Springsummer Posted December 3, 2019 Posted December 3, 2019 over a coffee? drink? dinner? I mean how do people generally meet after they talked to each other online and decided to meet in real life? Does the manner a man decided to meet you any indication of his intention about you? does coffee feel cheaper than a drink? value you less? etc... what's generally the norm? the approach?
Ruby Slippers Posted December 3, 2019 Posted December 3, 2019 I learned not to accept coffee/drink date invites, as it's an indicator of low effort/investment - not what a man looking for something serious does. I only accepted invites for lunch or dinner. My first date with my new boyfriend started with brunch. He said he'd come to my neighborhood, and since he didn't know my area very well, said he'd be glad to go anywhere I wanted. I picked a modest neighborhood Mexican restaurant, as that's what I feel is appropriate for a first date. That went so well that he invited me to go to the movies afterward, and we did. That went well, so he asked if I wanted to go have drinks. We went to a different Mexican restaurant and had excellent conversation over margaritas. It was at this point that I started feeling as if I'd known him a long time. Then, we hit it off so well that we went to a park in my neighborhood, walked around a little, and ended the day-long date with steamy kisses
d0nnivain Posted December 4, 2019 Posted December 4, 2019 The dating sites recommend something quick, public & relatively inexpensive, i.e. not dinner. Coffee or a drink I would chalk up to comfort level. One will be more well lit & less brain altering so perhaps "safer". I don't think you can or should read anything into the choice of 1st meeting venue other then mutually convenient time & place. Ironically my 1st OLD date ever was dinner & it was the worst date of my life. My 2nd OLD date was also dinner. Again, a bad date. So when my subscription ran out I stopped trying to look for love on line. 1
Author Springsummer Posted December 4, 2019 Author Posted December 4, 2019 (edited) The dating sites recommend something quick, public & relatively inexpensive, i.e. not dinner. Coffee or a drink I would chalk up to comfort level. One will be more well lit & less brain altering so perhaps "safer". I don't think you can or should read anything into the choice of 1st meeting venue other then mutually convenient time & place. Ironically my 1st OLD date ever was dinner & it was the worst date of my life. My 2nd OLD date was also dinner. Again, a bad date. So when my subscription ran out I stopped trying to look for love on line. Yes. come to think of it. you don't want to have dinner with someone who turns out to be not the person you imagined or worse, you can't stand. d0nnivain, after I asked the guy the meaning of the pic, and said he will send a better one. He ended up sending a knitting sweater pic and say knitting for me. I think that's sweet. so I should at least give him the benefit of a doubt. Edited December 4, 2019 by Springsummer
Cersei Posted December 4, 2019 Posted December 4, 2019 Most of my first dates/meet ups were just a simple coffee. I thought it was good because I like talking and getting to know people. But my current dude well things were (and are) anything but the normal way of doing things. On our first meeting we went ATVing. You should never take off into the Bush alone with a complete stranger. I didn't want to be so stupid so i brought a friend. Really that was not much smarter. But date 2 we went to a food truck event then a walk...alone.
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted December 4, 2019 Posted December 4, 2019 For me, coffee is typically the pre-date. Myself, I believe there should be the first date, for sure, but before that date and pressure, you need to meet this person and explore what chemistry you can. Coffee does this well. Lots of women I meet have this expectation that we are going to sit and have a coffee for 45-60 minutes, but my rule is 15 minutes tops... Like, if it leads somewhere after 15 minutes and you two want to go on a date from there or meet up sometime later in the week, that is all good, but... Always leave the pre-date brief. First date, I mean, if you guys are going for coffee AGAIN... That is lame. Like really, in the pre-date, you spend 15 minutes with somebody, your date should involve whatever you guys talked about and had in common... Like if you are both watching a certain show, maybe have dinner and then go plan to go and watch that show or... Going to the gym? That is a decent first date. My first date is usually I will invite the woman to come to my place and cook a meal with me, I think that is perfect first date... Oh, you think your getting a $200 night out? Naw, you peelin' potatoes. Then maybe after we eat, if things go well, we go out and do something more exciting.
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