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I love a man I cannot have - do I have to tell him?


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3 minutes ago, lana-banana said:

 

"I trust myself, just not women." The "sweetheart" is just the icing on the cake. Good work convincing anybody you aren't a Neanderthal. If I worked in your office I wouldn't be alone with you either.

 

And your response is the exact reason I have the policy as outlined above: aka, to prevent women like you from trying to wreck my carer through false allegations or other methods. I can see you getting angry at a male co-worker you think is a Neanderthal because he used the microwave for two long, and then telling his boss that he pinched your ass.

 

Not all men these days are stupid 

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34 minutes ago, Brennan72 said:

 

And your response is the exact reason I have the policy as outlined above: aka, to prevent women like you from trying to wreck my carer through false allegations or other methods. I can see you getting angry at a male co-worker you think is a Neanderthal because he used the microwave for two long, and then telling his boss that he pinched your ass.

 

Not all men these days are stupid 

 

You are the one who jumped at the chance to call an internet stranger "sweetheart", bragged about how you're scared to be left alone with women, and insisted that #metoo (which has no relevance to this topic) is about destroying men's lives. I'm done with this thread and ignoring you but you're really telling on yourself here. If you are so frightened of women thinking you're a harasser and/or predator maybe it's because you act like one.

Edited by lana-banana
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  • 3 weeks later...
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Well, thank you all for your insights. 

The situation is getting unbearable for me and I'm considering to leaving the job after finishing one important project there. actually everytime I see him and we have to discuss something, I end up crying after, because of the fact that I have to control my feelings so much. 

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Fridita   under those circumstances it's probably better that you change jobs.   Best wishes 

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  • 1 month later...

As someone who was in exactly the same situation, I did tell him eventually. Against all advice, but I don't regret it. Nothing happened between us, he didn't declare his love for me, I didn't ask him to and I didn't expect him to, considering his situation. Still, just letting him know helped me to let it go. He never blamed me for it, he didn't treat me differently afterwards. We worked together for quite some time afterwards, still as close coworkers.

So, judge the situation yourself and be realistic. Telling him can help you get rid of the intensity of your feelings, but don't expect him to return your feelings.

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Just wondering what you mean to accomplish by telling a guy who is in a relationship that you like him other than him ignoring it? He leaves his so for you or becoming his side chick? . In both cases, the guy has a weak will/character, monkey-branches,  and will probably do it again down the road if it suits him . Not appealing wither scenario imo. 

Edited by Cookiesandough
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On 1/10/2020 at 6:46 PM, d0nnivain said:

Fridita   under those circumstances it's probably better that you change jobs.   Best wishes 

Either this or try therapy.  Probably just better to quit if you can't handle it.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I feel sorry for you and know how it might feel. I say no.

Unless you plan on quitting soon or have already quit.

Telling him will change the relationship completely and he might

avoid you, or even worse, lead you on.

I have been there and it sucks!

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