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How often I should reply?


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Posted (edited)

is a day too long? for example, replying 10 pm today of a message from 10 pm yesterday from Tinder. The person replied within 1-2 hours though in the past few days. Now he is not replying after 2 hours.

 

How would he interpret this? am I bad? I don't mean too. I am just nervous. He seems so good. I am scared of losing his interest already. I don't know how to deal with a man. I am always afraid I will say something wrong. I said something wrong at work today too, so I have self doubt.

 

so I procrastinate...

Edited by Springsummer
Posted

Get him of that pedestal. No sense getting nervous around some dude that you barely know.

 

Only time will tell how he interprets your long gap after his being consistent. That said, if he's got a bit of interest from more than one woman, you haven't done yourself any favours.

  • Like 1
Posted

If you always wait a day to reply, I would assume you're not interested. It's fine if it happens once or twice, people are busy, but if it's all the time like that I would see it as a red flag

Posted

Haha I’ve just posted a thread that has a link to this topic :D. To be honest as a guy if a girl took a day to respond but it wasn’t a feature I’d not worry too much. If it becomes a habit OR they take more than a day then that’s when you start wondering. What did it for me was they were taking 3-4 days and I could see on WhatsApp they were regularly online. So essentially ignoring you. That’s a different bag.

 

I can’t explain it but I just get a feeling if comms are authentic even if it means delays in responses. I’m quite perceptive and can just tell if something’s off or not or if someone’s playing games. You just get that feeling.

  • Like 2
Posted

Do not play games. You don't need a watch to time the reply. If you hear it come in & have a moment to reply, go ahead. If you are not by your phone, don't feel compelled to check.

 

Personally I always disable notification features from websites / apps. I go on them when I have time. If I'm busy that may be hours. If I'm bored I may be there constantly. But I am not a slave to the constant ding of my phone. Half the time it's on silent in my purse on the shelf in my office.

 

You cannot judge the quality of somebody's interest based solely on their response time. Stop trying to. If the person is replying especially before you meet, it's all good.

  • Like 2
Posted
Get him of that pedestal. No sense getting nervous around some dude that you barely know.

 

.

 

I agree with the above. Why be afraid of this guy losing interest? There's plenty more men out there. This isn't the last one.

  • Like 2
Posted

well if you suffer from anxiety, yes he and other people will take your behavior the wrong way/ think you are being cold, rude, uninterested. Plus you over analyze and self doubt. You are your own worst enemy. So everything that you are doing, do the opposite. If you worry, stop worrying, if you are hesitant to message, then message right away.....just do it. Stop fighting with yourself.

  • Like 2
Posted

Regarding the anxiety about saying something stupid...we all say stupid things. We all put our foot in it. We all have things not work out how we wanted them to. Go in with expectations that these things WILL happen and then you won't be so troubled when they do. You just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going.

 

Likewise with you being too nervous to smile because of how your smile may look.

I understand the smile thing - when I smile, my top lip pulls up so that a lot of my gum shows. I promise you, nobody cares. Having a gummy smile is far better than never smiling.

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  • Author
Posted

I think I am also scare. I am too use to be alone. In fact, that's all I know. unknowns frightens me. what the hell am I supposed to do with another person? one more reason to procrastinate.

Posted

What would you LIKE to do with another person? How do you imagine what being in a relationship would bring to the table?

Posted
I think I am also scare. I am too use to be alone. In fact, that's all I know. unknowns frightens me. what the hell am I supposed to do with another person? one more reason to procrastinate.

 

 

 

 

What so no long relationships ss ?

Posted
I think I am also scare. I am too use to be alone. In fact, that's all I know. unknowns frightens me. what the hell am I supposed to do with another person? one more reason to procrastinate.

 

Are you sure you really want a partner in your life? Are people in your life insisting you find a partner but you don't really want one? If so, there is nothing wrong with not being partnered. Plenty of people live happy lives without one. If you are this frightened your body and mine may be telling you no.

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