ThorntonMelon Posted December 3, 2019 Posted December 3, 2019 This thread makes me very sad because I don't think you can see the forest from the trees here. This is an extremely manipulative, emotionally abusive, troubled man who obviously can't fool people who he works for but is very comfortable trying to manipulate you. His impulse control is obviously terrible. Your friends and family should be begging you to get the hell away from him. I realize as an anonymous internet poster, this will be easy to ignore, but I think you should take many, many large steps away from him, demand a break, and try and see things more clearly. I fear he will get more manipulative if he can get away with continued behavior like this. 3
40somethingGuy Posted December 3, 2019 Posted December 3, 2019 Sounds like he needs to shut his mouth if it isn't his money. He's being a pansy and seems like the furthest thing from an alpha. Maybe acting like he does is why he perceives being bullied. Frankly, I'd quit contacting him. 8 years is a long time but you need to flip the script and quit accepting him being such an over-sensitive pansy. This will really be an issue if you 2 ever got married. When you quit contacting him he will come around but you are giving him power with your constant reaching out. In your mind, consider him history. Get a real man.
40somethingGuy Posted December 3, 2019 Posted December 3, 2019 I know he isn't happy with his own life. There were times he said he'd rather not live. I just felt that I could be the one to help and stay with him during these dark periods. Wow, sounds like a real keeper!
40somethingGuy Posted December 3, 2019 Posted December 3, 2019 Just an update: he texted to say he was very hurt and sad about what happened yesterday. I’ve apologized and he also did. Now he’s saying he needed a while to heal the wound and asked if I would hurt him in the long run. My reply was no, I will not. He asked if I could promise, I said yes. And that was the end of conversation. Lame. it will be your fault next time he doesn't measure up.
preraph Posted December 3, 2019 Posted December 3, 2019 I've already answered the specific situation question, but now I've just go to say this because this is the bigger issue. Your husband is blaming the rest of the world for his failures. It's NOT the rest of the world. It's him. He's not functioning in a way he can succeed. Here's the thing: If he doesn't get a full time job and hold it for at least a year, there is NO WAY you should marry him -- and you need to tell him that! Don't be his mommy the rest of his life enabling his lame behavior! He needs to man up. 1
rightondude Posted December 3, 2019 Posted December 3, 2019 If my woman said she'd slap me I'd get turned on and let her know we'd need to handle that later. But anyway... ...this guy's got problems. You're making excuses for him. If that's how you wanna go through life so be it but I'd recommend you take a look at yourself 5 years from now, ask if you wanna be in the same spot you are now, because that's entirely what's likely unless he deals with these problems. You really want to be with someone who can't even take your joke and know when you're kidding about slapping them? After being together 8 years????
preraph Posted December 3, 2019 Posted December 3, 2019 Correction from above, "boyfriend," not husband.
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