Leojax Posted November 20, 2019 Posted November 20, 2019 So she sees that I’ve been adding random chicks to my IG. She asked me about it because she said it makes her feel uncomfortable. Long story short I told her they’re girls that come up to me when I’m out and I shut them down but they can still follow my on IG. She freaked the f out. Saying it seems like I’m trying to keep my options open and now she doesn’t completely trust me. Saying I’m still giving them a way to contact me. Wtf? It’s not that serious. I’m not doing anything. I told her if she doesn’t trust me there’s no point in being together. Should I just break up with her?
Interstellar Posted November 20, 2019 Posted November 20, 2019 ^^^^^Good one. I never research a thread starter’s history whenever I reply, and I may have to start doing that now. If your girl tells you to stop doing something because it’s uncomfortable and disrespectful to her then you simply stop doing it. How would you feel if she does the same thing to you. 5
Blind-Sided Posted November 20, 2019 Posted November 20, 2019 OK... I'm a guy... and if you are in a committed relationship with someone... then yes... she is right. Giving contact info (even social media) to random women is wrong. PERIOD ! It's different if it was existing, or even old friends. So to answer the question... yes, break up with her since you don't respect her feelings, and you are obviously looking for attention from other girls. 4
Tamfana Posted November 20, 2019 Posted November 20, 2019 (edited) She's right. You are creating a backup list, which means you're not fully in a relationship with your GF. Yeah, break up with her. Edited November 20, 2019 by Tamfana 2
elaine567 Posted November 20, 2019 Posted November 20, 2019 There is a big difference from not trusting a guy "just because" and not trusting a guy who is acting untrustworthy. YOU are acting untrustworthy. 5
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2019 Posted November 20, 2019 if you are not some kind of social media influencer where you make money based on the # of followers you have, adding random women who contact you is bordering on shifty behavior. Your explanation gives your GF pause; clearly something is going on that all these women come up to talk to you & then these conversations last long enough that you can connect on social media. Your GF thus thinks these encounters are more serious then you do or that at least you are trying to make her jealous by constantly point out that you have options. Even though I generally think social media is BS, your behavior hurts your GFs feelings. So would you like to be in a relationship where your SO continuously did things that you didn't like, even after you asked her to stop because her behavior hurt you? I assume no. So why is it OK for you to treat your GF this cavalierly like her feelings don't matter? It's a choice: her or lots of empty / meaningless followers. 3
Grumpybutfun Posted November 20, 2019 Posted November 20, 2019 Wow, just glanced at your history. Yes, please break up with her. You have tortured her long enough. Incredulously, G 4
dramallama Posted November 20, 2019 Posted November 20, 2019 So she sees that I’ve been adding random chicks to my IG. She asked me about it because she said it makes her feel uncomfortable. One of the things I spotted which made me think the guy I'm seeing was definitely interested in giving 'us' a go was when his following and follower count on IG dropped significantly, because he cleared out the trash. Suddenly no snapchat-filtered ladies liking his posts.... If you're picking up the trash, what's that all about? One foot out of the door, for sure; or desperate insecurity which she'll never feed sufficiently for you. She should break up with you, but if she doesn't, put her out of her misery. 1
smackie9 Posted November 20, 2019 Posted November 20, 2019 Yes breakup with her. you two are at an impasse. You don't see anything wrong, and she does. You are not willing to change, nor will her opinion about your behavior. It's a losing situation. 1
basil67 Posted November 20, 2019 Posted November 20, 2019 She doesn't trust you because your behaviour is untrustworthy. I feel sorry for your girlfriend - I do hope she's discussing this issue with her friends and family. She really needs support in trusting her instincts here. 2
RecentChange Posted November 20, 2019 Posted November 20, 2019 Yes break up with her. Doesn't sound like you care much at all about her, so quit wasting her time.
