Nosoul Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 I'll keep this short . Ex gf of 8 years left me twice. Once at 3 years n again at 8 obviously. Both times she left me for different guys. My ex is pretty but her ego is so far up her ass it's ridiculous. Anyways. She became an Instagram whore. Thousands and thousands of selfies n followers . Mostly men who want to sleep with her. I believe this is the reason for her. I'm too good for you attitude. She had to announce our breakup like it was on the cover of people magazine. N also bash me uncontrollably too all our mutual friends. While I was broken hearted. N shocked bagging for her not to do this again. Anyways. It's been over a year. She apparently moved some guy in shortly after she kicked me n my daughter out of our home. We also have a baby together. Bread crumbing stopped around 8 months. So Im a good looking guy. Fairly biult n I have good morals and am basically an empath. My ex is a text book narcissist. I met a new girl who is way out of my league . But I started seeing her. I'm nervous because I'm afraid because my ex damaged me pretty good. This new girl is really nice. She looks like Megan fox. But I lost as lot of confidence. I haven't had sex with her yet. But I want to . It's only been about 2 weeks. Anyways I posted a pic of us on FB. N my ex lost her ****. First she poked around. Then emailed a few times asking questions. I just send her a message that she sent me stating " my life is non of your business". Then I got silence for a few weeks. Now my ex is posting nasty **** about both of us. And calling the new girl a slut. N is threatening with my kid. N she even sent the new girl pictures of her all done up n looking slutty. Wtf? I asked her what her deal was n she ghosted me?
preraph Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 Oh, settle down. Nobody likes to see their ex happy or even a reasonable facsimile of it. Everyone would prefer to think they're sitting around pining and regretting breaking up. You know it as well as I do. It's EGO. Men are even worse than women about letting the ego stuff get to them. You did the right thing flipping her text back to her about none ya business. But now what you need to do is block her from your social media so YOU can stop wondering what she thinks about what you are doing, and you need to stay off hers as well. You need to move on and as long as you're responding to her and letting her see your business, then you really can't say anything if she spews about it. Cut her off. 4
elaine567 Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 I think if she is indeed a narcissist or someone with a big ego or just an ex being a bit nosey, then perhaps the retort "my life is none of your business" was a bit too much and opened hostilities. It is now over a year, and perhaps had you been a bit nicer, then all this nonsense you are going through now, may never had happened. You poked the bear and the bear bit you back... I get she dumped you and cheated, but sometimes we need to be a bit cleverer when dealing with potential loose cannons. She no doubt doesn't want you back, she just doesn't want anyone else to have you, hence the aggro. It is not an uncommon problem with exes. As you have a baby together, then your life is not "none of her business" is it? Do you pay child support, do you share custody?
Author Nosoul Posted November 29, 2019 Author Posted November 29, 2019 I think if she is indeed a narcissist or someone with a big ego or just an ex being a bit nosey, then perhaps the retort "my life is none of your business" was a bit too much and opened hostilities. It is now over a year, and perhaps had you been a bit nicer, then all this nonsense you are going through now, may never had happened. You poked the bear and the bear bit you back... I get she dumped you and cheated, but sometimes we need to be a bit cleverer when dealing with potential loose cannons. She no doubt doesn't want you back, she just doesn't want anyone else to have you, hence the aggro. It is not an uncommon problem with exes. As you have a baby together, then your life is not "none of her business" is it? Do you pay child support, do you share custody? Yea I do pay child support n I do have my kid half time. Also the text that said my life is non of your business. Was just a screen shot of the text she sent me .I have her blocked on everything except Hotmail because that's how we communicate. N it was her who searched us down n started poking us. Im just trying to figure out why she's so bitter about me moving on when she told me to move on.
basil67 Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 I realise that you want to understand, but trying to make sense of the nonsensical will just leave you chasing your tail. Don't spend more time trying to figure her out because you'll never have a satisfactory answer - just focus on your new life without her.
