Sasperilla Posted October 2, 2005 Posted October 2, 2005 What would you guys do in this situation: You have an old friend who struggles with self-esteem, depression etc. A lot of the time when you see her it is hard work. Whenever you offer positive sympathy/advice it is met with a negative comment. It is hard work! At the moment the friend is depressed and worse than usual. She snaps a lot. My dilemma: Should I? - forget the friendship on the grounds that I ain't getting a lot out of it - see that I have a duty to keep it going (it's a friendship of 10 years) and support her - do I point out to her that it is not much fun being around her and hope it helps What would you do?
Boomerang Posted October 2, 2005 Posted October 2, 2005 None of the above. The last thing that someone who is depressed wants is A: someone being sympathetic. This only reinforces the belief in their problem. B: calling it off. This will make her depression even worse by giving her something to be depressed about. Forget that she has a problem, do something different with her so she has no time to think of problems. Try water skiing, ice skating, football training, hand gliding, parachuting, rock climbing or anything that sounds a bit mad
Author Sasperilla Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 That's a cool idea! It would stop us getting into deeply depressing conversations that always seem to end up in a down spiral too. I will try it! Sassy
Art_Critic Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 Being a friend is more about being there foir them than judging them. Some of my best friends I have had to learn to overlook things that I normally wouldn't tolerate because that is what being friends means.. It's acceptance
whichwayisup Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 Listen to her and just be there for her. If anything, try to open her eyes to therapy. Just DO nice things for her, bring her flowers or make her a meal. Just knowing you care I"m sure means alot to her. Maybe for your own protection, detach yourself abit...That way you aren't worrying about her and allowing her moods to bring you down. I know it's easier said than done, but you gotta turn it off. I agree with AC, especially if you've been friends for a long time. She may be like this forever, or maybe with therapy and meds she will improve.
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