Libragirl1210 Posted November 17, 2019 Posted November 17, 2019 Hi all, So i will be seeing my ex for the first time since we broke up back in January in a few weeks time. I’m not 100% over him yet but i know I don’t want him back. The event will be a 9 night xmas cruise that we were originally booked on together which I removed him from after the break up, he went a head and booked himself a room on his own anyway. There will be a few mutual friends on the cruise also so we will 100% be put in situations where we will see one other. I’d like to hear other people’s experiences of coming face to face with their ex for the first time after a long period of not seeing one another. Our break up was messy but we did start kind of talking again several months ago for a couple of months until he found out about something that i did just before we broke up and blocked me again. I am feeling a little nervous about what its going to be like when we come face to face and am not sure how i’m going to react. Tell me your stories
d0nnivain Posted November 17, 2019 Posted November 17, 2019 See him is one thing. . . being stuck on a boat with him for 9 days. . .yikes. I would be so pi$$ed that he re-booked that same cruise. Had I learned about it before final payment, I would have changed my plans & rescheduled a different sailing. Since you are now stuck with him, I would do my best to avoid him. Seriously, I would avoid even the mutual friends in favor of not seeing him. Sit on different decks when you sun by the pool. Use a different dining room. If he's in a bar, leave in favor of another bar. Do whatever you can to avoid him. You just don't need the drama. If you get stuck near him, a tightlipped smile a curt nod of the head is about all I would offer, certain no conversation. 2
Author Libragirl1210 Posted November 17, 2019 Author Posted November 17, 2019 Oh i know 9 nights stuck on the same boat he even booked a room on the same deck as me so i’m hoping his not too close. I’ve known for a while that he was going and considered canceling but i have family members who will be on the cruise also, so cancelling wasn’t really an option. I’ve gone over different scenarios in my head and have decided i will be polite without getting in to conversation with him, but don’t know how seeing him is really going to make me feel. I have also started seeing a professional to help prepare me as much as possible but man the closer it gets the more nervous i feel
d0nnivain Posted November 17, 2019 Posted November 17, 2019 Be annoyed. Then use that anger to fuel you through this. I don't know what cruise line you are on but contact them & see if you can move cabins. Even if you have to pay for an upgrade to be on a different floor may be the best thing. . . now awkward random meetings coming out of your cabin. Most cruise ships are so large you should be able to avoid him. Heck there have been times I had trouble finding the people I wanted to see. Bon Voyage. 1
The Outlaw Posted November 17, 2019 Posted November 17, 2019 That's awkward but you just want to request more room service and slip out with some friends when you feel he may not be around anywhere. You can act as if he isn't even there, but just don't let him ruin it for you.
Lotsgoingon Posted November 17, 2019 Posted November 17, 2019 Who dumped who? If I dumped him, I might be ok with going. If he dumped me, and I'm still not 100 percent over him, I wouldn't go. I'd go so far as to eat the ticket. My thinking: it would take way too much energy to PRETEND things are normal with this person around. I HATE spending energy pretending things are normal. Just me. Good luck. He got tix even after you guys broke up? ... You have to assume he's going to make a move on you. You ready for that? You also want to assume he's going to want to talk and process the relationship again. You up for that?
preraph Posted November 17, 2019 Posted November 17, 2019 Good luck once you two are sauced up not getting into it. This is going to ruin your cruise. I hope you are who broke up with him. I agree with D0nnivain you should try to avoid him AND the friends. I would absolutely call (don't leave a paper trail) each friend and tell them you don't want to be near him and that that will also mean you won't be hanging out with them, BUT if any of them would like to make a "just the two of you" dinner date or some other activity where you won't see him, please do. Tell your family to keep you away from him if he approaches, to just come up and say, "We need to go, we're going to be late" and lead you away. That's what friends are for. 1
Author Libragirl1210 Posted November 17, 2019 Author Posted November 17, 2019 The cruise is on Royal Caribbean. I broke up with him because he didn’t want to make a commitment. Things quickly turned sour after the break up which resulted in blocking and all the usual things that happen when emotions are involved. I loved him deeply and didn’t want to end it but felt like i had no choice. As i said in my original post while I don’t want him back i’m not 100% over him. And yes i was annoyed when i heard he had rebooked the cruise especially after he told me to move on and he wanted nothing to do with me so his actions don’t really make sense. From what i’ve heard his not 100% over it either and brings me up in conversation regularly. To be honest alot of the things he has done don’t make sense to me. I want to enjoy my holiday with no drama so i will be doing my absolute best to avoid him and grin and bear it when i do see him. The whole thing is just a f$$$$$$ up situation. He should never have re booked, if i had done what his done i’m pretty sure I would’ve been branded the crazy ex girlfriend very quickly lol
preraph Posted November 17, 2019 Posted November 17, 2019 Oh, I know he'll try his best to get your attention, whether it's by confronting you or pulling your strings and trying to make you sentimental, or by flirting with other women. You have GOT to try to avoid whatever schedule he's on for meals, etc. If it were me, I might just give that ticket to someone or let my bunkmate have the room to herself if she didn't pitch a fit. How long of a time range do you have for each meal to show up and get fed? I'd either go very late and assume he was going early with other people who will probably rush down there. Or I'd find a way to bring food to my cabin or skip the free food and pay for some other food onboard if there is such a thing. But mainly you have to avoid him during drinking times, which on a cruise, is all the time, though.