Soak Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 (edited) She wants to think she is desirable to every male around, including you (who she no longer wants). She has her nose out of joint because there is one single man on this planet who does not think she's the bees knees. Quite funny when you think about it. The harrassment is not however, particularly of this new, innocent woman (who you should be aiming to protect btw). Try to refrain from posting anything personal or new r/ship related on SM. People can not be trusted enough to be respectful or happy for people these days. Edited November 29, 2019 by Soak 3
elaine567 Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 A year is not long, she kicked you out of your home, you were the dumpee, 8 years is a long time to be together, and she is the mother of your child. Do you still have feelings for her? I would not be surprised if you still do. I know the best way to get over someone is to date someone new, but is it really fair to catapult this nice new girl directly into this chaos with your ex. A child, a baby and a crazy ex... great fun. As your ex is going nowhere due to your baby, then you need to try to make some sort of peace with your ex, otherwise any woman you do meet is always going to eventually run a mile.
d0nnivain Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 There's a song called I Can't Get Over You Getting Over Me. She wanted you to pine for her forever. When you didn't she got upset. You can't be total NC because you share a child. Continue to ignore whatever nonsense she's doing. Live your life. Be good to your child. 2
Marc878 Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 Look up grey rocking and parelle parenting. In cases like this it's your best path. BTW as you reflect back I hope you see you should have dumped her for her first affair. Wake up to your new reality and deal with it firmly. 1
preraph Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 I stick to what I said earlier about everyone hates their ex happy, but it's also possible she really did think your new gf looks cheap or whatever. This does two things. One, it insults her to think you'd go from her to that. Two, it sets up a reason for her to fight her meeting the kids down the road. All the more reason to have her blocked from seeing anything.
Highndry Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 You're way too nice. If a woman cheated on me and dumped me then contacted me like that, I'd straight up tell her "I found a much nicer, more beautiful woman. Now leave me the **** alone."
Mr. Lucky Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 Im just trying to figure out why she's so bitter about me moving on when she told me to move on. She seems unbalanced. How is she in caring for your child? Mr. Lucky
schlumpy Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 Im just trying to figure out why she's so bitter about me moving on when she told me to move on. If after living with her for so long and having a child you can not answer that question then I don't believe it is answerable. She's doing it because she wants to.
Blind-Sided Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 I think if she is indeed a narcissist or someone with a big ego or just an ex being a bit nosey, then perhaps the retort "my life is none of your business" was a bit too much and opened hostilities. It is now over a year, and perhaps had you been a bit nicer, then all this nonsense you are going through now, may never had happened. You poked the bear and the bear bit you back... I get she dumped you and cheated, but sometimes we need to be a bit cleverer when dealing with potential loose cannons. ......... I agree with Elaine on this one. First of all... you are 100% right. It's none of her biz. But, if she's a bit on a whacky side... then for your own sanity... chose your words carefully. Since you have a kid together... it's a forever situation. I'm the same way with my ex. I think she's not very stable... not to the point where she has issues functioning... but to the point that I'm not sure what version of her will show up to the house. (because of kids) Last sunday, the nice/logical version showed up, and we talked for 15 minutes and got a bunch accomplished. (nice since it was before T-giving) But todays conversations have been questionable, because she is still trying to put me in the middle of the issues she, and my older daughter are having. Basically I said she should be talking to her daughter, and she says I just need to tell our daughter. (trying to make me the bad guy) Anyway... I know it sucks sometimes... but you need to be the bigger man, and just suck it up for the sake of your kid... and if the ex confronts you about your new relationships... just ignore them. (if it's electronic communication) If it's in real life... call the police. Good luck.
spiderowl Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 If she is genuinely a narcissist, then everything centres around her. The minute it doesn't, she will make it known she is unhappy at losing the attention. Retorting with a quote from her was probably not a good idea but I can understand why you would feel like that. You feel she mistreated you so it's all fair enough. As others have said though, you and she have a baby in common so it's going to be hard work to keep a reasonable relationship with her - I do wish you good luck on that. Your new girlfriend sounds nice and just what you need. She will be concerned about getting involved if you have a vengeful ex so you will need to reassure her that your ex is probably just venting at the moment and that you will be there for your girlfriend if she needs you. I wish you all the best with your new girlfriend.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 1, 2019 Posted December 1, 2019 You've already answered your own question, OP. You yourself said she has an enormous ego. That's all this is about. She wanted to think you were still lusting after her, and maybe someday be open to a third reconciliation if this new boyfriend doesn't work out. Ignore that nonsense. But, I have to wonder: did you want some sort of reaction from her? You say you're scared of dating again, yet you're already posting a picture of a brand new picture of a woman you've only been dating 14 days online. That seems contradictory to me, and does make me question if you were hoping your ex would see it and react in a way that fuels your hope for reconciliation. I can't fathom why else you would go public so soon on the internet when you're otherwise nervous about dating someone new.
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