which i don't fully understand given your attachment to sexual imagery, but okay.
Author Drivetildriven Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 Ha! I don't go to the club that often, but they're free. As for the AOL pics, don't get me wrong they're not too risqué, I mean it is AOL. But I'm sure your're right that she sees them as an, "unattached image of her own self." And that sucks.
Scott S Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 Good point, however, believe it or not this is one area where I am not a hypocrite. I'm not having intercourse with my stripper chick. I believe you are both in a rebound, of sorts. Especially you. Please keep that in mind, & hopefully you won't do anything you'll regret later.
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