Ghosted by the guy that said he wanted to marry me? Will he be back? Was it my fault

[Kk21]

So just needed a little advice,

I’m an Indian girl who comes from a traditional Indian family whereby arranged marriage happens and which I’m completely okay with. 

I met the male version of me online. He was perfect but also a considerably a lot older than me and who was a very successful business man. This guy from the moment we started speaking was so adamant and straight to the point about families being involved and how he was going to meet my family and how they would love him. I hadn’t really taken him seriously and just thought he was funny so i carried on speaking to him .. a few days in he asks me what I wanted and I told him i wanted my parents to be involved and for his so they can okay things beforehand. In Indian culture it is a very big thing to get parents involved in relationships and he did exactly that. He also stated that he didn’t want to wait to get married and wanted to be married within in the next 2-3 months. Which is what I wanted too. 

However, I may sound a little childish here but he wasn’t very good with texting and that was the only form of communication we had, he wouldn’t call me so we just spoke over text. However I would see that he would message me perfectly normal and then would go silent but was using social media? So I asked him about this and said he was sorry and explained due to the Christmas period he was extremely busy as he was going abroad twice in two weeks and I did my best to understand So I let it go. 

So our mums spoke and agreed that we should let the two “kids” meet. Which we did and even in person we got on like a house of fire and he confirmed this by arranging for our families to meet and even discussing plans for the following week to make it official and get engaged he also asked if me He could meet my brother (again a huge thing in Indian culture). Which too went great and again made a point of inviting all of our family to his house. 

When we got back we carried on like normal until the next day he texted me normally in the morning and then didn’t hear anything from him until the following morning and again went quiet. This time I had enough and told him I’m putting a hold on things until I’m priority and he doesn’t reply. So I messaged him a few times and still no reply .. so I remove him from social media and delete his number. however the mum got in contact and confirmed his busy schedule and also said that he doesn’t even get time speak to her and they also spoke about things and family issues that you wouldn’t share with someone you haven’t met .. so I messaged him again apologising of how I acted and if he wants to talk I’m here but it’s been a week now and I’ve still not heard anything .. have I been ghosted?

[preraph]

Sounds more like you broke up with him. Over not texting enough?

[Kk21]

11 minutes ago, preraph said:

Sounds more like you broke up with him. Over not texting enough?

I said I was going to put a hold on things and I had no reply

[K.K.]

^ are you for real 

 

 

[Kk21]

Did I over react?

[mark clemson]

Texting is always tricky because we get used to a certain timing in responses and then when it changes it causes insecurity/worry.

 

Perhaps he changed his mind about the wedding. This could be for any number of reasons, and may or may not have anything to do with the texting.

 

As an american, getting married to someone you don't really know well (due to the short timeframe) seems like a recipe for trouble. However that's my cultural perspective and you by no means need to share it. In your particular case, though, I would point out that since you don't really know this man well, you don't really know his thought patterns. So unless he responds, you're unlikely to know. We on this forum are even less able to know his thoughts accurately than you are.