Medication Taper and Dating

[OatsAndHall]

1 hour ago, Finding my way said:

 

That's completely understandable.  And that's why it's not something you need to share early on in a relationship.    

 

I assume further down the road though you will to know if this woman is one of those that will judge you before you invest more of your time/emotion with her.  I certainly wouldn't want to be with someone that I had to hide things from. 

 

So you just have to figure out what the best time for YOU is to bring it up.  We're all just throwing out our thoughts on opinions for consideration, hopefully some of it will help.  

 

 

It has all been helpful, thank you. I will admit, it takes me awhile before I let anyone into that part of my world. I've had plenty of people in my life who've been understanding; those that haven't make me wary.

[thecrucible]

@OatsAndHall - Just to say I know what you mean re: telling people and them assuming things about you so I understand where you're coming from. I have anxiety too. The only thing I can suggest is that there should be a time when you know it's right to tell and I would surely think anyone mature enough wouldn't think it's a big deal if you don't. Fingers crossed it'll work out okay for you.

[LivingWaterPlease]

OatsAndHall, I'm in the camp of advising your new gf as to what you're going through. Taking klonopin and withdrawing from it are both common experiences. She'll be helpful to you and it will help her to understand you better. I have a close friend who's a nurse in a very responsible position, is on it herself and would like to get off of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[OatsAndHall]

16 hours ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

OatsAndHall, I'm in the camp of advising your new gf as to what you're going through. Taking klonopin and withdrawing from it are both common experiences. She'll be helpful to you and it will help her to understand you better. I have a close friend who's a nurse in a very responsible position, is on it herself and would like to get off of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, the benzos (Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin, etc..) are widely prescribed here in the states. Unfortunately, many doctors don't understand just how difficult it is to come off of it, even if you've only taken it for a short time. I'm going to have to slow my roll with my taper as it can make work difficult. I was cutting down weekly but I am going to have to dial that back to a bimonthly schedule or work is going to be miserable.

 

I did end up talking to my girlfriend about it and got a mixed response, initially. Her ex-husband was/is a drug addict so my bringing it up spooked her at first. But, she took some time to process it, apologized for being spooky (I told her she didn't need to apologize) and we've moved forward. I've had a couple of difficult bouts since then but I don't bring it up and play it down if she asks; I don't feel the need to burden her with it. But, she's been understanding when I've asked for some relaxed nights in and I'm happy. I only do so if I'm really feeling like garbage though.

[alphamale]

OAH, benzos are HIGHLY ADDICTIVE and I think that most doctors know that.  Some doctors won't prescribe them.  They are as addictive as crack and opioids and nicotiine.  I took Zanax for almost ten year, near the end I was taking 5mg a day.  In the end I quit cold turkey (in a hospital setting) and was getting more anxiety from the benzos than anything else

[smackie9]

Well at least she will know why you tell her "Not tonight, I had a bad day." and not take it personally.

[OatsAndHall]

On 12/27/2019 at 4:49 PM, alphamale said:

OAH, benzos are HIGHLY ADDICTIVE and I think that most doctors know that.  Some doctors won't prescribe them.  They are as addictive as crack and opioids and nicotiine.  I took Zanax for almost ten year, near the end I was taking 5mg a day.  In the end I quit cold turkey (in a hospital setting) and was getting more anxiety from the benzos than anything else

 

@alphamale:Yeah, I was on 3mgs of Klonopin and now I'm almost down to 2mgs. IME, most doctor's know that they're addictive but they don't understand just how hard it is to come off of them. A doctor didn't believe me when I told him that a .125mg reduction was causing me some gnarly withdrawal symptoms. I asked him for a script of hydroxyzine (a ramped up version of benadryl for those that don't know what the medication is) to help sleep and he refused because it wasn't "medically necessary". Pretty ridiculous; the guy was willing to prescribe me 2.5mgs of Klonopin but not a relatively harmless anti-histamine to let me sleep. So, I told him that I would just take benadryl instead and he got b-tchy and said that it was either "all in my head or a return of my insomnia which means I need Klonopin."

