Dante88 Posted December 1, 2019 Posted December 1, 2019 Hi there, I am new to this forum, I introduce myself and try to explain my problem. I am a 31 years old guy, I'm the kind of guy serious and in my life I had 3 relationship. Basically this 3 relationship covered the last 10 years, all the 3 girlfriends I had came to me to kiss me and opening to the relationship. I am a pretty guy, I can easly socialize with women and many girls are interest to me. The problem is that even if I had relationship is like I really no have experiences in to the dating stuff, without knowing the processes and the steps to conquer a woman. Basically each time I know a new woman, after having fun and knowing each others at a certain point it looks like that many of this women arre like waiting I do something, it requires some times to understand that basiccally all this women was waiting for a kiss from me. In fact, at the beginning I was not understanding (my last relationship quit 2 years ago, so basically I am missing a woman for 2 years) this kind of mechanics, to me it was just having a chat and fun , but each time I wasn't understaing she was looking for a kiss, she just gone without having anymore any intention to see me or speak with me. Now that I am understanding this dynamics I am having an hard time with myself because now anytime I speak with a girl I like is like I am blocked by the thinking I have to kiss her, having doubts and fear to be not corresponded. So bacisally in this last 2 year is like I had so many chance to get a new girlfriend because my nice look and personality, but having this block that stop me to have anything more then a dating. This is like ruining my life and happyness, and I am living alone without anybody to stay to my side. Many of this ladies think I am like an assh..le, a pretty guy without heart that give women the illusion to be mine, but in reality I am the kind of guy serious trying to go beyond this wall that separe me from happyness. What can you tell me? There are other guys like me scared by the first kiss? And you women what think about that?
chillii Posted December 1, 2019 Posted December 1, 2019 (edited) So you had nothing sexual with your relationships ? Anyway , everyones scared at first not just you, but they try and take the chance. lf you want a real thing with a woman , that's what you have to do , no one can do it for ya ,unless again you just wait for her to , which is pretty ridiculous. Your a man, move things along next time with someone you really like, that's what your suppose to do or you can just whine and be scared forever. Edited December 1, 2019 by chillii
preraph Posted December 1, 2019 Posted December 1, 2019 It sounds like you don't WANT to kiss them. If you did, you would. Please understand that most guys want to kiss a woman. Do you have any idea why you don't and never do it? Because of course the woman will leave. Having sexual desire is the cornerstone of dating and relationships. Who are YOU attracted to? And if you don't want to kiss them, what DO you want to do with them besides chat?
Author Dante88 Posted December 1, 2019 Author Posted December 1, 2019 So you had nothing sexual with your relationships ?. Something like that yes, how did you understan it? And how this can affect my problem? Yes I will try to push the situation
Author Dante88 Posted December 1, 2019 Author Posted December 1, 2019 Basically, is like each time there is a problem that is annoing to me. Maybe I am in the University surrounded by many people and I don't like people would see me try to kiss her , even if she refuse me it would be like an umiliation in front of everybody. Sometimes, women tell me that they have boyfriend and just want to be friend with me, but thenit seems they are still interested to me and want I have to kiss, this make me very confused and I don't understand if is ok to do it, because a refuse can also ruin the friendship. Other times happen that I just wasn't understanding it, like the woman stay in front of me very close like waiting. To me is something almost new, like I don't exactley know which are the steps. In fact, after they leaved they didn't want to see me anymore. The most recent is a pretty lady that is living with her boyfriend, I known her at the university and she really like me, she really like to listen to my philosophy and my ideas. Is like she is courting me, she try to bring me in places trying to create a romantic ambient, but happened also that when I hug her, she want me to take the distances because her boyfriend. So basically I never kissed her, for respect her doubt, because I don't want to push her in something she don't figured out yet. Basically, there is ever something that makes me confuse, my brain is not lucid in that moments and I never kiss. Also in the disco sometimes girls try to kiss me and I refuse by instinct, and after a while I blame my self telling me: "why the f..k I did't? Why? Help me guys
Foxhall Posted December 1, 2019 Posted December 1, 2019 Just try a little kiss on the lips at the end of a date, she will lead you the rest of the way,
Piddy Posted December 1, 2019 Posted December 1, 2019 I'm confused. Have you ever kissed a girl? Sounds like you have had several opportunities, but don't do it for what ever reason. Kissing is a natural thing for two people who are attracted to each other. Sounds like you have some sort of phobia to kissing. Next time you get the opportunity go for it. Dive right in. You may find you might like it.
preraph Posted December 2, 2019 Posted December 2, 2019 Do women arouse you? Is it possible you're more aroused by men? Do you have anything like autism or Aspergers that would make you get confused?
chillii Posted December 2, 2019 Posted December 2, 2019 (edited) Something like that yes, how did you understan it? And how this can affect my problem? Yes I will try to push the situation Sorry but pretty obvious. Anyway , if your out on a date with her and she's warm to you and touchy , at a nice time just gently move closer and gently try just a little kiss first, if she's nice then some more. The university doesn't know anything you don't do stuff like that in front of everyone. Yeah she might tell friends the next day but if your respectable and gentle about it but she's not into you in that way, she won't say bad things, well if she's not a b@tch anyway and if she is into you she'll say nice things anyway. It's all perfectly natural stuff yaknow between 2 people. As long as your not a jerk with her it'll be ok don't sweat it. lf she likes you close and touching , hands ,and arm around her, and her you and things like that, she'll like you to kiss her too. Edited December 2, 2019 by chillii
LivingWaterPlease Posted December 2, 2019 Posted December 2, 2019 Pretty much if you put your lips on hers I believe your instinct will take over. If you kiss once lightly, I believe you will soon be kissing lots!
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