Girlfriend is lying about going to sleep?

[Tacoguy94]

My girlfriend and I would be texting and she would say "I'm falling asleep, I'll sleep now" so she says goodnight and stops replying. However, one time after she did this, I logged onto our Netflix account and noticed she was watching something. The next day I asked her about it and she said she was sleeping, so I let it go that time but I told her that if she needs to do something she can just say "hey I'll do this and go to sleep, goodnight" instead of lying. This time she said the same thing that she's "very tired and can't keep her eyes open" and now I noticed her replying to posts on social media 10 minutes after that. I honestly don't understand why she does that especially when I caught her before and told her that it's fine if she wants to do something else she could just say that. Also my ex girlfriend would say "I'll be on instagram for a while until I fall asleep" and it never bothered me but the lying does bother me. Thoughts?

[introverted1]

25 minutes ago, Tacoguy94 said:

 I caught her before and told her that it's fine if she wants to do something else she could just say that.

 

I feel like I've seen this post before.

 

And the idea of "catching" her implies you are watching her.

 

Do you expect her to devote all her awake hours to texting you, so she feels she has to make up an excuse so she can have time to do her own thing? 

[d0nnivain]

28 minutes ago, Tacoguy94 said:

Thoughts?

 

 

This is why our technological ability to know what somebody else is doing is troublesome. It causes this type of angst in SOs.  

 

Chalk it up to word choices.  When she says I'm "sleepy now" or anything like that you need to hear "I'm done talking to you."   She simply wants to end the conversation & she thinks this phrase does so politely.   If she said what you say you would be OK hearing "I'm going to go watch Netflix" or "update my IG" you claim that would be fine because it was the truth.  But given the way you are over-reacting here, you wouldn't be fine.  You'd be like 'Oh, lemme watch with you" or "don't do that, keep interacting with me".   You want the attention even when you are doing stuff as inane & time wasting as texting back & forth.  Texting is draining.  At some point it needs to stop & she has probably figured out when she uses sleep as an excuse you give her some peace but when she says she wants to do anything else you keep pestering her.  

 

If she said I'm going to sleep & the next thing you see is posts of her out in a club, that would be a problem, possibly break up worthy but for her to put a stop to a lengthy pointless text exchange in favor of other things she can do alone in bed, stop making a big deal out of it.  

[schlumpy]

It could be that she means that you are putting her to sleep but I find it revealing that she feels she can just blow you off like that. When a woman loses interest she shows it in the small things within the relationship.

[GoreSP]

Yeah I’ve used this excuse to stop the continuous texting.  I really hate it but some people just don’t stop. 

 

i think you need to have a conversation with her about this but keep an open mind. 

[Tacoguy94]

2 hours ago, introverted1 said:

 

I feel like I've seen this post before.

 

And the idea of "catching" her implies you are watching her.

 

Do you expect her to devote all her awake hours to texting you, so she feels she has to make up an excuse so she can have time to do her own thing? 

Not at all? Like I said, my ex would tell me she'd be on instagram/fb/whatever and I didn't mind if she wanted to do something else. Also she was out all day yesterday with her friend and I didn't mind. I didn't text her the whole time she was out, until she texted me; so no I don't expect her to "devote" all her awake hours to texting me or even to me.

2 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

 

 

This is why our technological ability to know what somebody else is doing is troublesome. It causes this type of angst in SOs.  

 

Chalk it up to word choices.  When she says I'm "sleepy now" or anything like that you need to hear "I'm done talking to you."   She simply wants to end the conversation & she thinks this phrase does so politely.   If she said what you say you would be OK hearing "I'm going to go watch Netflix" or "update my IG" you claim that would be fine because it was the truth.  But given the way you are over-reacting here, you wouldn't be fine.  You'd be like 'Oh, lemme watch with you" or "don't do that, keep interacting with me".   You want the attention even when you are doing stuff as inane & time wasting as texting back & forth.  Texting is draining.  At some point it needs to stop & she has probably figured out when she uses sleep as an excuse you give her some peace but when she says she wants to do anything else you keep pestering her.  

 

If she said I'm going to sleep & the next thing you see is posts of her out in a club, that would be a problem, possibly break up worthy but for her to put a stop to a lengthy pointless text exchange in favor of other things she can do alone in bed, stop making a big deal out of it.  

I think you could be right if I had gotten mad or upset before for that. Like, if she told me before "I'll watch Netflix" and I got upset then I believe you would be right. However, every time she has told me she was gonna watch a show or a movie I was fine with it. I would say "okay" and stop texting her until she texted me.

[smackie9]

It's just a polite way to say "I'm done talking with you, and I want to do something else". Let it go and stop checking up on what she does or it will drive yourself bat $%^& cray cray. If she changes her mind and decides to watch a movie or do whatever, that's her business and none of yours. That's her private time. TBH she shouldn't have to tell you what she is "going to do".

[Versacehottie]

I agree with smackie.  I think although you've given her the freedom to tell her that she wants to stop texting and do her own thing, maybe she resents having to say that in order to get off the texting cycle.  Or also maybe she just doesn't know "exactly" what she will do next or lumps getting sleepy/going to bed in with winding down with a movie or some social media time.  It's really no big deal either way--unless you are trying to make it one, which goes back to maybe you are being too sensitive about it.

 

I will just say that as women a lot of us are conditioned not to be so blunt and err on the side of not offending someone, i.e. to tell you that she wants to reply to less important people than you on social media or watch some mindless movie is something she doesn't want to "hurt" you or offend you or be so blunt as to say that.  Lots of us do that.  Lots of guys don't--though some do.  Some people just want their private time and the best part about it is not having to answer to anyone. IMO, don't take that away from her---it's probably just how she is.  Honestly, she really could just know she wants to do some random "alone" things but hasn't processed what exactly until she gets off the phone/done texting with you thus she can't tell you upfront what it is she will be doing next cause it's not on her mind specifically.  I do that all the time.  Ok good luck

[kendahke]

I take it you've never fallen asleep watching TV? 

 

Why do you automatically reach for her lying?  Is she a liar, generally, or are you being a little bit too extra?  If she *is* a liar, then why are you wasting your youth behind a liar?

 

This isn't anything like a hill to die on unless you're just precious by nature.  If a guy I was dating tried to fling this in my teeth, he'd be my ex by the time I'd put the phone down.

[fromheart]

Maybe she's masturbating, maybe she looks at her phone before going to bed.

Why are you checking up on her?  If you didn't you wouldn't have to worry.  You had a nice conversation, she wished you goodnight.  Stop looking for drama!

[Eternal Sunshine]

I feel suffocated just from reading the opening post.