georgiagirl76 Posted October 2, 2005 Posted October 2, 2005 I think a wise man said "This Too Shall Pass". Thanks to all of you I am not sad about my ex iming me anymore, nor do I have any desire to contact him. I knew going into this process that I would experience many emotions and that some would be conflicting. I appreciate all of you that have stayed with me during the realm of feelings. It has been a little over 3 weeks and I know I am not out of the woods yet. I am sure I will post again about how sad I am or hurt or angry. But for now- I am at peace. I am very pleased with myself because this breakup has been different for me. I am happy with myself and not sad about being single. Sure, I miss sharing the emotional and physical intimacy with someone but I know that will happen when it is supposed to. He comes home from DC today and I am finishing up my show. I am going to spend the next week attempting to clean this very neglected house. I will be happy next Saturday because it will be the one month mark. I am not going to try to figure out why he imed me or what the point was- He thought of me and contacted me and that was it. If he misses me or wants to talk to me he has to make more of an effort thatn just casting a line and hoping to bait a fish. Moving on- is a decision we all have to make and it doesn't mean that reconciliation can't happen. So many people make the mistake of getting back together with their exs immediately without doing the work or even healing from the break up. I have decided that when you go through a break up you have to heal from that before you start ANY relationship again-that includes one with the ex. I am blessed that my healing process has been successful and I am on the road to a full recovery. Thank you again all of you- you know who you are. Stay strong- one day it will all make sense.
In Sync Posted October 2, 2005 Posted October 2, 2005 That was a nice post. I can relate to your sentiment. I'm at a place of acceptance and its a strange feeling but overall a relief. I admit there are fleeting moments of sadness that stay flutter around, but then I look at where I am and the progress I have made and the accomplishments in my life and realize hey I am going on without him and I'm doing just fine. This site has been a tremendous source of advice and learning from others in how to move away from pain. What a blessing it was to come upon it.
slubberdegullion Posted October 2, 2005 Posted October 2, 2005 ...when you go through a break up you have to heal from that before you start ANY relationship again-that includes one with the ex. There is much wisdom here. Brilliant stuff.
JS17 Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 Hey GG, I'm sooo glad that you're feeling better. I don't want to sound harsh but I feel like you're holding on to the hope of a reconciliation and I wish you wouldn't. You even said yourself that you weren't compatible. I just fear that when he gets a new girlfriend, which he will, you'll have to start this whole process all over again because you haven't truly let go. Regardless, I'm glad that you're feeling good right now. Any time that we feel happy and aren't thinking about it is a blessing.
Author georgiagirl76 Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 JS17 You are never too harsh- I welcome all forms of advice regardless of whether I agree with it. I am not sure when I said that we weren't compatible. The only thing I remember thinking was- maybe he is right and our careers aren't compatible. Yes, that is a big thing- a huge thing- but as far as relating to each other and getting along and actual realtionship issues we are compatible. Up to this point, I was holding on to him. I was waiting for him to return. I will not deny that a part of me couldn't wait until he called or imed or showed up. However, seriously now- I am learning to let go. I want to move on and I am not going to just jump the first sign of his interest in me. Honestly, I never even thought about replying to his im. I know that he will get a girlfriend and I know that I will have a boyfriend. That is the most wonderful thing about this entire experience. For the first time I can see through the pain- it doesn't make the pain any less but it makes me realize that the world is a cycle. I will again find joy and newness in someone. I really don't hold on to him anymore. I am in the process of letting him go. I am almost finished with boxing his stuff up and I have determined that I am not going to send him anything on his birthday in a month. He let go of us and so he has to accept that that means he can't have me when he wants- I accept it but he has to as well. Thanks again.
jomaxfury Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 GG, I am so glad you are doing well. Its been two months for me. After two months my feeling still play with me. One day i could be good and the next day I could be very sad. But I guess is just how our mind, body, and soul heals from unexpected circustances in our lifes. I have come so far this past two months. Everyone tells me they are glad to see me that I am doing good. But deep down inside I am hurting bad. I just want all this pain to go away ASAP. It so hard to understand why people leave loved ones. But I love this verse in the bible Hebrews 13:5. Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content for such things as you have. For he himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" Is cheers me up when I read that. Just wanted share that with LS and you. thanks.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 I think a wise man said "This Too Shall Pass". I'm riiiight here!! I'm glad too that you're feeling better.
francis Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 hey GG, reading your posts is liberating in itself. You are doing a fantastic job. I am still on NC! yay! Your words resound in my head...what you say makes so much sense. He emailed me again this morning with this '...' in the subject line and simply wrote 'are you doing ok?? very busy these days??' I am not replying, I actually have no desire to...I'm freeing this, like letting go of a bunch of helium balloons and watching them float away.
Author georgiagirl76 Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 Thanks to all of you for your support. I am sorry to hear that deep down inside you are still hurting- I would hope that you would be true to those emotions. Don't hide them to your friends or try to fool people. Everyone is different and grief processes longer for some people. If you force it it will take longer. Welcome it, acknowledge it, then it can't sneak up on you. Francis- Good for you- It is a liberating feeling to actually-truly- mean it when you say "I am committed to moving on." I am now at that point. I was feeling guilty about getting there when this week will only be a month- but I cannot abuse myself because of the length of time it takes to heal. I am not contacting him and I am not waiting for him to return. I was- all the time before this weekend but no more. Now the healing can begin and I have already begun to smile about the thought of who may be out there now. I thought I would share something with you that I started thinking when I was a child and often felt alone and unloved. Just remember- all of you- the person you are meant to be with is out there- you may not have met him/her yet. When you are lonely or sad or scared think of him/her and wonder what they are doing. When you finally meet that person and fall in love you can tell them that you have loved them before you met them and that when you were hurting they comforted you. They would be sad to know that the person they love is hurting- they may not be with you in presence but they are with you in spirt. Hang in there- I am sending my concern and strength to all of you so we may make it through another day.
Recommended Posts