Not sure if this is in the right place - weird interactions with a guy at work

[Pumpkin789]

Started a new job where I am senior to another guy who also started at the same time but we are the same age. Our shift patterns put us together.

 

I generally find him odd, very quiet, vague communication but he’s competent and he’s like that with other people too. In our initial interactions I found him slightly patronising like he thought he was better than me which I put down to me being female and the same age, but I would still go and check on him and the other juniors, which is something the other seniors don’t do. I’m new and don’t want to miss anything. I’ve never treated him different to the other juniors.

 

Anyway in the last month his behaviour has changed, he’s started to visit me usually bringing another colleague along with him and not really talking, looking at me when he thinks I’m not noticing, I usually end up talking with the other juniors.

 

On my last night shift he was really odd, he came alone, sat down in front of me and not really talking, staring, we had a brief conversation which tapered off, and then sat in silence for a few minutes before someone walked in at which point he got up and walked off without saying bye.

 

Then later in the week at a meeting he was quite rude, huffing as he sat next to me, I couldn’t hear what someone was saying so he very patronisingly repeated it to me. I wanted to collar him ask him what his issue was.

 

Any ideas what this guy’s problem is? Is just a weird shy crush? Or does he hate my guts for some unknown reason?

 

If it helps I’ve been told he has a girlfriend by another colleague after I enquired about his behaviour with others, which apparently is what I noted initially quiet, vague communication but competent.

[spiderowl]

He sounds a bit socially incompetent.

 

He came to see you about something but did not mention it and was then interrupted by someone else.

 

Next time you are with him, you could ask him if he had come to see you about something particular that day.

[mortensorchid]

Does he work in IT? Because I found out the hard way that if you are friendly or nice to the IT staff they start to cling to you. And in a bad way. This was many years before the #metoo crisis as well. IT guys are socially awkward nerds and think that if you are friendly with them you are sending them a signal that you are interested as well.

 

Nowadays it's all business no matter what field you are in. Whatever happens, be polite but not friendly, if that makes sense.

[kendahke]

Any ideas what this guy’s problem is? Is just a weird shy crush? Or does he hate my guts for some unknown reason?

 

This:

Started a new job where I am senior to another guy who also started at the same time

 

You do know that senior position was his birthright, right?

 

He found out that you got the senior position instead of him and he's pissed about it.

 

Next time he's just sitting around at your desk staring, give him work because clearly, he doesn't have enough to do. The company isn't paying him to sit and glare at you because he didn't get the senior position.

[smackie9]

He's got a distorted point of view about things is all. He's trying to figure you out because he has issues trusting women, especially ones in authoritative positions. It's possible he had a bully for a mother, and those emotions creep in. He's watching you closely, and he's showed himself in a manner as to not f with him. I have worked with people like this...the best thing is to not engage them until you really have to, and call them out on it in a professional manner.