 

@smackie9: That's pretty much how it came up. I was feeling fine during one of our nights together but started having "uncomfortable" muscle spasms out of the blue. My doctor gave me a small script of muscle relaxants in case that happened, I popped one and wasn't "up to the task". I figured I'd better come clean after that.

[K.K.]

On 12/27/2019 at 6:49 PM, alphamale said:

OAH, benzos are HIGHLY ADDICTIVE and I think that most doctors know that.  Some doctors won't prescribe them.  They are as addictive as crack and opioids and nicotiine.  I took Zanax for almost ten year, near the end I was taking 5mg a day.  In the end I quit cold turkey (in a hospital setting) and was getting more anxiety from the benzos than anything else

It depends on what doctor you get. My doc’s not cool about prescribing these things, but I have an acquaintance that gets whatever she wants/needs from a different doc. 

I take a small dose of Ativan when I need it because I have uncontrollable anxiety sometimes. Getting it though is pulling teeth because he doesn’t want to refill it since it’s addicting. I can manage to get a refill here and there but only if I go into the office acting like a deranged nutcase. Shaking and wild eyed. Yes, it’s dishonest but it works. If I appeared calm, I’d be out of luck. 

Oats and Hall- the hydroxyzine you spoke of, you didn’t miss much. It does nothing that benedryl doesn’t do. Basically puts you to sleep. I don’t get your doctor’s reasoning in denying you that. 

Alphamale - Comgrats on getting off the Xanax. Xanax usually just put me to sleep too. So does Ativan really. I haven’t noticed any withdrawal symptoms from it because I don’t take it regularly. Trust me, if I could get it regularly I would. But it’s funny you said the benzodiazepines were giving you more anxiety because I started to notice that at work. When I’d take one, I’d be even more anxious. I thought that was a fluke. Maybe not. I’m on leave now so I don’t take them as much at all. Some days though, I can barely force myself to walk outside and to the car... or the trash bin.. or even down the steps. People don’t understand this. 

Funny thing is, when the s*** hits the fan and there is a crisis- I’m the strongest, most levelheaded, calm person in the situation. 

Do you guys relate to that part? 

I may be scared to even open the front door on a daily basis but when it comes to being ready for action- I’m a warrior. 

[alphamale]

7 minutes ago, K.K. said:

 People don’t understand this. 

 

I totally understand, I live it everyday

[K.K.]

1 minute ago, alphamale said:

I totally understand, I live it everyday

Me too, man. Meeee too. I hear you loud and clear. ((((Alphamale))) hugs

[OatsAndHall]

@K.K.:  The hydroxyzine is a life saver for me when I'm dealing with benzo withdrawal. It comes in some pretty high doses and it either puts me out so I can sleep or it brings me back to reality. And, a script of 90 pills runs me $5 which is way cheaper than even generic benadryl. This is the only doctor that has fought me on it too; the rest of them expect me to ask for another benzo (which I HATE) so they're relived when I ask for hydroxyzine.

And, yes, if you take any benzo long enough (even sparingly) you'll build a tolerance and it'll actually jack up your anxiety level significantly when you take it. You're basically going through withdrawal when you take it because your GABA receptors have dulled down and they need a higher dose to get the same affect. I actually feel much calmer when the I make it through a taper and allow myself to stabilize a bit. I feel much calmer on smaller doses. I hate the Klonopin because, throughout the years, it makes me tired and anxious; a bad combo.

I'm the same way; a friggin' machine when it comes to super stressful situations. I get stuff done, I'm focused and power my way through. I'm a head football coach and I think and move fast on the fly come game day. But, it doesn't take many "little things" (parents complaining, an administrator getting on my nerves, etc..) to make me anxious and irritable.

[K.K.]

2 minutes ago, OatsAndHall said:

@K.K.:  The hydroxyzine is a life saver for me when I'm dealing with benzo withdrawal. It comes in some pretty high doses and it either puts me out so I can sleep or it brings me back to reality. And, a script of 90 pills runs me $5 which is way cheaper than even generic benadryl. This is the only doctor that has fought me on it too; the rest of them expect me to ask for another benzo (which I HATE) so they're relived when I ask for hydroxyzine.

