butterfly123 Posted October 2, 2005 Posted October 2, 2005 I'll try to brief but it's going to be hard. I started dating almost a year ago a guy I had been friends with for 10 years. We had gone to college together and started dating shortly after I moved to the city where he resides. I was the first girlfriend he had in 7 years. He dated someone for most of college and then afterwards lived a life of a player going from girl to girl, never committing to anyone or anything. Anyway, througout the time we dated we talked on IM for about 4 hours a day and spent most of our time together. He moved into my apartment building to another apartment after 5 months. I thought things were going really well until one night he went to his brothers bach party and I found out a few days later that he had "made out" with two girls....he even called one of them even though she lived on the other coast. (she never called him back). I was devastated and broke up with him for a week but he begged and apologized for his mistake and said he was sorry and asked for another chance. I gave it to him....then a few weeks later, he had his brothers wedding where he didnt bring me to because he was "really stressed about it" and how he didn't want to be more stressed by having a date there who didn't know anyone. I was hurt but I understood. Regardless, since the bach party, our relationship was never the same. I realized over the next several months how much "attention" he needs from females...how much he loves to flirt. One night at my friends birthday party, he started flirting with one of my friends friends and asked her to go to the bathroom with him to have sex. I found out about it and he told me that he was only provoking her and he wasn't serious as I was right there and it would have never have happenned....Then a few weeks later I find out he has been emailing this girl who lives 3 hours away - he says it was just platonic but I know he was flirting with her over email and never mentioned he had a girlfriend.....A few weeks ago, I broke up with him again. It was hard despite what you just read above.... Becuase the time we spent together was always so perfect; so sweet. We had such a great connection; I was completely myseld and we would laugh so much. I would also see him almost every night and we'd talk all day long - but it was like as soon as he stepped outside my door, he was a different person; a jerk. I also found out that he had complained about me to a few people saying that our relationship stressed him more than his job and how we talked too much. It didn't make sense to me because HE was the one always calling and IM'ing me. Anyway, he realized he had a problem and started seeing a therapist. She diagnosed him the week after we broke up with bipolar disorder. It makes so much sense in explaining why he desperately needs to flirt with females to feel good about himself. So, he confided that in me and told me he wants to get better; be normal again and how he can't be in a relationship right now because he needs to focus on himself and geting his life in order. I agree....but he doesn't let me go. He still calls me and Im's me everyday; he'll still come by my apartment to see me and hangout and asks me to do things with him. I have gone to the movies with him and made dinner with him but these things are so hard for me. Last week, I just got caught in the moment and I slept with him too. My emotions are so confused. I really did love him and I feel like I am excusing all his flirting now bc of his mental illness. I am also trying to date again but its hard because I still feel so involved with him even though we aren't technically dating. Last night he had his sister's engagement party and I was hurt he didn't invite me considering I see him all the time...but I know we aren't "dating" and so I shouldn't want or need to go...but I do. I just don't know what to do - how to help him but at the same time help myself to find someone that is going to love and committ to me forever. Please help.
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