ThoughtsOnFire Posted November 27, 2019 Posted November 27, 2019 About 6 -8 months back, I broke up with my ex girlfriend for a lot of reasons. She constantly caused arguments with me for no reason, every time I tried to walk away, she threatened to kill her self, she lied to me on several occasions, she made fake accounts appearing as a girl and messaged me on it, then claimed I was cheating even though I never replied. I can keep going but these are the major ones. Now, I got a call after 4-6 months of not seeing her by her step dad, he told me to pay up the $18,000 loan she pulled out and supposedly gave me. I was first confused and then realised that she manipulated them into believing that she has given this money to me. I tried calling her multiple times, but she kept hanging up. She couldn’t face me. I then spoke to her mum (btw she’s always hated me), she told me that I owe her daughter $18,000 and I need to pay it, I asked for a single piece of evidence that links me to any of this, her reply was: “you’re to smart for it”. We went up and fourth in the phone call, she wouldn’t listen to me and kept playing that hate game. I spoke to my ex’s best mate after this as we’re still mates. She told me that it will backfire on her as she is lying about all this I contacted the police after all this, they recommended getting an intervention order. I told myself to wait a little bit to see if they’ll contact me again and they haven’t in three days now. What is the best way to maybe catch her out in her lie? or do I not even bother with this psychopath? Thanks you
Mr. Lucky Posted November 27, 2019 Posted November 27, 2019 or do I not even bother with this psychopath? Don't bother. Unless she can provide a signed document or proof of an oral agreement, it's all nonsense. I'd block her and any number associated with her... Mr. Lucky 1
ajequals Posted November 27, 2019 Posted November 27, 2019 You really don't want to respond to this anymore. ,good thing you got away when you did. WOW
TheFinalWord Posted November 27, 2019 Posted November 27, 2019 She's trying to find a way to make you contact her. The thing you need to ask, is why did you take so long to get rid of her? That's insane behavior and I would be doing some soul searching why you tolerated that behavior for one second....
d0nnivain Posted November 27, 2019 Posted November 27, 2019 Do NOTHING. Everything you say here will be used as evidence that you owe her the money. Silence & retreat are your best options. If she sues you, get a lawyer. If she doesn't go that far, you know this was all a ruse.
schlumpy Posted November 27, 2019 Posted November 27, 2019 Is there a chance here that she may rile up her family & friends so much that they may start harassing you? Perhaps even take it to a physical level? It doesn't take much effort to slash tires and key cars. Lots of ways to keep you looking over your shoulder. 1
Art_Critic Posted November 27, 2019 Posted November 27, 2019 I'd go full blast and get the intervention order, this whole scenario isn't good.. people get killed over stuff like this. 18k is a lot of money and the Step Dad and Mom may be going to try and take it out on you one way or another. Take the Police advice to the T and you also might consider getting a lawyer if they try to make you pay 1
Art_Critic Posted November 27, 2019 Posted November 27, 2019 Is there a chance here that she may rile up her family & friends so much that they may start harassing you? Isn't that what the phone calls were already doing? She has had 2 of his family members call him and harass him, the next level IS physical since they don't have any documentation for a legal avenue, unless they forge it.
thefooloftheyear Posted November 27, 2019 Posted November 27, 2019 Something doesn't seem right here... Are you implying that she never gave you any money at all and she is now claiming out of the clear blue that you 'borrowed" the exact sum of $18K?? Don't get me wrong...Often times people "give" money to SO's, then when a breakup occurs it then transitions into a loan....This is more likely the reason for the contact... I don't know the laws overseas, but here if you give/gift someone the money, you cant then change the terms unless there is proof that it was in fact a loan that was meant to be repaid...In other words if she did give you that money and there was no agreed upon terms of repayment, then she would be stuck.. TFY 1
Author ThoughtsOnFire Posted November 27, 2019 Author Posted November 27, 2019 Not really, they’re not violent people . They even called me on a private number because they were scared, I assume. They’re not really connected in that way in terms of knowing people etc They never made threats or anything, they just asked me to make the payment and didn’t say anything in relation to “if I didn’t” this will happen and so on. This money claim was out of the blue, I don’t even know how the topic started and how I got involved. I don’t even know how they came to a conclusion that it was me without no evidence etc. I think now they realised their daughter had been lying the whole time and they haven’t contacted me, I don’t think they will anyway. They know where I live and I know where they live, so if they push buttons I’d will also, plain and simple. The issue is, they don’t even have a single text, voice recording, cctv footage or anything of any kind of me receiving, accepting, taking this money. They’re just pure liars. I’m not losing sleep over this, but I hope they take it to court somehow and my innocence gets proved.