Wow I’ll have to keep that in mind. Mine are only 25mg but I wasn’t impressed. I can see where they may help with a withdrawal though. See? My doctor is always pushing them on me and yours won’t. How does that even make sense, why would they rather you be on another benzo? Maybe they get some kind of kick back 

And, yes, if you take any benzo long enough (even sparingly) you'll build a tolerance and it'll actually jack up your anxiety level significantly when you take it. You're basically going through withdrawal when you take it because your GABA receptors have dulled down and they need a higher dose to get the same affect. I actually feel much calmer when the I make it through a taper and allow myself to stabilize a bit. I feel much calmer on smaller doses. I hate the Klonopin because, throughout the years, it makes me tired and anxious; a bad combo.

Yes, I had started noticing this right before I went on leave that I was even more anxious when I took them. Now it makes sense

I'm the same way; a friggin' machine when it comes to super stressful situations. I get stuff done, I'm focused and power my way through. I'm a head football coach and I think and move fast on the fly come game day. But, it doesn't take many "little things" (parents complaining, an administrator getting on my nerves, etc..) to make me anxious and irritable.

Yes exactly! It’s as if we spend every day so anxiety ridden that when an actual crisis comes, BAM the world slows down, the heart palpitations stop and it’s game on! 

But let me have to go check the mail and it’s almost impossible. 

That’s incredible that you’re able to be a football coach! Wow! 

I have noticed that the more I try to put things off and hide away in the house, the worse my anxiety gets. I start thinking too much and it’s all over  

 

[Piddy]

Tell her what you think you need to tell her.   Being a nurse she'll empathize more than most people.  I was diagnosed with what was called situational anxiety years ago.  Xanax was FDA approved in 1981 and I was prescribed it in 1983. 

I was on it for 3 years and basically went off it cold turkey.  The withdrawal symptoms weren't pleasant, but tolerable for me.  Only took a few weeks.  For many years I then only took it when I needed it.  Like I said my anxiety was situational and I could basically anticipate it. 

So I would only take it when I needed it.  I worked in a highly stressed environment and it was a life saver for me.  It made my work life functional.  It's a shame that mental illness is still stigmatized. Any other illness and you'd have no problem telling her about it.

  Again, disclose what you feel you want to.  Being in the medical field she should have more compassion than most people.   

Edited December 29, 2019 by Piddy

[Piddy]

10 hours ago, K.K. said:

 Funny thing is, when the s*** hits the fan and there is a crisis- I’m the strongest, most levelheaded, calm person in the situation. 

Do you guys relate to that part? 

I may be scared to even open the front door on a daily basis but when it comes to being ready for action- I’m a warrior. 

It seems adrenaline calms you down.  The adrenaline must override the anxiety.  

Edited December 29, 2019 by Piddy

[K.K.]

3 hours ago, Piddy said:

It seems adrenaline calms you down.  The adrenaline must override the anxiety.  

I guess that’s it. It’s so funny though.. your house on fire? I’m your girl! I’ll save you! Car wreck- best believe I’m going to get you out! Mad man chasing you? Consider him already dead. Pssshhh ..

You want me to have an actual conversation with the cashier at the 7-11 ?Uh... no. Just no. Nooooooo 

 

[Piddy]

1 hour ago, K.K. said:

I guess that’s it. It’s so funny though.. your house on fire? I’m your girl! I’ll save you! Car wreck- best believe I’m going to get you out! Mad man chasing you? Consider him already dead. Pssshhh ..

You want me to have an actual conversation with the cashier at the 7-11 ?Uh... no. Just no. Nooooooo 

 

Do you think it's gotten better, worse or the same as you get older?  Mine has got better as I've aged.  I have no problem engaging one on one now.  Had some nice banter with the bag girl at Publix grocery store yesterday.  Irrational fear is tough to overcome though.  I did notice once I retired mine got better.  

