CantDecide... Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 well guys i went from pretty good about everything,to bad again. im not to sure why really. ive been talking to other girls..have a few mini crushes. i dont talk to my ex at all...she imed me the other night about a song i needed on cd...i was not really friendly. but im not to sure whats been bugging me. it started happening like sat morning. last night however i wentto her myspcae and saw a comment from the guy she hooked up with in front of me(read thread last night couldnt have been worse) saying hey im gladi could stop by ur house with every1 get ungrounded quick so we can chill more. herresponse to him was "hey u" aww thanks you so much for stopping by iot was so nice to see u guys.u actyually cheered me up a bit. andi dunno from that im kind of assuming somethingis going on. i dont know why its bugging me so much this whole month weve barely talked. i thought i was doing ok. now i just wantto send her an IM or something and say hey. not to pour my heart out just talk. im just so confused and thought NC was working. and i just dont understand ive been talking to tons of girls latly, friday im going to a party and i have like a planned hook up. i should be happy but im not. I know i shouldnt be going to her myspace, i know its fudal...a good part of me has let go, but theres still part of me holding on. and i know thats the part which is causing me pain. i gues im just really confused and just want to IM her to say hey, but i know if i do she has all the power back, becasue i initiated NC..hmmph, i gues NC is still theway to go. i just thought i was doing so well, i gues it was all a mask
Painwraith Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 Dont do this to yourself. keep the NC, go outside have a short walk and take some long deep breaths. youll feel better. the more yousit there mulling the worst youll feel.
georgiagirl76 Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 It is totally natural for you to be feeling confused and hurt and wanting to talk to her. However, I do caution you in contacting her. One of the reasons that NC isn't working for you is that you really aren't practicing strict NC. NC means- absolutely no contact. Don't im her or ask about her or talk to your friends to get information about her. You stated that she imed you and you talked. It doesn't matter if you were nice to her or not- you still had contact. By going to her myspace page you are still actively engaging in her life and it will slow your healing process down. I am not trying to be harsh I am just telling you that if you continue to engage with her you are going to continue to delay your healing. Good Luck
Author CantDecide... Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 i know you guys are very right...i am an idiot for going to her page...it does nothing postive...i just gota be stronger. iits just wierd how i can have so many psotove things going for me..school, finances, a lot of other woman but i still miss her. but i know what i have to do is not go to her page. i have taken her out of my phone book, off my Bl of my actual friends list on myspace. i just gota be stronger. I decided that instead of sitting home 2 nite and inevidable end up calling her im going to go out to a club. some people invited me last night, ive never been before so im hoping it will be somethingto keep me busy grrr this sucks though, i gota start practricing what i preach, i give advice like everyday, but i dont follow my own advice
brooke7777 Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 I feel your pain. I too am struggling with the whole NC thing. I was doing ok for a while, not good, but ok, and then bam this weekend hit and all I wanted to do was to call him up. Just to say hi...anything, just to hear his voice. It's still hard for me to go out to bars/clubs, I don't think I'm quite ready for that scence. Plus I haven't been out since I was 21 either without him or without coming home to him. I hate the whole fluctaution of feelings that it sounds like we are both experiencing. It's so frustrating to feel ok one day and then to feel like total crap the next.
Author CantDecide... Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 well for me ill feel awesome for say 2 weeks, then ill feel like crap...then good, then bad. i never have just one good day and i never have just one bad day, there always for periods of time. its tuff sometimes buty ou and i have to remember were the ones on this site hurting there the ones doing there own thing...we should be more like them, and get out and do stuff, instead of sitting around mopping.
Painwraith Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 it comes in waves. its horrid when it does but ride the wave, as I said go out for a walk and get over it. trust me it works
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