Author ThoughtsOnFire Posted November 27, 2019 Author Posted November 27, 2019 I’m not implying anything, I am saying that she pulled out a loan got scared of the reaction of her parents put the blame on me.
mark clemson Posted November 27, 2019 Posted November 27, 2019 I contacted the police after all this, they recommended getting an intervention order. Yikes, what a trainwreck! Sounds like you know what to do if any of them call again.
usa1ah Posted November 27, 2019 Posted November 27, 2019 I would follow the recommendation of the police. They have more then likely seen something of this nature before.
FMW Posted November 27, 2019 Posted November 27, 2019 You haven't said (in your posts) straight out that you didn't borrow any money from her - just that they have no proof, you don't know why they think you did, etc. But I assume you didn't or you wouldn't have made this post. So all you have to tell them is I didn't take any money from her, I have no idea what she's talking about. You talked to the police. Follow their advice and then forget about it.
Author ThoughtsOnFire Posted November 28, 2019 Author Posted November 28, 2019 My apologies, yes I never borrowed money of any sort, yet alone a loan. I don’t know if they were trying suss me out to see if she gave the loan she pulled out to me or if she spent it on her self, they haven’t contacted me in 5 days, so I highly doubt they still think I have something to do with this. I haven’t had tires slashed, threats or any unusual activity occur. I’m scared to fall in love again and that’s something I need to accept for the rest of my life.
Author ThoughtsOnFire Posted November 28, 2019 Author Posted November 28, 2019 This matter occurred out of the blue, I didn’t even know she pulled out a loan until I got the call that morning, prior to that I didn’t even know what she did on a daily basis, yet alone pulling out a loan.
Highndry Posted November 28, 2019 Posted November 28, 2019 (edited) ...Don't get me wrong...Often times people "give" money to SO's, then when a breakup occurs it then transitions into a loan....This is more likely the reason for the contact... I don't know the laws overseas, but here if you give/gift someone the money, you cant then change the terms unless there is proof that it was in fact a loan that was meant to be repaid...In other words if she did give you that money and there was no agreed upon terms of repayment, then she would be stuck.. TFY Long, long time ago I dated a wealthy gal. She loved spending money on me. She'd even give me her debit card and tell me to take cash out of the bank. I'd decline but she was very adamant about it. Things went rocky after 3 years or so and I wanted out. I was living with her in one of her multiple houses and told her I was buying my own place and leaving. This upset her. After I moved into my own place and it became clear to her that things were not going her way, she started bringing up everything she ever paid for, wanting to be reimbursed for things. It was extremely unattractive, but I obliged and paid her back every cent for everything I could think of. I was sending her checks of $1,000 here, $1,000 there just because. I didn't owe her a dime, but it felt so good to call her bluff and actually repay her because she figured I wouldn't and she could hassle me about it. Every gift she ever gave me went to the Goodwill. Gross. I hate people like that. Edited November 28, 2019 by Highndry
usa1ah Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 I knew that you had nothing to do with the loan. Your ex can still take you to court claiming she gave you the money. Protect your self. 1
mark clemson Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 ^^^ a good point. If she's whacked enough to do all that other stuff, she may be whacked enough to try that as well. I’m scared to fall in love again and that’s something I need to accept for the rest of my life. Don't be. People fall in love with the wrong person all the time. But they eventually move on and find someone new. That good part happens all the time too.
spiderowl Posted November 30, 2019 Posted November 30, 2019 I think in court she'd have to prove she gave you the money. All the court will see is that she took out the loan (this will be documented by the loan company). If you have no transactions in your bank account(s) of receiving that amount of money or similar that cannot be accounted for, then it is highly unlikely she could convince a judge that you have the money. If there is nothing in writing, there is no proof.
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