HopefullyLove Posted December 9, 2019 Posted December 9, 2019 So this guy I am dealing with. He calls me and asks me if I am doing anything for the weekend. I tell him I’m going to a concert. He says oh ok I hope you have fun, I’ll talk to you later then we hang up. I feel bad because I really wanted to see him BUT I had already purchased my concert ticket. I went alone if anyone cares. I had fun. I didn’t invite him because everyone doesn’t like my taste in music and since he doesn’t plan weekly dates I figure I can’t just wait around for him to ask me out. I haven’t talked to him in a few days and I’m wondering if he is upset with me for declining. Should I ask or see what’s up?
FMW Posted December 9, 2019 Posted December 9, 2019 Reach out to him and just keep it casual, ask how his weekend was. That lets him know you aren't blowing him off and want to continue whatever it is you've had with him. If all he did was ask if you were doing anything for the weekend (without saying hey, would like to do xyz) then you didn't actually decline an invitation. If he is bothered that you had plans, then maybe he'll get the clue he needs to ask you out ahead of time. But until he gets that clue, you should continue making plans for things you enjoy.
preraph Posted December 9, 2019 Posted December 9, 2019 Look, I understand your nervousness about it, but it's good to not always be available, shows you have a life, aren't going to just wait around for someone. Do exactly like Finding my way said above. No hurry, just reach out and ask how his weekend was and he'll know it wasn't a rejection. 2
lana-banana Posted December 9, 2019 Posted December 9, 2019 Yes, he probably assumed you weren't interested. You should reach out and explain you had plans but wanted to see him, then set something else up. You can tell him about the concert on your next date. A good rule of thumb when you like someone is to always reschedule as soon as possible. Life happens. Sometimes I had to cancel on men I legitimately liked due to illness, work, etc, but it was never an issue because I made sure we got something concrete on the calendar before we hung up the phone. That way they knew I was serious and not being a flake.
Blind-Sided Posted December 10, 2019 Posted December 10, 2019 Yep... reach out. If this is a new relationship... a clear cut off like that is a sign that you were done. Since it seems like you still want to see him... you should have tried to set up the next meeting while saying you couldn't go out that weekend. 1
Author HopefullyLove Posted December 10, 2019 Author Posted December 10, 2019 1 hour ago, lana-banana said: Yes, he probably assumed you weren't interested. You should reach out and explain you had plans but wanted to see him, then set something else up. You can tell him about the concert on your next date. A good rule of thumb when you like someone is to always reschedule as soon as possible. Life happens. Sometimes I had to cancel on men I legitimately liked due to illness, work, etc, but it was never an issue because I made sure we got something concrete on the calendar before we hung up the phone. That way they knew I was serious and not being a flake. I see. Once I told him he was talking so fast and ended the convo before I could tell him we can hang out some other time. He told me he would call me later so I just kinda was like ok. 1 hour ago, preraph said: Look, I understand your nervousness about it, but it's good to not always be available, shows you have a life, aren't going to just wait around for someone. Do exactly like Finding my way said above. No hurry, just reach out and ask how his weekend was and he'll know it wasn't a rejection. Thanks. I figured I would just go do something I like because he isn’t consistent. He has some things going on and I respect it but I figured well life is to live. I do like him And enjoy seeing him. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 10, 2019 Posted December 10, 2019 You answered the Q too narrowly. The "weekend" is 3 days. You should have said I have concert tickets for [fill in date: Friday / Saturday Sunday] [night / afternoon] but I am otherwise free. What did you have in mind? You needed to telegraph interest while specifying your prior commitment. The way you answered he thought you were shooting him down across the board. 1
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