john9999 Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 With online dating women will communicate with me, even give me their Phone number. I’m 53 by way and trying to date women in my age range. Anyway, I cannot tell you how many women will chat with me, but then go silent. I get it if they never communicated with me, but these are women who are and even in some instances they initiate the first contact. Argh! So hard to understand.
Melrose78 Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 How soon after initiation do you get their number? Also, do the conversations flow? Do you feel a spark? I've chatted to many guys from online and quite a lot I don't follow through with. Especially if I feel no spark.
ajequals Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 How soon after initiation do you get their number? Also, do the conversations flow? Do you feel a spark? I've chatted to many guys from online and quite a lot I don't follow through with. Especially if I feel no spark. How can you feel a spark in a phone call? I certainly can't. you have to meet the person 1
TheFinalWord Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 Difficult to say from the info you have provided. Maybe if you want to copy and paste a text exchange we can give you some ideas. But generally speaking, women online are notoriously flaky. You have to understand the reason why women are online in the first place to understand why. In my experience a large percentage are recently out of a relationship/not yet over an ex and may be using online as a "safe" way to get male attention. Also, they may be getting bombarded with different men and one peaks their interest and you get put in back up. Like I said about online being safe, they can ghost you and they don't have to see you in real life, so they become colder in a way. A lot of women are online because they are super picky (usually they shoot above their own market value), and if someone that fits their criteria a little better comes along, they'll ghost. It's brutal, but that's why I don't invest a lot of time in chatting back and forth. Do just enough to get them to meet up. I am always upfront that the first meeting should just be for coffee or a drink and to go dutch. If they won't meet up for that, then they probably aren't very serious and you've saved time anyway. Some may be genuine in their search, but it could be your text game. Coming on too strong, coming on too weak...there are so many variables. You're doing good to get them off the dating site into texting. But I think it works better if you try to schedule a quick video call, then if you like what you see and there seems to be good chemistry, ask her if she would like to meet up. If they won't talk, want to text more first, etc. I wouldn't waste much time with those women. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 You're either writing something to put them off or failing to keep the connection going. Many men say lame things like: "How is it going on this site?" or whatever. Who cares? I want to get to know you and feel that you care to get to know me. Show her your earnest desire. I have a new boyfriend, and his persistence in attempting to find common ground with me and get together put him head and shoulders above the rest.
elaine567 Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 How can you feel a spark in a phone call? I certainly can't. you have to meet the person Its probably not about "the spark" it is just about the basics. Accent, ability to hold a conversation, intelligence, humour, level of education... etc. If you are already clashing or getting annoyed or getting bored over a phone call then meeting is likely out of the question. I also think chatting can produce "deal breakers", things that don't sit well, maybe not enough to bring it up as a topic for discussion, but enough to go "No, this is not the guy for me, I'll pass" OP As for the women contacting you then disappearing, they liked your looks, they were not so impressed once they started communicating with you, or they had a better option or they were just playing a game with no intention of taking anything further. or they have "issues" or "complications" and bottled out of arranging a meeting.
