HopefullyLove Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 I hadn’t spoken to a guy I have been “talking” to or “dealing” with for three weeks so I said I’m a rational adult I will reach out to see what’s wrong. We met up the next day to talk and he advised me that he does not “chase women”. We planned an outing for the following week. I noticed that if I don’t call him I don’t hear from him. When I call he always answers or returns my call and he invited me to an impromptu dinner. We went out on our planned outing and his energy seemed different. At the end of the night we hugged and he told me to text him when I get him. I did text him and he didn’t respond. Gees what gives?
basil67 Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 What gives? He doesn't chase women. If you want a guy who's proactive in reaching out, he's not your man. 3
Mrin Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 I hadn’t spoken to a guy I have been “talking” to or “dealing” with for three weeks so I said I’m a rational adult I will reach out to see what’s wrong. We met up the next day to talk and he advised me that he does not “chase women”. We planned an outing for the following week. I noticed that if I don’t call him I don’t hear from him. When I call he always answers or returns my call and he invited me to an impromptu dinner. We went out on our planned outing and his energy seemed different. At the end of the night we hugged and he told me to text him when I get him. I did text him and he didn’t respond. Gees what gives? He doesn't chase women. And doesn't seem like he puts much effort in period. That's what is going on. Kinda silly because most women I know like the dude to do some pursuing. But hey, at least he let you know early. 1
Redhead14 Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 I hadn’t spoken to a guy I have been “talking” to or “dealing” with for three weeks so I said I’m a rational adult I will reach out to see what’s wrong. We met up the next day to talk and he advised me that he does not “chase women”. We planned an outing for the following week. I noticed that if I don’t call him I don’t hear from him. When I call he always answers or returns my call and he invited me to an impromptu dinner. We went out on our planned outing and his energy seemed different. At the end of the night we hugged and he told me to text him when I get him. I did text him and he didn’t respond. Gees what gives? He means he doesn't want to put in any effort and wants the women to chase him. He asked you out for a last minute dinner too? That likely means he will try to keep you for a back burner girl for times when other options are lacking. Don't bother with this one. Keep moving. 2
elaine567 Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 Tell him you don't chase men and block him. If you continue with this he gets a massive ego boost every time you contact him and you get a kick in the teeth every time he chooses to ignore you. Great fun. Next! You need a relationship based on mutual respect and making each other feel good, not one that involves him playing silly hot and cold games. You care he knows you care and he takes pleasure in torturing you... 4
DrNo1962 Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 I hadn’t spoken to a guy I have been “talking” to or “dealing” with for three weeks so I said I’m a rational adult I will reach out to see what’s wrong. We met up the next day to talk and he advised me that he does not “chase women”. We planned an outing for the following week. I noticed that if I don’t call him I don’t hear from him. When I call he always answers or returns my call and he invited me to an impromptu dinner. We went out on our planned outing and his energy seemed different. At the end of the night we hugged and he told me to text him when I get him. I did text him and he didn’t respond. Gees what gives? The guy should be the one to start the engine and initiate the courtship, but after 3-4 weeks of consistent dating, you should be able to reach out to him and he continues to set dates with you. The "talking" / "dealing with" sounds like the two of you have been spending more time on the phone texting or calling than seeing each other face-to-face. From a guy's perspective, I can tell you that if he's not asking you out early on in the conversation then he either has no game or he's just looking for attention. Decisive men don't dither on the phone. 1
BaileyB Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 And now you know... why he is still single. He’s full of himself and he’s playing games with you. A relationship is a partnership. I would not tolerate this kind of behavior for a moment. 3
ajequals Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 If a man like me wants a woman he will chase her through shark infested waters. that's what a gentleman does. this guy sounds like he thinks he's all that and a bag of chips...buy him a little mirror and walk away 4
Mr. Lucky Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 Gees what gives? Wow, must be nice to have someone else do all the heavy lifting. Were you to proceed to an exclusive relationship with him, get ready to be responsible for everything. I’d guess you deserve better... Mr. Lucky 1
Author HopefullyLove Posted November 19, 2019 Author Posted November 19, 2019 Tell him you don't chase men and block him. If you continue with this he gets a massive ego boost every time you contact him and you get a kick in the teeth every time he chooses to ignore you. Great fun. Next! You need a relationship based on mutual respect and making each other feel good, not one that involves him playing silly hot and cold games. You care he knows you care and he takes pleasure in torturing you... Thats so sad that there are people in the world who are ok with treating others like this. Yes I definitely want a relationship based on mutual respect, I don't even get his initial pursuit of me if he doesn't "chase", how can one build a relationship if he is into playing games.
