Happy Lemming Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Also he doesnt live in my state. He is here on buisness. Ah... now we have "the rest of the story" (a la Paul Harvey) That was just a hit it and quit it, ONS - oral. He is going home, you'll probably only hear from him when he comes back in town for future business trips. He just texted to keep the door open for the next time he is in town. 1
Author Britney25 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Posted November 25, 2019 Eh, a guy throwing around "baby" when you barely know him has never been a positive sign for me. That is telling. I have yet to meet a man with gentlemanly characteristics and more sincere intentions who pulls out "baby" this early on. You can see if he tries to continue the conversation, or you could simply ask him how he's doing, but I don't think I'd put all my eggs in this basket. I didn't double text him honestly I did text him the day before that I would love to see him before he leaves and on Sunday he just texted hi baby. I am a little cautious because I did have oral sex with him on the first date , so yes everything happened so quickly.
Author Britney25 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Posted November 25, 2019 What does that have to do with anything? Well that maybe all he really wanted was sex from me?
Author Britney25 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Posted November 25, 2019 Ah... now we have "the rest of the story" (a la Paul Harvey) That was just a hit it and quit it, ONS - oral. He is going home, you'll probably only hear from him when he comes back in town for future business trips. He just texted to keep the door open for the next time he is in town. I guess I am a little embarrassed that that's what happened with the oral we had. So tell me how I should proceed if he does text me today to invite me to dinner. What should my reaction be? Can I rebound from the oral?
Happy Lemming Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 So tell me how I should proceed if he does text me today to invite me to dinner. What should my reaction be? Can I rebound from the oral? You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube... You've had oral sex, if he does contact you before he heads home from his business trip, he is going to expect more oral sex or an upgrade to vaginal sex. Do you want to have sex with him, again?? If so, call him (don't text) and invite him over.
Author Britney25 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Posted November 25, 2019 You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube... You've had oral sex, if he does contact you before he heads home from his business trip, he is going to expect more oral sex or an upgrade to vaginal sex. Do you want to have sex with him, again?? If so, call him (don't text) and invite him over. I wanted him to be interested in me for more than just casual sex. We were in the moment and it happened. I guess we were not meant to be because I am definitely not ready for vaginal sex especially if he doesnt see me for more than that.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 My guess is that is was just looking for a bit of action, OP. It's fine to go however far you want on a first date or to have casual sex if you're into it. You do need to have realistic expectations for what happens thereafter with a dude who's only in town on business, though - especially when he's giving off serious player vibes with "baby" already.
Happy Lemming Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 We were in the moment and it happened. I understand... No judgement here. I've had sex with plenty of women on the first date. Some I called back and some I didn't. And yes I've had "no strings attached" sex while on trips out of town. As far as the out of town encounters, there was never really an expectation that it would turn into something after I went home. Does he frequent your area often (for work)??
Author Britney25 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Posted November 25, 2019 I understand... No judgement here. I've had sex with plenty of women on the first date. Some I called back and some I didn't. And yes I've had "no strings attached" sex while on trips out of town. As far as the out of town encounters, there was never really an expectation that it would turn into something after I went home. Does he frequent your area often (for work)?? No he doesnt come here often unless he will have a reason he told me. He was chasing me for a year before he decided to visit me and stay for 4 days. He was a charmer I must say but I felt really strong chemistry and I felt so comfortable with him. He told me I am the first woman he felt comfortable with without having a lot of drinks, whatever that meant. He kept talking about the future with me. After the date he said let's go back to my place , I told him that I'm not having sex with him, he said you will when you're ready I just want to make out in private. Well oral happened and after he walked me out and said he wants to see me again tomorrow. Well tomorrow came and he sends me a text later in the day saying he is feeling unwell. I tell him i understand but would love to see him before he leaves. He said yes baby Monday would be great (Tuesday he is leaving) . Now on Sunday he texted me just hi baby! And nothing after I replied. Today is Monday and so far silence. Either he will text me later and ask me out or nothing, which I think he won't. I dont know I just have this vibe he won't. Maybe he was disappointed that full blown sex didnt happen and he knows I'm not going to give in?
Author Britney25 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Posted November 25, 2019 My guess is that is was just looking for a bit of action, OP. It's fine to go however far you want on a first date or to have casual sex if you're into it. You do need to have realistic expectations for what happens thereafter with a dude who's only in town on business, though - especially when he's giving off serious player vibes with "baby" already. I think you are right that he is a player and I was naive unfortunately. I'm just disappointed because we have been talking for a year and ai really didnt take him seriously until he actually came to visit me and I was pleasantly surprised the connection and chemistry we had. But yes he did call me baby throughout the date as well.
Happy Lemming Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Well tomorrow came and he sends me a text later in the day saying he is feeling unwell. Oldest blow off line in the book... "I'm sick" Nope, you will not hear from him again.
