seeeker Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 (edited) I had a coffee date yesterday with a girl, it went well. There was some flirting, and subtext, prolonged eye contact, and all kinds of potential goodness happening. Follow up text was flirty ("Let's play footsies, can't wait to see you again," etc...). Problem is now schedule and logistics, and I have no idea if I should play it safe and gentlemanly, or be forward and go for it. She works from 6-9am, and 3-9pm, she's a nanny. Those are weird hours. It leaves either a late night get together, or another bright midday get together. If she spent the night it would mean her leaving at like 5am. She lives about 20 minutes away. I am away this weekend, then there are a few days next week, then away for the holidays for about ten days. So, a little bit of urgency to keep the energy going. So there is tonight and tomorrow night, otherwise we'll have to wait until next week, and potentially some of the energy will have faded. Or after the holidays. I think we both want sex, and I kind of want to just ask her if she wants to come over and spend the night. It's been a while for me. I want to appear decisive and assertive. But we literally just met, and I'm not sure if the conversation and chemistry will continue if we jump in the sack. Or if she is "that type of girl." But I can't think of anything to do socially that will keep the vibe on flirting and towards intimacy, given her unusual hours. We talked about dinner, but after 9pm is a little late for that? Should I ask her for a drink somewhere? She doesn't actually drink too much. No idea how to proceed. Edited December 11, 2019 by seeeker
Ruby Slippers Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 How about a long lunch, then drinks/dinner that evening or one soon following? Definitely don't delay. And don't ask her over after just one date. Few self-respecting women will go for that. If a man invited me to his place on the 2nd date, I'd decline, delete, and probably block him.
d0nnivain Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 You had a coffee date with this woman & you think the next move is to invite her over to spend the night? Oh boy. You have been out of this too long. You can ask but I suspect the answer will be What kind of a woman do you think I am? and then she will never speak to you again because she will conclude that you are jerk who is only using her for easy sex. Take her to lunch tomorrow. Make a plan for the date next week. On that date next week negotiate a post holiday plan.
Author seeeker Posted December 11, 2019 Author Posted December 11, 2019 Ok noted. Playing it cool and slow is also a good strategy. To the two who responded, I don't know your demographics but believe it or not, asking a girl over this quickly can happen if the chemistry is really strong. It is infrequent to be sure, but not out of the question, and it is more likely when they are younger. Maybe you're not aware but women do jump in bed fast depending on the circumstances. It's a matter of correctly reading the signals and knowing when it is appropriate to be honest, assertive and direct. I don't suspect in this case she would be offended and creeped out, it is obviously on her mind. I think she would probably just say no thanks, not yet. I understand playing it safe is probably a good idea, I'm just a little rusty on reading the situation. I think what I'll do is keep the chat going and try to get a better sense of where she's at. Thanks for the replies.
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