john9999 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Somehow or another I got a profile with a couple of local matchmaker service people. These services are real expensive even exceeding $10,000 to sign up. I have never signed up or given any money to one of the services. Every once in a while I get hit up to see if I’m available to go on a date with one of their female paying clients. But here’s the caveat, you can’t see a photo of her and she doesn’t get to see a photo of me before the date. I did one of these dates earlier this year and could’ve saved myself the time and money had I seen her photo first. She just wasn’t my type. The only reason I would even consider it is that given the money that these women are paying they are definitely motivated to date and find a guy for a relationship. I had 2 of these invites last week, turned them both down because of the no photo policy. They say it’s for confidentiality, but that just doesn’t sit well with me. What are your thoughts?
chillii Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 (edited) Well , personally , it it was me l'd probably try one if her description sounded like someone l would very much like , but l wouldn't keep going with 2,3 or 4. l'd find that very uncomfortable and stressful going blind like that. Not to mention the time waste because without more to go on chances are you'd be wasting your time anyway. Edited November 25, 2019 by chillii
Erik30 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Nobody would probably be going on dates if they showed pictures to you. Most people immediately know if it's a yes or no when they see the other person, so it seems they want to avoid that. (Just like that one experience you had) It would look bad for their company if nothing ever happened. I wouldn't do it, but that's just me. I have to know what the other person looks like, or else It could be a waste of time for both of us. Also, it might not be fair but I kind of automatically assume she's probably not that attractive if they're "hiding" her picture
schlumpy Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Very interesting. Is this service available in the states? I assume there are people that do this type of thing in religious and cultural groups that have arranged marriages but I didn't know that it was offered to the general population. I don't consider it a dating service. I was always under the impression it was for marriage minded people. I got some googling to do. "Matchmaker, Matchmaker make me a match Find me a find, catch me catch"
elaine567 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 As you have not paid, the objective is not to find you a match. The objective is to give these women a date. The agency will be struggling to find suitable paying men for some of these women, hence why you get a call. As these women are paying large sums of money to keep their dating life a secret, then the last thing they want is to put their photo out into general circulation. 1
schlumpy Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 As these women are paying large sums of money to keep their dating life a secret, then the last thing they want is to put their photo out into general circulation. Two conditions I can think of that might warrant secrecy are fabulously rich and have recognizable public personas. Any others?
elaine567 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Some people who may be successful in other areas, may be embarrassed or feel humiliated by the fact they cannot meet anyone "naturally" ie IRL or on OLD. Their attraction to the opposite sex is lacking or they are just too busy or have no interest in searching for themselves. They don't really want to advertise their "inadequacy".
BaileyB Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 I think in the “olden days,” pictures probably were not shared for confidentiality reasons. But times, they are a changing... Remember, these services existed prior to online dating - and online dating has changed the ball game. These kind of services seem a little antiquated these days, hard to imagine that people will spend that much money when they can go online and have a bunch of matches in their inbox before the sun sets. And yet, there must still be a market of people willing to pay - possibly those who are not comfortable with online dating and/or are swayed by the promise of “better” matches.
elaine567 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 ...hard to imagine that people will spend that much money when they can go online and have a bunch of matches in their inbox before the sun sets. I guess they want to meet a "better" class of people and not have to bother filtering out the riff raff... 1
alphamale Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 i'm in if the chick is paying for dinner 2
d0nnivain Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 I had 2 of these invites last week, turned them both down because of the no photo policy. They say it’s for confidentiality, but that just doesn’t sit well with me. What are your thoughts? If you have little else going on & are being "professionally" paired with these women over shared interests & life stages, I'd show up for an hour or two. What do you have to lose? If it's a really p.i.t.a. or costs you a lot of money, fine, don't go. If you are really that miffed about no picture, then ask the service to remove you from their rolls. Somebody took the time to wade through your profile & send you the invite. Spare them the aggravation if your policy is to never attend without the picture 1st.
