Keeves1 Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 (edited) Hello! I met a girl on Hot or not which I went on a date with. I won’t write her real name so let’s call her for «Maria» she is 21 year old which is good since I’m 24 Male. We met at a coffee shop and talked for atleast 1 hour before we walked around the city. To summarize the date I felt like it was alot about me and we did talk about politics which I should have steered away from. I could improve that the next time and focus more on having conversations that are light and fun Here is what I know about her: • Her favourite food is Pizza with pepperoni • She has never tried Sushi before • She likes to hit the gym • Her parents are divorced • Her favourite color is black and gold • She works at a interior store as well as she had been studying interior design • She likes KPOP music and to watch K-Drama’s • She had actually played soccer for a couple of years • She just had sex 1 year ago (She did briefly mentioned that but I could ask questions for the second date) • She is an morning person I’m still kinda suprised that she’s still using birth control pills after having sex a year ago. I don’t know why it’s bothering me but I think it’s nothing to worry about. What questions should I ask on the second date? And what activity can we do? BTW: I’m Norwegian so if you don’t understand just ask me! And I will try my best to explain again. It can be difficult sometimes as the language might crash. Edited December 11, 2019 by Keeves1
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 She mentioned Birth Control and the last time she had sex on the first date, you are in and it sounds like shes already got an activity on her mind.
Author Keeves1 Posted December 11, 2019 Author Posted December 11, 2019 (edited) 7 hours ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said: She mentioned Birth Control and the last time she had sex on the first date, you are in and it sounds like shes already got an activity on her mind. I know what you’re thinking but she wants a relationship too as she told me and it does not add up to what her actions are saying. She wants sex first as it seems and she might leave me behind after. I also noticed that she still uses dating app frequently after we met. She was on about a hour ago. It makes me think that she is not satisfied with me but I’m not thinking about that as of now Edited December 11, 2019 by Keeves1 Correcting some words
healing light Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 Congratulations on your first date. I wouldn't assume a woman wants to sleep with you because she is on birth control. I have friends who take it for non-sexual related reasons. What are you hoping to ask her about the last time she had sex? If you're worried about an STD, it's just important to test together if it comes to that and know the general time frame of when her last encounter was so you know the incubation period associated with certain STDs before they'll show up. Otherwise, I wouldn't ask her too many questions about her sexual history at this point. Relax and get to know her better. Ask her out for a second date a few days in advance with a time and place. If she keeps saying yes, then you know she's interested. Don't overthink it.
d0nnivain Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 (edited) Why the heck were the two of you even talking about her BC routine if you weren't hitting the sheets on this date? Just yuck. Do neither of you have meaningful boundaries? So basically after this very causal low key date you have superficial info about her, other then her BC routine. BTW some women take BC to regulate their cycles & minimize pain / cramping / discomfort. Stop reading judgmental things about her level of promiscuity into her medication choice. However, since she is still on the various apps, assume until told otherwise that she is dating multiple men. You have to step up if you hope to take everybody else out of the rotation & become exclusive. That will not happen this year. You should also not conclude that she will be your date for NYE. She's probably already got plans. Go on a 2nd date. Take about anything. The subject doesn't matter. The point is to ascertain if you are attracted to one another & do you find each other interesting on multiple levels. Since she likes KPOP can you do an activity where that music is involved? Edited December 11, 2019 by d0nnivain
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted December 11, 2019 Posted December 11, 2019 8 hours ago, Keeves1 said: I know what you’re thinking but she wants a relationship too as she told me and it does not add up to what her actions are saying. She wants sex first as it seems and she might leave me behind after. I also noticed that she still uses dating app frequently after we met. She was on about a hour ago. It makes me think that she is not satisfied with me but I’m not thinking about that as of now No s*** she is still on, she is DTF and you are all like "She wants a relationship" this girl wants to smash, smash and smash some more and now, some other guy is gonna get it in there. Ya missed your chance bud.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 12, 2019 Posted December 12, 2019 On 12/10/2019 at 6:29 PM, Keeves1 said: I’m still kinda suprised that she’s still using birth control pills Among other possibilities, she could even be avoiding her periods through the steady use of BCP's. They also may help with cramps or the like.