Author Libragirl1210 Posted November 17, 2019 Author Posted November 17, 2019 My room mate is my teenage son. As for meals they have anytime dining so I already know what times he likes to have dinner so that won’t be a problem avoiding him then. There will be 1 big group meal with everyone on xmas eve that i’m sure he will be at but I will make sure i’m seated as far away as possible from him on that night. The drinks will most definitely be flowing so things could turn ugly quite quickly that is why i’ve started seeing a professional to help get me in the right frame of mind so that if he does try to push my buttons i can just smile and walk away. I am determined to act like I don’t care ( even though i do) and enjoy my holiday. Every one going is aware of the situation and are all very supportive and in fact think its weird that he is even going. I don’t want to talk about the relationship and all the other crap I really just want to move on with my life, i feel like he is deliberately holding me back even though he doesn’t want me, its really unfair
rjc149 Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 until he found out about something that i did just before we broke up and blocked me again. ...what happened?
Author Libragirl1210 Posted November 18, 2019 Author Posted November 18, 2019 ...what happened? There was a woman that called him every now and then and i’d never heard about her or knew her ( he had a couple of female friends and i knew them all) turns out he met her in Tinder a couple of years ago when we were broken up for a while. In asked him if she knew he had a gf he insisted that she did but i had a feeling he was lying. He never added her to fb and none of our mutual friends knew who she was but she kept calling and it didn’t sit well with me. She was a much older woman and he maintained they were just friends. I saw that he messaged her a few times over fb messenger when he was showing me something so just before I decided to end it I called her because I wanted to know what the go was with that. Anyway turns out they were just friends and she said they met up for dinner every now and then, she also had no idea he had a gf and said she couldn’t understand why he didn’t tell her. Anyway they must still be friends and she told him a couple of months back that i called her all that time ago. So he blocked me because of that but while I know it probably wasn’t the brightest idea i’m glad i did call her otherwise i’d al Be wondering what was going on there.
Silver_star Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 Him still talking to the girl he met off tinder when he was single is off...especially since he kept it from you. Doesnt matter if they never got physical. She obviously was interested or getting SOMETHING out of that exchange. Who goes for dinner every now and then but can't publicly discuss it? I don't buy it as "friendship" when you can't even add them to your facebook or tell your gf about it? It was something he couldn't tell you to your face, so that is shady as hell. Your intuition was right. Good riddance to your ex.
d0nnivain Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 There will be 1 big group meal with everyone on xmas eve that i’m sure he will be at but I will make sure i’m seated as far away as possible from him on that night. Why is he included in this? If it's your family trip just make sure everyone else understands he is not welcome. If they choose to meet him individually without you that is their choice but I think you need to make it clear to the organizers that you would prefer he not attend. Seriously, especially if alcohol is involved, if you see him, you leave. There are plenty of bars on cruise ships. Just go to another on. Better you should seem rude by walking away then cause a scene & possibly get thrown in the brig or put off the ship. 1
nogi Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 The cruise is on Royal Caribbean. I broke up with him because he didn’t want to make a commitment. Things quickly turned sour after the break up which resulted in blocking and all the usual things that happen when emotions are involved. I loved him deeply and didn’t want to end it but felt like i had no choice. As i said in my original post while I don’t want him back i’m not 100% over him. And yes i was annoyed when i heard he had rebooked the cruise especially after he told me to move on and he wanted nothing to do with me so his actions don’t really make sense. From what i’ve heard his not 100% over it either and brings me up in conversation regularly. To be honest alot of the things he has done don’t make sense to me. I want to enjoy my holiday with no drama so i will be doing my absolute best to avoid him and grin and bear it when i do see him. The whole thing is just a f$$$$$$ up situation. He should never have re booked, if i had done what his done i’m pretty sure I would’ve been branded the crazy ex girlfriend very quickly lol I know it is hard to move on (I was dumped myself recently) but you have to prepare yourself mentally for the worst. I had a similar situation 2 years ago where I broke up with a guy who was scared of committing. I didn't get over him but within a year he was engaged. This was crushing to me as it was the second time it happened to me in the last 5 years...I feel like I am the warm up routine for guys to get married. To add insult to injury, in both cases the guy ended up marrying a hot Asian girl (all the guys in California now drool all over themselves at the sight of Asian girls now). I have lots of female Asian friends and I can't help but feel jealous of all the attention they get and how they seem to have guys wrapped around their little fingers immediately. I moved on but just prepare yourself to see him with other women and that he might move on quickly with someone else.
stillafool Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 I noticed this the last time I visited L.A. It does seem that all the young men talk about are hot Asian women. Are there enough to go around?
nogi Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 I noticed this the last time I visited L.A. It does seem that all the young men talk about are hot Asian women. Are there enough to go around? Enough young men (no lol) or hot Asian women? They appear to be everywhere here in Northern California...they are very much the desired mate for eligible men of all races it seems. They have their pick of the men and seem to instantly pussy-whip them in to line after a few dates.
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