blondie2580 Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 I could use some advice. I am a grad. student. I just got out of a relationship, but I am very interested in someone. Overall, I need advice about asking a man out. However, here are some details: Last weekend I went to a class of mine (yes, I have class on weekends sometimes).This was my first day in my class and I noticed a nice looking man. To my suprise, he is a doctoral student and the teaching assistant to my professor. Suprisingly, my professor announced to the class (mainly female) that if anyone wanted to date him they didn't have to worry because he would not be doing any of the grading, ha! I shrugged my shoulders and thought not much of it. However, the next day he presented a lecture and I became very attracted to how intelligent and kind he seemed. After this, I can't get him out of my head. We have never spoke to each other. I am very shy, expecially when I am attracted to someone and it seems that he is shy as well. I have never asked a man out before. My class resumes this weekend, but it will be the last session for the class. I believe that he will be there, though I am not positive. I found out that he attend class at a different campus an hour away (sigh). Anyways, my question is, how should I go about doing this??? I am desribed as very attractive, but like I said I am shy. I do not think that I would be able to ask him out in person, especially since he is the t.a. I found out what his e-mail was through our college database, and I though about sending an e-mail, but I do not want to sound stupid. Anyways, long story short, what is your advice for me???
fusangite Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 Send him the e-mail. He will be thrilled out of his mind in all likelihood. There are no possible negative consequences here aside from momentary embarassment and anxiety that will be very effectively mitigated by the use of e-mail.
elijahBailey Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 Not a good idea. As is with relationships with co-workers, I think it should be off-limits. Imagine what would happen if you mishandled the situation; how are you gonna be able to continue to attend his classes. Some things are just not worth the effort and should be left as fantasies.
slubberdegullion Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 Both fusangite and EB have it correct. Let him know you're interested, but would prefer to go out with him after this current class is over. That way, neither of you are put in a potential conflict-of-interest situation. Go 4 it!
Author blondie2580 Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 I agree with all of you. Except it is highly unlikely that I will have this guy in another class, even more so as a professor. I have never seen him before, and he takes classes at a different campus. Anyways, I hope he will be there this weekend, and I will try my best to talk to him. If not, I will send him an e-mail, but I'm wondering in the e-mail about how I should go about saying I got his e-mail address??? One of my friends and I were discussing this and we were saying that I should say that I got it from my professor or the department(ok, so it's a white lie). Any other ideas? And any other ideas about how to "break the ice" in the e-mail??
fusangite Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 If not, I will send him an e-mail, but I'm wondering in the e-mail about how I should go about saying I got his e-mail address??? It's publicly listed in a directory. If you are interested enough in him to ask him out, you're interested enough to look up his e-mail address so you don't sound weird, desperate or anything else inappropriate by being up front if you are asked. But don't worry: you almost certainly won't be asked.And any other ideas about how to "break the ice" in the e-mail??Nope. If I could tell you what it is that I do in my e-mail communications I'd tell you not to do that. But I don't even know what I'm doing wrong there.
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