BaileyB Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 I guess they want to meet a "better" class of people and not have to bother filtering out the riff raff... To be fair, that’s exactly how the companies market themselves... 1
lurker74 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 I would definitely go on the date. To me, it's no lose. When I OLD, I know a bit about the woman...what she looks like, her sense of humor, situation, etc. So then when I meet her, I feel bad if there's immediately no chance of a second date. I've invested a little and asked her to invest a little. In this case, I've invested nothing and am in no way responsible for her investment, so that means I can just have fun and hope for the best. I have no trouble with first dates and consider them fun, even if I know they won't lead anywhere, so, yes, I'd go. Having said that, I have a predilection toward thin women (I know, what a shock). I would sacrifice some beauty and some aspects of personality in favor of thin or athletic (not to the exclusion of intelligence or humor, but still won't likely find someone heavier sexually attractive). So if I went on one and she were heavy set, I'd call back the service and tell them that if you want me to meet someone, great, but don't waste their time if they are "a few extra" as some systems call them. That would probably mean I'd never get another call and that would be OK too. I know I sound shallow but I've learned the hard way that you can't fit a round peg in a square hole so I've stopped trying. 1
alphamale Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Having said that, I have a predilection toward thin women (I know, what a shock). I would sacrifice some beauty and some aspects of personality in favor of thin or athletic (not to the exclusion of intelligence or humor, but still won't likely find someone heavier sexually attractive). but lurker74 those thin women are in high demand (and they know it). are you talking size 00 thin or more like size 08 thin? I've dated a lot of thin girls and many of them think their sh*t doesn't smell. A few are ok but they are few and far between
max3732 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 How do you get invited to go on dates for no cost on a matchmaker service where the women pay? Sounds like it would be a no lose situation. Can't you just do quick dates so if you don't like them it's over quickly? I once went out with someone without seeing a body shot and she was extremely overweight. I knew I wasn't going to date her but still enjoyed the company.
elaine567 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 So if I went on one and she were heavy set, I'd call back the service and tell them that if you want me to meet someone, great, but don't waste their time if they are "a few extra" as some systems call them. That would probably mean I'd never get another call and that would be OK too. The agency is not there to find him a date, he is not paying them any money They are just wanting guys/girl to make up the numbers, so that they don't have to tell paying clients, "Sorry, but we have found no-one for you." I guess it works probably a bit like an identity parade, there will be the "suspect" ie the favourite match and then a whole load of other guys will be brought in to probably make the favourite stand out and appear more appealing I also guess if they are genuine matchmakers, they want to find genuine matches, so they don't really want clients and their dates making snap decisions purely on looks, as that is what OLD does best.
alphamale Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 how much are these women paying for these services?
elaine567 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 These services are real expensive even exceeding $10,000 to sign up. First post in the thread..
Foxhall Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Is there a possible market for this in terms of an older clientele, I had someone ask me to back them on a business venture based on a concept like this, I thought it was a ridiculous idea, why would a client outlay so much for such a limited pool of potential suitors, maybe I am missing something. I am curious however how this date might go for you and what type of lady you will meet.
preraph Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Are you rich? Because a lot of those matchmaker things for women are trying to find a rich man for the woman. I don't think they sound very legit, though, because what do they know about you besides that you're a warm body and probably saw YOUR photo somewhere. So I'd ask them, What makes you think I'm a match? What do you even know about me?
elaine567 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Foxhall Have you never seen " The Millionaire Matchmaker" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patti_Stanger 1
schlumpy Posted November 26, 2019 Posted November 26, 2019 Are you rich? Because a lot of those matchmaker things for women are trying to find a rich man for the woman. That reminded me where I saw this and it was in China. The women had paid a huge amount of money to be introduced to a rich man and I remember being very impressed with the women's academic accomplishments. I never gave a thought to it happening here. After all, it's China. Just a bit ethnocentric on part.
SumGuy Posted November 26, 2019 Posted November 26, 2019 ... I had 2 of these invites last week, turned them both down because of the no photo policy. They say it’s for confidentiality, but that just doesn’t sit well with me. What are your thoughts? You can tell them about your last experience and have them ask their client if it would be OK to share their photo otherwise it is a no from you. You of course must offer to share yours. Somehow I'm pretty certain the women are getting a look at you first. They can say privacy all they want but clearly you met some criteria and it is pretty presumptuous to ask you to take time out of your life to meet a person site unseen. I assume since they are coming to you to meet someone site unseen the date is paid for by the match maker. If not, this is just pure BS.
SumGuy Posted November 26, 2019 Posted November 26, 2019 ... As these women are paying large sums of money to keep their dating life a secret, then the last thing they want is to put their photo out into general circulation. Of course as soon as you meet them the cat is out of the bag...so the benefit seems slim unless you have to sing an NDA before the date.
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