Savannah1990 Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 So, there's this male coworker that I never really payed attention to or really clicked with. I thought he was really good looking and hot, but nothing more, since we never talked and seen to kind of avoid each other. I would caught him a couple of times staring at me though. Then, all of a sudden, we had a drink with a few other coworkers. This hot coworker starts talking to me and make a few jokes. I was baffled, since I always thought he did not like me and several people said he was a though nut to Crack and unesponsive. We talked about 15 min. He smiled at me a lot. Next day he texted me with a certain article about music we mentioned the night before. I texted back, he texted me back and I texted him back. No reaction from him back, but that's OK. Next week we saw each other again. I made a stupid joke when I saw him. In our break we stood together and he made some small remarks like 'enjoy your meal' and 'what's on your plate'. 3 other coworkers joined us and he then took off. After work I decided to text him. I made a joke/remark about our convo about music. And then. He didn't respond and went silent... For 2 days already. What is this? Did I ruin things? Wasn't he interested all along?
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 You should thank your lucky stars he didn't text back. Dating co-workers is a terrible idea. 1
stillafool Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 It seems like he was just being friendly to me. Why were you baffled that he talked to you and thought he didn't like you? He didn't know you so why would you think he didn't like you? I think he was just making a work buddy. If he's that hot he already has someone. 1
smackie9 Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 I agree...why would he avoid you? It was a social situation with coworkers, so the thing to do was to get to know you because well you all work together. it would have been rude/unfriendly of him if he didn't strike up a conversation. Just because he texted you about some music is just friendly coworker buddy stuff. If he's attractive like you say, he is used to women getting the wrong idea when he talks to them. He was just being friendly, and when you started to take it a little further with more texting, he backed off to set a boundary. So him talking to you was just that....being social not a sign of romantic interest. 2
d0nnivain Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 I see no evidence of romantic interest in here. I see a coworker who was being cordial. You had a nice discussion about a common interest. 2
kendahke Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 There was nothing to ruin, except in your imagination. He sounds like he isn't interested in pooping where he eats and was treating you like a coworker. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 You didn't ruin anything, because there was really nothing to ruin. He was being friendly but you evidently misinterpreted his gestures as meaning something more. I wouldn't stress it; it happens. 1
Foxhall Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 the drink seems to be the key factor here, he loosened up with the alcohol but reverted to stiff and awkward default mode back in the normal environment.
Grey40 Posted November 22, 2019 Posted November 22, 2019 You definitely didn't ruin anything. Maybe he's interested, maybe he's not. Not enough here to know. He might find you attractive but decided he's never going to date someone he works with. That's been a policy of mine for years. I'll never pursue or date a woman I'm working with, its just a recipe for disaster.
Author Savannah1990 Posted November 23, 2019 Author Posted November 23, 2019 Thank you all for your reactions. There was actually no alcohol involved. We just sat and talked for a while, and after that he started sending me a text. I feel awkward now. Shall I send him a text to make things less awkward. Something like 'I didn't mean to flirt with you, I just thought our conversation was nice and it seemed fun for me to continue it by texting. Hope you don't feel awkward now'..
balletomane Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 Definitely don't send him that. There's no need to explain anything and you'll only make it more awkward. Just behave like a co-worker - be cordial when you meet, but don't text outside work.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 I feel awkward now. Shall I send him a text to make things less awkward. Something like 'I didn't mean to flirt with you, I just thought our conversation was nice and it seemed fun for me to continue it by texting. Hope you don't feel awkward now'.. Do not send that text. It will only make things feel more awkward. Just leave it be. Be professional when you see him. It was a friendly chat that you unfortunately misread. Not a big deal, it happens, but you don't want to create uncomfortable waves by digging for a response from him. 2
divegrl Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 No more texting!!! Have a beautiful day my friend! 1
smackie9 Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 Savannah, Reaching out won't entourage him to ask you out or give you any answers. People who over analyze and get anxious run it through their head the other person is thinking about you negatively, when in reality they are not even thinking anything, or about you. You are knocking yourself out over nothing. Just carry on like nothing happened. Just let it go 1
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