Author Keeves1 Posted December 12, 2019 Author Posted December 12, 2019 1 hour ago, SincereOnlineGuy said: Among other possibilities, she could even be avoiding her periods through the steady use of BCP's. They also may help with cramps or the like. There is obviously many opinions on the BC part but I try not to think much about it. I think you are right on this one... it might be cramps 11 hours ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said: No s*** she is still on, she is DTF and you are all like "She wants a relationship" this girl wants to smash, smash and smash some more and now, some other guy is gonna get it in there. Ya missed your chance bud. Nah man I still think I have a chance
Author Keeves1 Posted December 12, 2019 Author Posted December 12, 2019 20 hours ago, healing light said: Congratulations on your first date. I wouldn't assume a woman wants to sleep with you because she is on birth control. I have friends who take it for non-sexual related reasons. What are you hoping to ask her about the last time she had sex? If you're worried about an STD, it's just important to test together if it comes to that and know the general time frame of when her last encounter was so you know the incubation period associated with certain STDs before they'll show up. Otherwise, I wouldn't ask her too many questions about her sexual history at this point. Relax and get to know her better. Ask her out for a second date a few days in advance with a time and place. If she keeps saying yes, then you know she's interested. Don't overthink it. Thanks Healing light! There has been quite a few months since I last was on a date so I almost forgot everything hahha. There is a possibility that she wants to sleep with me yes, but in her case I think she just has cramps though. I could use condom but I won’t be asking her sexual questions anytime soon so I fully agree on you on that. Yes! I’ll just take what it comes and hope for the best
Author Keeves1 Posted December 12, 2019 Author Posted December 12, 2019 (edited) 20 hours ago, d0nnivain said: Why the heck were the two of you even talking about her BC routine if you weren't hitting the sheets on this date? Just yuck. Do neither of you have meaningful boundaries? So basically after this very causal low key date you have superficial info about her, other then her BC routine. BTW some women take BC to regulate their cycles & minimize pain / cramping / discomfort. Stop reading judgmental things about her level of promiscuity into her medication choice. However, since she is still on the various apps, assume until told otherwise that she is dating multiple men. You have to step up if you hope to take everybody else out of the rotation & become exclusive. That will not happen this year. You should also not conclude that she will be your date for NYE. She's probably already got plans. Go on a 2nd date. Take about anything. The subject doesn't matter. The point is to ascertain if you are attracted to one another & do you find each other interesting on multiple levels. Since she likes KPOP can you do an activity where that music is involved? Wow! You pointed out some good points here. Well she did initate the BC control talk as she took out a pill out of her pocket. I thought it was just pills she took because she was sick or something. She also gave a hint that she wanted to sleep with me when she asked what train I’m going on and follow up that with «I can follow you because we are going the same way» In reality we aren’t and we both live at different places. now most of you that are reading this are probably thinking «My man just fu**** up he’s chance on getting laid» Hear me out. Yes I did miss my chance BUT I’m not comfortable having sex with a person that I just met. I think I’m old fashioned as in many cases people have sex first and then go on multiple dates. Aren’t that the new method of dating nowadays? If so I need to adapt But Don I just think she was using BC because of cramps so nothing to worry about hahah I assume she’s still on the dating app looking and chatting with other men because we haven’t settled down yet so technically she’s free to do so. I just hope for the best and that things are going well! I will update this thread about the 2 date sooner! Edited December 12, 2019 by Keeves1
healing light Posted December 13, 2019 Posted December 13, 2019 Well, her wanting to take a train in your direction sounds like she wanted to spend some more time with you if she actually wasn't going that way, so that's good. I think the important part is to try to keep the momentum going so there aren't months between dates if you're looking for a relationship. And although it can certainly sound like a lot of people sleep with each other right away, I personally know several (myself included) that don't and prefer to get to know someone better or be exclusively seeing each other before that happens. So take it at the pace that you are comfortable and if she ends up not being okay with that, then you're not a match.
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