It is weird isn't it?  I mean you have this vibrant, outgoing, funny persona on the internet, yet in person you're a scared little rabbit.  Unless of course someones house is on fire.   But I do know exactly how you feel.   It's no fun dealing with it.  I can empathize with you.   

[K.K.]

Mine has gotten worse as I’ve aged. That’s because there’s too many stage 5 clingers that always seem to want my attention and it gets annoying and scary to have to even speak with them. 

Don’t get it twisted,  Piddy. I’m just as vibrant and funny in real life lol. (Thank you?) Around people that I know. I’m no scared rabbit. I don’t really put up with anybody’s s***, that’s why I don’t like to engage. They lack common sense and manners. 

I can talk to cashiers when they’re somewhat human. When they say good morning. When they have manners, I return the favor. I can go out of my way to listen to their stories about their grandkids not visiting or some s*** and do it showing actual interest. They appreciate it, and it’s all good. 

Or they can be like the rude bitch cashier at the grocery store this morning who wouldn’t utter a word although I went out of my way to speak. I told her to find another job that makes her happy if she doesn’t want to do this one. She stared at me. I told her to go f*** herself. 

Either way they want it. 

I have anxiety issues stemming from the many whack jobs I’ve met along the way and the knowledge that there’s many many more of them out there. 

I’m no scared rabbit. 

[OatsAndHall]

I've been an anxious individual since I was very little. Some of it's nature, some of it's nurture but I had my first anxiety attack when I was 6 or 7 years old. Some of it is social anxiety, some of it is good ol' fashioned GAD. Unfortunately, I developed bad coping skills at a young age; I realized that many social situations brought out the worst in my anxiety so I hid away from most people growing up. I was lucky in that I met a great group of friends in my high school years and became a far more social person because of it. But, the anxiety disorder has always lingered (more so than depression) and it's taken me years to fully get a grasp on it.

I'm hoping that I can live psycho-tropic free once I get off of the Klonopin but we will see when that time comes around. Five years ago, I found out I had an issue with my pituitary gland and that it was throwing my hormones out of whack. I have since dealt with the hormone issue and my anxiety level has plummeted significantly. As such, I am hoping that I can simply maintain my hormone balance, continue to eat right, exercise, meditate and use healthy coping skills to manage my anxiety levels. And, although I enjoy teaching and I am good at it, a career change may be in order down the road as the stresses from the job pile up on me.

[preraph]

Glad you found out what was upsetting your balance.  Hormones can be dealt with.  They have whole clinics devoted to bio-hormones that really get down to the nitty gritty and design a hormone application (cream or such) specifically to your needs.  

[K.K.]

Hey um... oats and hall (hall and oats were awesome by the way!)  I’m sorry if I interrupted your thread with my post today.

Piddy... I’m sorry if I was harsh up there. You called me a scared rabbit.  that hit hard man. Im not. I’m sorry though. Please forgive me. 

Thats why I don’t usually tell people about my anxiety or much else in general. 

Sorry for my little outburst. 

 

 

[Piddy]

2 hours ago, K.K. said:

Hey um... oats and hall (hall and oats were awesome by the way!)  I’m sorry if I interrupted your thread with my post today.

Piddy... I’m sorry if I was harsh up there. You called me a scared rabbit.  that hit hard man. Im not. I’m sorry though. Please forgive me. 

Thats why I don’t usually tell people about my anxiety or much else in general. 

Sorry for my little outburst. 

 

 

Just a case of me misinterpreting.  We're all good. 

[K.K.]

Thank you, Piddy. 

[OatsAndHall]

20 hours ago, preraph said:

Glad you found out what was upsetting your balance.  Hormones can be dealt with.  They have whole clinics devoted to bio-hormones that really get down to the nitty gritty and design a hormone application (cream or such) specifically to your needs.  

Thank you.

 

Yeah, getting my hormones back in sync has been a live saver for me; emotionally and physically. It's something that I recommend anyone who is struggling with anxiety or depression take a look into. Get a hormone panel done and see if something isn't right as it can really screw with one's mental state.