Inspire Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 Adding tons of random women just says "I like attention" ... It looks shady af and it also says you're not serious about your relationship with her. Trust does have boundaries and appearances do matter. 1
Art.at.Heart Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 So she sees that I’ve been adding random chicks to my IG. She asked me about it because she said it makes her feel uncomfortable. Long story short I told her they’re girls that come up to me when I’m out and I shut them down but they can still follow my on IG. She freaked the f out. Saying it seems like I’m trying to keep my options open and now she doesn’t completely trust me. Saying I’m still giving them a way to contact me. Wtf? It’s not that serious. I’m not doing anything. I told her if she doesn’t trust me there’s no point in being together. Should I just break up with her? Instagram isn't the reason she doesn't trust you. Your actions are. In order for these random girls - girls you've admitted are approaching you while you're out - to start following you on instagram, you have to give them your name. That's not "shutting them down". Not completely, anyway. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 Honestly, given this thread and the other in which you randomly told her you wanted a threesome, it seems you like to make her jealous. You're not going to have a solid relationship until you mature, OP. The problem isn't her. It's you. 3
Mr. Lucky Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 So she sees that I’ve been adding random chicks to my IG. Leojax, trying to understand your endgame. In your mind, what's the purpose of adding "random chicks" on IG? Mr. Lucky
hippychick3 Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 Your girlfriend deserves way better than this. Let her go so she can find someone more deserving. 1
FerDeLance Posted November 21, 2019 Posted November 21, 2019 The thing to do is gain her trust. As already advised, stop doing these things that make her insecure because she is right, these are open doors that you can use anytime. I think just reading these responses will give you enough direction whether to clean up your act or just move on to the next relationship.
fromheart Posted November 22, 2019 Posted November 22, 2019 Yes. Break up with her and avoid the misery to come. She isn't stable.
Pepsi38 Posted November 22, 2019 Posted November 22, 2019 Fromheart - she's not stable because she doesn't like her boyfriend adding random chicks on instagram that he meets on nights out? What would you class as stable in this situation:confused: 1
elaine567 Posted November 22, 2019 Posted November 22, 2019 Fromheart - she's not stable because she doesn't like her boyfriend adding random chicks on instagram that he meets on nights out? and she didn't like this much either... ...Last night i had tequila and called her drunk. I said, “yea if you and I were together right now I’d go up to a woman and ask her for a threesome”. Then I apparently kept saying how I’m a pervert.
normal person Posted November 22, 2019 Posted November 22, 2019 Wtf? It’s not that serious. I’m not doing anything. Why are you doing it, though? Honestly? If it's causing your girlfriend this much stress, what's stopping you from just not doing it anymore to put her at ease? Why do you care more about doing it than your girlfriend's peace of mind?
Redhead14 Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 your girlfriend's peace of mind? Because she's just another piece to him and he doesn't mind hosing her over until she demonstrates that she is an intelligent woman who finally realizes who she's dealing with.
jspice Posted November 24, 2019 Posted November 24, 2019 Yes. Break up with her and avoid the misery to come. She isn't stable. SHE’S not stable? Because she doesn’t want her boyfriend ogling random girls online? Let’s see how you’d react if your partner decided to do the same. OP break up with her to save her from yourself.
morrowrd Posted November 24, 2019 Posted November 24, 2019 Anyone would question you, it is a breach of trust. It's disrespectful to be in a relationship and "friend" on facebook random girls you don't know. If you're feeling like you're missing out, why be in a relationship at all, just keep dating and playing. If someone is your "girlfriend" - it's because you've given her the idea it's just the two of you. If you're going to play the victim here, and accuse her of not trusting you, you're just playing a manipulative immature game with her. Asking us here if you should break up with her is a cop out. Yet, since you're here asking, my advice is to break up with her so she doesn't waste anymore time with you.
GoreSP Posted November 24, 2019 Posted November 24, 2019 I’m with everyone else. You don’t seem trustworthy to begin with.
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