willnotdoit Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Had a one night stand with a guy who I met through a mutual friend. We were incredibly touchy, before and post-sex. After sex, we laid by each other and just talked for almost 2 hours. We then went out to the lounge room and cuddled up on the couch talking about a million things. He then was hungry and offered for us both to get some take in. I was sort of mentioning that I should head home and let him sleep but he kept saying, I can stay for a bit longer. We were doing the footsie and everything. When I last said it while we were cuddling on the couch, he sort of grabbed me and told me to lay on top of him. He then fell asleep for a short while. Never had a guy that genuinely wanted to chat post-sex. Thoughts?
PegNosePete Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Never had a guy that genuinely wanted to chat post-sex. Thoughts? My thoughts: you have now. Now if you're wondering what this means, I guess only time will tell... 2
explosivetomato Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 If you like the guy then it’s a better sign than him getting up and leaving as soon as he’s finished, but o it’s own it doesn’t mean anything. When I was in my 20s I did this with more than once with women I had no intention of starting a relationship with. Equally I’ve had women not interested in me do the same.
d0nnivain Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 You start by characterizing this as a ONS. If that is true, you should expect not to hear from again. If you want it to be something more, reach out & organize another date. Since you share a mutual friend odds are you will see this guy again. If you do nothing I suppose this could fall into a pattern where you hook up when you randomly bump into each other making this a FWB thing but beware of that pattern if you want a relationship; he may not value somebody who falls into his bed that easily. Again all this depends on your goal.
smackie9 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 On the rare occasion a ONS can lead to something more serious. 2
OnlyHonesty Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 I wouldn't read into anything that happens immediately before, or after sex... 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 You will need to wait it out longer and see what unfolds in the coming weeks. Touching a lot after sex and wanting to hang out longer can be a good sign, yes, but it doesn't necessarily mean it wasn't a one-night stand or something a FWB wouldn't do. When I was single, I had been with a couple guys who were just generally affectionate and not looking for anything more than sex.
snowboy91 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 On the rare occasion a ONS can lead to something more serious. Both of my serious relationships started with the intention of it being a ONS. You go in just expecting something fun, and realising that the person you're having fun with turns out to be someone you click with on a level that isn't purely sexual. Don't read into it too much at this point though - just enjoy and see what happens. It's really no different to having your first date - the fact that you had sex doesn't push the odds too strongly in either direction IMO (it doesn't make him more likely to commit, but it doesn't guarantee he only wants sex).
basil67 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 I joke about my 27 year relationship as being the world's longest ONS. That said, anything can happen after one. He may be interested in casual sex arrangement, a relationship or never see you again. Only time will tell. 1
RecentChange Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Yeah .... It depends, try not to read too much into anything. I am married to a man I thought I was having a ONS with! We hit it off! On the other hand, I spent a lot of time chatting with, snuggled on the couch with, or would order in food with my long term FWB. We enjoyed sex together, and hanging out before or after sex - but it was never anything more than friendly when it comes to depth of emotion.
princessaurora Posted November 26, 2019 Posted November 26, 2019 I attempted to have a ONS with a frat guy a few months after I started college. It was just one of these things I wanted to check off my list. Surprisingly we ended up dating for a few months. But I eventually discovered he wanted more intimacy than I was capable of at that age. Spooning me all night and refusing to let me have my clothes back till morning). He also would get frustrated if I was drunk for sex. He wanted me sober. My friends tease me till this day that i'm the only person they know that sought out a guy for a wham bam and epically failed. (I was 18/he was 21) / But at the least this guy doesnt sound like a jerk. since he wanted the pleasure of your company afterwards, plus with him pushing 30 he may have passed through the meaningless sex phase already and is open to something more. But then some men never grow up. I know a guy in his 40's who still screws a different girl almost every weekend and throws her out/leaves her place right afterwards. They're basically free prostitiutes to him, but at that age, I would hope he's in the minority. So, as others said, only time will tell, but I do see potential.
mortensorchid Posted November 26, 2019 Posted November 26, 2019 I will say this about this guy ... He wanted something a bit more than a rocket ride. Does he still now that you have done the deed? It's kind of sad that we are like this (not you and him in particular, but people in general). When I was a kid I thought love and sex were the same thing. I know, innocence and inexperience. But hey, it's what it is.
Saracena Posted November 28, 2019 Posted November 28, 2019 More importantly how did things end after this and did he ask to see you again? 1
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