Maplewaffle Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 I had a dream where I met a stranger in a large mansion and we fell in love. Was a short dream but the feelings throughout the dream were so happy and intense. I’ve been in a relationship for a year with a man who loves me dearly. Recently there’s been a lot of pressure on me because we are long distance and planning to close the distance in January. I am the one moving. I’m 21 and the dream I had really messed me up. I know it’s just a dream but it made me miss falling in love again.. when me and my partner met, we texted for 1.5 months, met up, had sex the same night and a week later he said he loved me. I don’t know if I’m being deluded when I obsessively think about falling in love the way I did in my dream - he was charming, kind and what I have always considered perfect. It was like any woman’s dream. Gosh I’m being so crazy. I don’t know what direction is the right one to take anymore.
NomiMalone Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 I believe dreams are your subconscious’ manifestations of your thoughts and desires in real life. I don’t think you’ll be happy staying in this relationship. You may even resent having to uproot your life to move to his city. I notice you mentioned that your man loves you dearly, but you did not say you love him. That is very telling. You are 21. The world is your oyster and you have your whole life in front of you. Seize it with both hands, get out and fall in love to your heart’s content! 1
Ruby Slippers Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 7 hours ago, NomiMalone said: I notice you mentioned that your man loves you dearly, but you did not say you love him. That is very telling. Agreed. Are you in love with him? If not, your subconscious mind is telling you this isn't going to cut it, so don't bother moving for a dead-end deal.
Lotsgoingon Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 Sometimes the best part of a relationship is the falling in love. That process provides a high ... gets us into fantasy mode. You used the word "perfect." Well hate to tell you, there is no such thing as a perfect human being. Sounds like you were infatuated ... which is very much like being drugged, only the substance is the body's natural chemicals. Many of us get infatuated (drugged) early on. Sounds like you're now moving into the next phase of the relationship. Relationships have to evolve and change. If you so miss the falling in love, then you might be unsatisfied with the relationship as it has shifted into a more normal mode. And you've put huge pressure on yourself to move. Makes sense that you would have this dream ... because what's disorienting is that a relationship can progress ... and nothing dramatically bad is happening ... the partner isn't being mean or lying ... and yet ... things can fall flat. Starting a relationship and building a long-term relationship are different processes, involving different skills, different mindsets ... require a lot more negotiation and mutual understanding and maturity. Let yourself own up to all feelings you're having ... and if you're really feeling terrified, why not postpone the move? You're only 21. No need to uproot your life at this point.
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