Left feeling ...is he just not into me?

[Abfab]

So I met this guy on a dating app. Talked for a few days then he asked for my number and He seemed nice so I gave him it.

He would always leave at least a few hours before replying to me and sometimes he would read the message but not reply til the next day. Anyway we agreed to meet up for a drink last Monday and things were going well beforehand.

He’s there before me so when I get there he stands up and gives me a hug then buys me a drink. I think we got on well and we were both laughing and it seemed having a good time. He was telling me how I’ll need to come round to his to watch a movie he loves (he was like. I really mean watch the movie, not anything else). There was the occasional lull in the conversation but not much. He did check his phone once. But On the whole the conversation flowed well. I bought the second round of drinks and he was telling me about some of his past dating stories and he even mentioned one that he “doesn’t normally tell on a first date”. But sometimes he did move to be sitting against the wall and not facing me anymore. He seemed like a really nice chill guy though.

We both had work/uni the next day and were both getting a train home so we walked to the station and he sat with me until my train platform was up. Then gave me another hug and went to his train.

 

Then I heard nothing from him all day Tuesday and all day Wednesday. So I decided to text him on Wednesday evening just thanking him for the date and said I had a nice time and sorry if I was a bit shy or awkward, I can be like that when meeting someone new. He read it on the Wednesday night then replied Thursday afternoon saying something along the lines of “no worries, I had a good time too, don’t worry I don’t think you were awkward ”

 

It’s now Saturday and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t heard from him since then. A guy friend told me to read the message and not reply and if he’s keen he’ll text me again?

Is he not interested and I should just ignore the message and move on?

Or should I text him asking if he’s interested and wants to meet up again?

Or what?

Someone help please, I don’t have much experience

[smackie9]

He's not interested. It is with my experience, when a guy was interested in me, he would ask me out again the next day to make sure he had front spot on Saturday night. Your friend is right, the ball is this dude's court and he has done nothing since. Kick this guy to the curb.

 

 

What would have turned me off is that he mentioned going to his place to watch a movie during a first date. epic fail.

Edited November 23, 2019 by smackie9

[ExpatInItaly]

I wouldn't bother with this one, OP. He doesn't seem that interested.

[Lotsgoingon]

He's not interested ... and really I'm not sure you should be interested. He at one point faced away from you? ... sounds minor, but that's really odd for a first date.

 

And he has been slow to return your texts. Leave him alone. He's not interested. Would you be slow to return texts if you were really interested in someone?

 

He's doing you a good deed here ... because you want to up your game and not get all hopeful when a guy is slow to return texts after first date. And your summary reads as follows to me: he was nice ... had a pretty good time. That's a weak date.

 

You want to report that he was fantastic and the date was amazing. He checked his phone not at all ... or if he did, he explained that he needed to because mother was in the hospital (or the equivalent).

 

You want to read the energy of the date better. Not only is he distant ... but you aren't all that enthusiastic either. Let go and move on.

 

Oh ... NEVER apologize for how you were on a date. That's your insecurity talking there. We're all nervous on a date ... and on a mediocre date, you will be awkward. What are you apologizing for? Being human?

 

The right date for you ... would make you feel great ... not leave you worrying about if you were shy. There's nothing wrong with being shy or a little awkward.

[rjc149]

He's possibly playing aloof. I'm assuming you're college-aged, in your early 20s? There is a LOT of game-playing at that age. I would do things like this guy did at that age (and beyond). Answer my ringing phone mid-conversation, have closed-off body language, make pretty edgy remarks, not communicate for days after the date, all to tell her "I am not seeking your approval, I don't care if you like me or not, I don't need sex from you because I have 3 other girls in line behind you." All intended to make the girl wonder if I like her and chase me. College-aged girls are typically intrigued by this IDGAF utter non-neediness from men. Case in point, his aloof behavior is keeping him on your mind and is giving you the urge to chase him. So maybe he's playing this game.

 

There's the possibility that you didn't look like your dating profile photos. I'm not going to surmise, but just be honest with yourself if this is the case.

 

There's the possibility that your reaction to his invite over to his apartment communicated you were not DTF and were giving too much of a needy relationship vibe (the follow-up thank you text with the unnecessary apology corroborates this). Guys that age want sex.

 

Also, dates on a Monday night will rarely get flirty and sexual with work/school looming over the evening schedule. Try to make dates on weekends or Thursday evening happy hour.

 

Just my speculation. But, don't reach out to this guy again. Move on. He may or may not reach out to you again. And it's quite possible that he just wants to hook up.

[mortensorchid]

He's not interested in you. Move on and find someone else who is.