Horrendous experience after I said I didn’t wish to date further (1st date)

[fromheart]

On 12/11/2019 at 4:20 PM, Twizzlestick said:

Thank you folks, all of you. I’ll tell you a couple of things.

 

Something I found distinctly sinister and actually makes me shudder was she presented an air of being utterly balanced, very friendly, if somewhat forward. The only thing that showed the flag to me - and luckily I trusted my instinct on this - was when she became incredibly insistent towards the end. She was far from unattractive (just not my spark personally) so I can see someone being lured in and agreeing to subsequent dates.

.

Some of them will have this image for months.  Some longer than that, you may find yourself moved in and invested in property with a complete psycho.

Its why many men don't move in with women anymore, and don't have kids.  If things go wrong, the courts will probably be against you and you end up homeless, or a suicide statistic.  Not enough is being done to deal with the psychos out there.

Its up to us to see them for what they are in the early stages, and reject them outright.  That way, their genetics will die out of the human gene pool.  Evolution.

[Calmandfocused]

Op 

 

This is not dating rejection you are dealing with here. This is severe Mental Health problems.
 

You sensed something was not quite right early on in the date which you paid attention to. This was the right thing to do in order to protect yourself ... and her. 
 

Your observation and instincts were absolutely correct and you handled it very well. 
 

Please do not for a single second entertain any possibility that you did something wrong. You successfully avoided something which could have escalated into something incredibly unpleasant. 

 

Thank goodness you didn’t sleep with her. It would have produced interesting material for a Fatal Attraction Sequel for sure. 
 

 

[CLS63AMG]

Reminds me of a bumble girl I "met" a few months ago.  She had really good pics and we hit it off while messaging and I set up a date for the next Friday.  Then I stopped for a few seconds and carefully went over her pics, one of the best ones was her on a beach and she had said they were all very recent pics.  So I asked about trips she'd been on and got it out of her that that particular pic was from hawaii back in 2013 or something.  Gulp.  So I did some digging and found a pic of her online, lets just say she was extremely large.  Like, made my freaking jaw drop, large.  Completely unrecognizable from her bumble pics.  I called her out on it when cancelling the date and got all kinds of messages back, all night and into the next day.  Yeah, like it was my fault that she completely lied about her looks and almost made me waste getting ready, driving somewhere, parking, anxiety etc. 

[mortensorchid]

She sounds crazy as hell.  You were right to not be feeling it for her.  If something doesn't feel right, it usually isn't.   You may never k ow what that is or is not but if you ignore it, it will always linger there.  Block her on everything and move on.

[Twizzlestick]

On 12/19/2019 at 4:10 PM, CautiouslyOptimistic said:

I think every woman who has ever done online dating has his this same exact experience in reverse, and sometimes it's even before a first date!  So, now you know what women mean when they say they are afraid to tell a man the truth about not being interested.  

 

I've never actually heard of a woman doing it.  She sounds unhinged.

 

 

Ive some Male friends who have had some pretty unpleasant experiences with women so I don’t think it’s that unusual. Granted not like this haha.

 

I don’t think it’s a gender thing. It’s a people thing. I suppose there’s the old out dated stereo type that persists that men are as a bunch are full of baddies and girls generally better behaved and things like this are an outlier.. It’s just people. You have lovely women and men who would never dream of acting in such a way. But then you have your bad eggs.

 

As you and some others have mentioned I think this women must have some psychological issues and that happens to guys just as much.

Edited December 22, 2019 by Twizzlestick

[Twizzlestick]

On 12/20/2019 at 1:22 PM, Calmandfocused said:

Op  
 

 

 

Thanks Calm and focussed wise words 

[OatsAndHall]

I hate to sound paranoid but don't take this lightly. She has your number and can easily find out where you live and work. She's shown she's willing to go to great lengths to reach you and I would have my hackles up. I would see if you can file a police report for harassment as that might slow her roll a bit. They might not be able to do anything but you'll have started a legal paper trail that will help if she continues to contact you. Honestly, the police shouldn't have any problems darkening her door in some manner if you show them

 

I picked up a stalker on Match a few years ago and she only went away when I called the police.

[Wanderlust2018]

2 hours ago, OatsAndHall said:

I hate to sound paranoid but don't take this lightly. She has your number and can easily find out where you live and work. She's shown she's willing to go to great lengths to reach you and I would have my hackles up. I would see if you can file a police report for harassment as that might slow her roll a bit. They might not be able to do anything but you'll have started a legal paper trail that will help if she continues to contact you. Honestly, the police shouldn't have any problems darkening her door in some manner if you show them

 

I picked up a stalker on Match a few years ago and she only went away when I called the police.

Agree on playing it very cautious and be both vigilant and alert.

 

I too had a woman stalk me some time back. In addition to the calls, texts and emails (until I blocked her in any and every way I could think of), she created a very derogatory social media page with my name and included pictures (not of me) that were equally derogatory. Took me some time, but thankfully, I was able to get it removed. She also attempted to engage people I knew, friends, etc. to try to cause me trouble.

 

Also, in my case, fortunately, I have a friend/former associate who is a very high-powered attorney, and although I’m not the “litigious” type, I did pull that card and threaten her with legal action, which seemed to also back her off. 

 

Don’t think that I didn’t sleep with my loaded gun within reach for quite a while... Yes, she was that crazy and off kilter...

[Isthisloveordream]

That’s one crazy woman there. Her reaction is really inappropriate and she’s that she’s unable to control her emotions and behavior. 
 

You dodged a bullet there, no doubt about it. Dating a woman like that would be pure hell. If she can behave like that with someone she’s just met, imagine what she would do to a boyfriend. 
 

I commend you on doing the right thing and telling her upfront that you were not interested in further dating with her. Not many man have the courage to do this, instead they just ghost. 
This is a very unpleasant experience but still, you did the right thing.

[OatsAndHall]

On 12/22/2019 at 11:36 AM, Wanderlust2018 said:

Agree on playing it very cautious and be both vigilant and alert.

 

I too had a woman stalk me some time back. In addition to the calls, texts and emails (until I blocked her in any and every way I could think of), she created a very derogatory social media page with my name and included pictures (not of me) that were equally derogatory. Took me some time, but thankfully, I was able to get it removed. She also attempted to engage people I knew, friends, etc. to try to cause me trouble.

 

Also, in my case, fortunately, I have a friend/former associate who is a very high-powered attorney, and although I’m not the “litigious” type, I did pull that card and threaten her with legal action, which seemed to also back her off. 

 

Don’t think that I didn’t sleep with my loaded gun within reach for quite a while... Yes, she was that crazy and off kilter...

 

That's crazy...

 

My stalker tried to raise all kinds of hell for me, professionally. I'm a teacher and her mother works as a clerk in a school in the same county where I was teaching. Her and her mother contacted staff members in various schools in the area (including the one I worked at) and trashed me upside and down. We'd only dated for around three weeks so I was a bit taken a back by all of the crap. I made one call to the local union rep, he contacted her mother's boss and that put an end to it.

 

And yes, I also slept with my .38 special in the bed stand as she had tried to get into my house one night.