Author HopefullyLove Posted November 19, 2019 Author Posted November 19, 2019 He doesn't chase women. And doesn't seem like he puts much effort in period. That's what is going on. Kinda silly because most women I know like the dude to do some pursuing. But hey, at least he let you know early. Right....he is so strange to me. He was showing interest strongly now he doesn't "chase" lol. Never knew initiating contact was chasing.
Author HopefullyLove Posted November 19, 2019 Author Posted November 19, 2019 Wow, must be nice to have someone else do all the heavy lifting. Were you to proceed to an exclusive relationship with him, get ready to be responsible for everything. I’d guess you deserve better... Mr. Lucky Oh wow that sounds like that would be a horrible situation.
TheFinalWord Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 When you hear things like... "I don't want a relationship right now..." "I don't have time right now" "I don't chase" Always add "you" into those excuses. "I don't chase you" "I don't want a relationship with you" "I don't have time for you" In other words, he's just not that into you. It doesn't mean he doesn't chase women he's into. But if he has nothing else going on, sure he'll go out. Better than sitting home. Women do this to men all the time. They'll flake if a guy they like better comes along. Sorry. Happens to us all! 4
NuevoYorko Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 Calling someone or asking to see them is not "chasing." It's what men do when they're interested in a woman. 2
Author HopefullyLove Posted November 19, 2019 Author Posted November 19, 2019 The guy should be the one to start the engine and initiate the courtship, but after 3-4 weeks of consistent dating, you should be able to reach out to him and he continues to set dates with you. The "talking" / "dealing with" sounds like the two of you have been spending more time on the phone texting or calling than seeing each other face-to-face. From a guy's perspective, I can tell you that if he's not asking you out early on in the conversation then he either has no game or he's just looking for attention. Decisive men don't dither on the phone. No we have seen each other face to face, I just say "dealing with" since it's dating and we don't have a title. We used to work together and I thought well since we work together it was ok that he did not initiate contact, but if I stopped by his desk to talk he would invite me out.
Author HopefullyLove Posted November 19, 2019 Author Posted November 19, 2019 Calling someone or asking to see them is not "chasing." It's what men do when they're interested in a woman. I know...he told me he doesn't chase women, perhaps I should have asked him to clarify but I assume he meant calling/texting because I was asking why I haven't heard from him.
d0nnivain Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 This guy thinks he's "all that" & he can just sit on his hands while women come to him, no effort on his part required. It's a power game. He thinks any effort on his part is chasing. So if you want to constantly have to be the planner, if you want to initiate everything & wait however long he thinks its OK to make you wait while he conditions you to accept crumbs but keep trying hang in there. If you want a partner in a balanced healthy relationship keep looking because this guy is not that partner.
stillafool Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 He's lying. If it's someone he really wants, just like other men, he will chase. 1
stillafool Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 Calling someone or asking to see them is not "chasing." It's what men do when they're interested in a woman. Yes, but if you are always the one calling and always the one asking to see them both genders would consider that chasing. People who are actually interested in you don't consider it chasing. They welcome it. 2
SumGuy Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 Late to the game but it sounds like he has a very low bar for what he considers chasing. Calling someone to ask them out or some contact after you sleep together is not chasing; it’s just basic social interaction. He’s messed in the head, or a d*ck or both. 1
kendahke Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 Gees what gives? If: 1. he advised me that he does not “chase women” and 2. if I don’t call him I don’t hear from him. That means he's not checking for you. He's not going out of his way to initiate anything with you. That's what he means by not chasing women. If you want him, you're going to have to take all the initiative and he'll decide if dealing with you is important enough to him on that day. 3
Author HopefullyLove Posted November 19, 2019 Author Posted November 19, 2019 Late to the game but it sounds like he has a very low bar for what he considers chasing. Calling someone to ask them out or some contact after you sleep together is not chasing; itÂ’s just basic social interaction. HeÂ’s messed in the head, or a d*ck or both. I agree. I feel cared about when a guy IÂ’m seeing takes a little time out his day to call or text. It doesnÂ’t mean we have to talk for hours. Now that I think about it, he told me early on he doesnÂ’t like being on the phone and he is an introvert.
Author HopefullyLove Posted November 19, 2019 Author Posted November 19, 2019 If: and That means he's not checking for you. He's not going out of his way to initiate anything with you. That's what he means by not chasing women. If you want him, you're going to have to take all the initiative and he'll decide if dealing with you is important enough to him on that day. I wouldn’t feel good in a situation like that.
Allupinnit Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 It sounds like dating this guy would be boring AF.
Ami1uwant Posted November 20, 2019 Posted November 20, 2019 If a man like me wants a woman he will chase her through shark infested waters. that's what a gentleman does. this guy sounds like he thinks he's all that and a bag of chips...buy him a little mirror and walk away Chasing lime thst is playing games and I don’t play that.
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