Yardy Posted December 15, 2019 Posted December 15, 2019 I’ve recently known this girl through a friend and we’ve gone out for a couple of drinks. She seems very reserved but her texts can be a bit cheeky. Whenever we meet, I’ve always given her a big hug with a tight squeeze which she seems to like, but she’s never reached out to touch my arm or hand when we’re together. She recently came back from a holiday and bought me a special men’s face care product, and I was telling her it felt really good on my skin, hoping she’d reach out to touch my face to feel it but she just stood close and kept staring at my face, which I ended up holding her hand to my face instead, and she didn’t pull away. When she left, I gave her another tight hug and stuck out my cheek asking her for a kiss, which she did. I’m not sure how else to break / escalate the touch barrier with someone so introverted/reserved (somehow I get drawn by such girls).
Penguin_hugs Posted December 15, 2019 Posted December 15, 2019 It can take me a while til I am really comfortable with someone to be touchy feely- it doesn't come naturally with me. I remember how the touch barrier was broken with my BF- on our 2nd official date. I'd just been attempting to play the ukelele and had calluses and sore spots on my fingers. He plays a lot of guitar so he reached for my hand to touch my callouses and massaged my fingertips. And it all started from that... 2 hrs later we were kissing on my sofa I'd say the key is just small gentle introductions to touching. A hand graze when you pass something at the table- leading to holding hands at the table etc. I was an awkward one with touch to begin with- but now- 2 yrs later me and my BF and all over each other!
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted December 15, 2019 Posted December 15, 2019 For me, I usually keep pressing the issue until she puts up some sort of boundary for me to abide by. Being reserved can be frustrating. so when the chance to release the tension comes, it is usually nice, just do not be overtly sexual before you two are comfortable with each other... Like don't be trying to cop a feel before you two have even kissed or are showing physical affection on a regular basis. You can set up different frames with a woman to help you operate better as well, like for example, a good frame to set up is to tell a woman that you are shy, then that way when you go for it, she'll be a little more resistant to reeling back. Entering the shy frame with women who want to be pressed upon is not good, but this situation sounds like the type that I would employ this frame in. Even saying, "You know, I am a bit shy, but I am going to try and be more physical with you" is ok, because it sets up intent and gives her an opportunity to put a boundary up if she isn't feeling it.
d0nnivain Posted December 15, 2019 Posted December 15, 2019 She may not be a touchy person & she may have been socialized not to take initiative with men, even when the invitation is there. It may take time. Try holding her hand or taking her arm. It will be your 3rd date. You can be courtly about it & ask for a good night kiss. You are going to have to give her a lot of time to warm up to the idea of touching you 1st. 1
Saracena Posted December 15, 2019 Posted December 15, 2019 6 hours ago, Yardy said: She recently came back from a holiday and bought me a special men’s face care product, and I was telling her it felt really good on my skin, hoping she’d reach out to touch my face to feel it but she just stood close and kept staring at my face, LOL must remember this one! However, she does sound interested but as already stated some people are more tactile than others and she may just be leaving the initiating to you!
smackie9 Posted December 15, 2019 Posted December 15, 2019 Confident guys don't question this, they just go for it, be bold, be more physical, teasing, strong eye contact, do all the talking, and not really care about anything else. This will draw her more to you. This type of confidence, makes them feel desired, and feel their value. Once you get them in the zone, pull back, be a little aloof, but still pleasant. And before you know it, she will finally come out of her shell expressing wanting more of your attention.
Author Yardy Posted December 15, 2019 Author Posted December 15, 2019 Thanks guys, guess I’ll keep pushing on as long as she doesn’t flinch. The other day while she was explaining how to use the face product, I casually mentioned shaving foam and asked if she uses anything special to shave her legs (she was in shorts) since they look so smooth, she said never shaved, just born naturally hairless, so I touched her leg and arm to feel them and she just giggled. I’ll take that as a good sign.
snowboy91 Posted December 16, 2019 Posted December 16, 2019 Many girls won't make the first move when it comes to touch. If you're interested try holding her hand next time you're out and see what happens. If she's awkward or shy about it I'd pull back, if she seems enthusiastic then keep going. It's hard to tell from your post whether this is a platonic friendship or she's interested in something more. Just have to see what happens.
Recommended Posts