GuySimple Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 I need some advice. My wife and I have been living in separate rooms in the house for the past few weeks. Her idea. Now our daughter is coming home for the weekend from school (I’m in her room). My wife has suggested that we move back into the same bed while she is home so we don’t have to tell her about our marital problems. She doesn’t think she can handle it, yet. I think I have a problem with this. Firstly, I don’t like deceiving our daughter like that. Secondly, I don’t like the idea of moving back when I’m not really wanted. Part of me is saying suck it up and move back for the good of the family. But, part of me is saying no (this would be the stubborn part). For those not familiar with my situation my wife decided a few weeks ago that she didn’t love me anymore. I guess that would be her way of dealing with things as she said she felt that way for a couple of years. Loves me as a father but maybe not as a husband. I worry that the “act” that will be put on for our daughter will come back to haunt us someday.
Razorback05 Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 Dude, it could be alot worse. At this point, I would just go with the flow and maybe even put some moves on the misses.
Mz. Pixie Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 At this point, I say move back in. You're still trying to win your wife over to your way of thinking so a D is not necessary. Did you get Winning back your wife yet???? I wouldn't upset the daughter until it's a done deal.
Art_Critic Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 I think you should move back in.. It's not deceiving your daughter.. It is protecting her. You should do what you can to protect her at this point.. If it was more final then the best way to protect her would be to share the information about the divorce with her.
Author GuySimple Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 I read the article about winning back my wife. I’m not sure it helped a whole lot though. To this point she has refused to play along with anything like counseling etc. The easiest way to describe her now is that she is in some sort of holding pattern. Doesn’t want to do anything. She has simply disclosed that we are not working and she doesn’t think we ever will. But, I think she is very afraid of going the next step. It almost seems like it is some sort of depression. What may have complicated things is that our daughter went away to school this year and things haven’t been 100% prefect for her. There has been a long adjustment phase (home sickness etc.). This has been difficult on my wife. Now for us, we hadn’t been getting along that great before but within the week or so of my daughter leaving my wife disclosed that she didn’t think we were working. What I don’t understand is that with me, I want to draw closer to deal with our daughter’s situation. However, my wife seems to deal with the stress internally. At this point I think the best thing for me to do is back-off and give her space. But I'm not sure.
portableversion Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 the purpose of marriage is to provide a safe and financially solvent environment for the children. Nothing more nothing less. Marriage isn't about 'fulfillment, ****ing or fun'. Call me old-fashioned, but you should 'keep up appearances' for your daughter.
whichwayisup Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 I think right now moving back into the room would be a good thing. It's too early to let your daughter know what's been going on. Kids shouldn't have to stress out about whether or not their folks split up until the decision is more or less made. But then again, on the flip side, HOW old is your daughter? Kids get to a certain age where they want to know what's going on and don't like to be sheltered. Also, that way they're not in total shock and don't see it coming. Tough choice, but yeah, for now just move back into the bedroom. Who knows, maybe this actually will be good for you and your wife. To talk, to atleast be beside eachother and be close...
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