Author Britney25 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Posted November 25, 2019 Oldest blow off line in the book... "I'm sick" Nope, you will not hear from him again. Ok but that was on Saturday. On Sunday he texted me saying hi. Why is he keeping me on the hook?
kendahke Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 How long have you two been involved with one another? Are you two exclusive? On Sunday he texted me saying hi. Why is he keeping me on the hook? Because you won't take the hook out of your cheek.
Happy Lemming Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Why is he keeping me on the hook? Maybe you are "plan b", if "plan a" finding a different woman doesn't work out, he has you as a backup. Oral sex is better than no sex. I'll bet you my last dollar if you had texted... "Its a shame you are sick, I really wanted to have sex with you today before you went home" he would make a miraculous recovery and be at your door in no time.
Author Britney25 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Posted November 25, 2019 (edited) How long have you two been involved with one another? Are you two exclusive? Because you won't take the hook out of your cheek. No we are not exclusive, we just were chatting on and off for a year. It was the first time we met. Edited November 25, 2019 by Britney25
Author Britney25 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Posted November 25, 2019 Maybe you are "plan b", if "plan a" finding a different woman doesn't work out, he has you as a backup. Oral sex is better than no sex. I'll bet you my last dollar if you had texted... "Its a shame you are sick, I really wanted to have sex with you today before you went home" he would make a miraculous recovery and be at your door in no time. Good point but how does he not know if I don't want to have sex with him? Maybe I do? Why would he play sick. He could just ask me to his place ?
Happy Lemming Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Why would he play sick. Maybe he is looking for something better than oral sex, perhaps there is another "baby" in town that he is attempting to sleep with?? Me... personally, I'd much rather have vaginal sex over oral sex. So if there a chance for vaginal sex, I'll exhaust all avenues before I settle for oral sex (which is better than no sex at all).
ExpatInItaly Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 If it took a year for a meet-up to finally happen, and even then it was only one date, you are going to find that actually having relationship with this guy is nearly impossible. I wouldn't waste more time or energy here. 1
Author Britney25 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Posted November 25, 2019 Maybe he is looking for something better than oral sex, perhaps there is another "baby" in town that he is attempting to sleep with?? Me... personally, I'd much rather have vaginal sex over oral sex. So if there a chance for vaginal sex, I'll exhaust all avenues before I settle for oral sex (which is better than no sex at all). (thanks for being patient with me btw ;-) It was also fingering , and he finished on my breasts I let him. So I'm guessing for him that was enough and he doesn't need any more from me?
kendahke Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 If it took a year for a meet-up to finally happen, and even then it was only one date, you are going to find that actually having relationship with this guy is nearly impossible. I wouldn't waste more time or energy here. This right here. OP, I thought you two had just started dating, hence the one date so far, but if it's been a year and this is the best you two can do? Yeah, this isn't going to pan out to be much. Neither of you appear to be arsed enough to make it more, going from what you've written.
h0000 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 He did not chase you for a year honey, that wasn’t chase when he was in another state. He was flirting with you at most, calling you babe and stuff. He did not do anything valuable other than sweet talking, which is .,,very low effort. He wanted sex from you right after the first date because he knows he won’t be seeing you again so he wanted the action soon as he can. You rejected so he settled for oral. None of the details you said changed anything unfortunately..what he said , what you did etc etc...none of them changed the fact that he is just playing. Are you even sure he doesn’t have a GF back home 1
Author Britney25 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Posted November 25, 2019 He did not chase you for a year honey, that wasn’t chase when he was in another state. He was flirting with you at most, calling you babe and stuff. He did not do anything valuable other than sweet talking, which is .,,very low effort. He wanted sex from you right after the first date because he knows he won’t be seeing you again so he wanted the action soon as he can. You rejected so he settled for oral. None of the details you said changed anything unfortunately..what he said , what you did etc etc...none of them changed the fact that he is just playing. Are you even sure he doesn’t have a GF back home Yes he does t have a girlfriend, he told me he ended a relationship some time ago. I wanted to take the risk and meet him because I am single and looking for a relationship, so you're damned if you say no and damned if you say yes right?
Author Britney25 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Posted November 25, 2019 This right here. OP, I thought you two had just started dating, hence the one date so far, but if it's been a year and this is the best you two can do? Yeah, this isn't going to pan out to be much. Neither of you appear to be arsed enough to make it more, going from what you've written. During the year when we talked and flirted he always wanted me to come to him. I said no he should come to me and he finally did. I thought his intentions were real but again I was naive. **** like this make me not excited anymore if a Man asks me out and I am genuinely excited to say yes.
Author Britney25 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Posted November 25, 2019 Men like this make me scared.
Happy Lemming Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Men like this make me scared. I think you should be more concerned about Long Distance Relationships/Dating. In my opinion, LDR's have extra challenges because of the distance apart, effort required (to meet) and travel expenses. 1 hour (drive) is my limit. Many years ago, I did try to date someone that lived 4-5 hours away, the drive was just too hard. She had moved to help take care of her aging father and we attempted to continue the relationship. It didn't work. Have you thought about dating someone local??
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