rayj83 Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 (edited) Long story short, my ex and I broke up in the summer. Towards the last month or two, I had some habits she didn't like (would isolate if I was in a bad mood, drink a bit too much, be inattentive) that she didn't like and just felt scared about being with me. I've done a ton of work with professionals help to correct those issues and know what I need to do to not mess this up again. Otherwise we had a really good relationship, strong feelings for each other, great chemistry, etc... We went out for about 8-9 months. I was trying hard to get her back when she dumped me and she said she just was so unsure of what to do - she wanted to be with me but was scared some of these behaviours might return. She said her heart wanted me but her head wasn't sure if she could trust I could change. I went no contact and after a while reached out and she agreed to meet up for drinks. It went well but overall she was pretty cold and distant. Since then she's been warmer, texting more, and we spoke on the phone about our issues and how we can work through them. She even finally joked a bit. I also expressed certain things I wanted her to work on. I just went for it and asked her to come over this weekend to make dinner and she agreed, although still seems a bit hesitant. But I didn't pressure her and she said she would come over. Up until now she wasn't receptive to even meeting. What do you think her intentions are? Some would say obviously if she's coming to your place for dinner, she's serious about reconciling or at least having sex and rekindling a romance. Otherwise may say her hesitation and fear may still hold her back? I know I have to keep the expectations low. Any advice would be welcomed! Edited November 18, 2019 by rayj83
ajequals Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 I think you just need to follow her lead. no pressure ..show her the man she fell for. keep it simple
Legatus Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 Since you dated before, coming to your place may be a natural thing to do for her, not necessarily agreeing to have sex as many "books" would suggest. I second the idea of letting her lead this. After all you want to show her that you've changed, let her see that in you without you jumping to conclusions what her reactions might mean...
d0nnivain Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 Nobody here can read her mind. You have history. She knows she's safe at your place. You are not going to harm her or force her. Whatever it is she wants to talk about she may not want to do that in public. You two talking & her coming over is more positive then anything but nothing is guaranteed. Ask a lot of Qs. Don't presume. Really listen to her answer
schlumpy Posted November 20, 2019 Posted November 20, 2019 There is no way to read this. She did agree to come over but that may just be from her respect for your past relationship. I still read hesitancy on her part and I'm unsure where that is coming from considering the effort you have put in to fixing yourself. She has to realize you did if for her which should put you in a favorable light if she still has feelings for you. Put on the best show you are capable of but please be prepared to accept that this will be closure for her.
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