chillii Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 How can you feel a spark in a phone call? I certainly can't. you have to meet the person Your kidding right, ? Right person hell you can feel stuff in a one line text , you can feel stuff just lookin at them. Have you never been mad in love. A phone call can be huge with the right person, huge. 1
chillii Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 You're either writing something to put them off or failing to keep the connection going. Many men say lame things like: "How is it going on this site?" or whatever. Who cares? I want to get to know you and feel that you care to get to know me. Show her your earnest desire. I have a new boyfriend, and his persistence in attempting to find common ground with me and get together put him head and shoulders above the rest. But see that's the typical thing right here. Same with many women, as per usual. Everything they say and moan about, other women do. When l was on a date site l never even bothered answering most of them after their first message. They were hopeless. l got no time for squeezing blood out of stone or a late 40s teenager. 1
Maggiemay1 Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 How can you feel a spark in a phone call? I certainly can't. you have to meet the person You clearly mistook spark as in a physical attraction. Many failed relationships start off as a physical attraction only. And continue for some time based on that only. A spark is much more than that. Sense of humour , good flowing conversation etc Why bother meet someone to explore superficial physical attraction “spark” when there is no other compatibility?? 1
Maggiemay1 Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 With online dating women will communicate with me, even give me their Phone number. I’m 53 by way and trying to date women in my age range. Anyway, I cannot tell you how many women will chat with me, but then go silent. I get it if they never communicated with me, but these are women who are and even in some instances they initiate the first contact. . Women online receive 10x the contact online than men. Equate it to fishing! Lol Men just throw a line out and hope for a catch. Women are fussy eaters. You need to stand out from the rest , clearly you aren’t. Why aren’t you? Why are women nibbling on the bait but attracted to another’s? This is not about misunderstanding women , it’s about misunderstanding yourself . What do you have to offer and why are these women not getting the memo? 1
d0nnivain Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 The woman was home alone. She poured herself a drink. She went on line out of boredom. She chatted with you in the moment because it was entertaining & she felt prettier as a result of the contact. She had no interest in taking it farther. 1
OatsAndHall Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 My personal Cardinal Sin Of OLD: "Chatting" with women through the app or text for a prolonged period of time (i.e. longer than a few hours). I will exchange a few messages and then ask them to meet up with a day, time and place. Text isn't a good medium for communication, especially within the realm of OLD. There's always another person for them to "chat" with but setting that date in stone sparks more interest and gives them an incentive to keep in contact. 2
kendahke Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 With online dating women will communicate with me, even give me their Phone number. I’m 53 by way and trying to date women in my age range. Anyway, I cannot tell you how many women will chat with me, but then go silent. I get it if they never communicated with me, but these are women who are and even in some instances they initiate the first contact. Argh! So hard to understand. Maggiemay is right on target--the volumes of messages from bottom feeders inundates messages by men who aren't. Unfortunately OP, you're in the age range where "why bother?" is the driving motivator for going silent.
Beendaredonedat Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 How long are you wanting to "chat" before you ask them out on a date?
Author john9999 Posted November 30, 2019 Author Posted November 30, 2019 How can you feel a spark in a phone call? I certainly can't. you have to meet the person Exactly! How could anyone beyond just the photos that you see on the profile.
Author john9999 Posted November 30, 2019 Author Posted November 30, 2019 How long are you wanting to "chat" before you ask them out on a date? Just a couple of exchanges
chillii Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 You clearly mistook spark as in a physical attraction. Many failed relationships start off as a physical attraction only. And continue for some time based on that only. A spark is much more than that. Sense of humour , good flowing conversation etc Why bother meet someone to explore superficial physical attraction “spark” when there is no other compatibility?? Yep so true maggie. l can never believe the attraction thing round here, it's endless. sometimes through a whole thread nothing has even been mentions about all the other major things that make a relationship. l'm actually hating that damn word, attraction, these days , get so sick of just seeing that one thing through threads. Yaknow , as l've said many times , if that's all they have, all they look for, then it ain't goin anywhere, well not for long anyway. 1
Art_Critic Posted December 1, 2019 Posted December 1, 2019 You're either writing something to put them off or failing to keep the connection going. What.. Nice Tits!! won't keep it going Yeah..OP, you have to give then something to make them feel like if they go out with you they will have a great time, if the conversation lags or they get the feeling the date won't be any fun they ghost, who wants to go out on a date if it isn't gonna knock your sock off ?
Author john9999 Posted December 1, 2019 Author Posted December 1, 2019 Case in point. Women initiated contact with me on Bumble 2 days ago. She and I had talked before but she never could commit to a date. Yup, sane thing this time, said today or tomorrow but would not commit to a place or time. So,,,,, why the F would she hit me up in the first place. It makes no sense.
chillii Posted December 1, 2019 Posted December 1, 2019 And how's their convo been ? No need to answer that one.
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