fred123 Posted November 14, 2019 Posted November 14, 2019 the girl at the gym who iv helped get law contacts to help her law career is very cold to me yesterday when i was asking about how things were going with her law applications. was asking her if she needed any help etc.
alphamale Posted November 14, 2019 Posted November 14, 2019 why don't you ask her out and see what she does/says
Author fred123 Posted November 14, 2019 Author Posted November 14, 2019 sheis not interested / has a boyfriend. which is fine. but to kinda humiliate in front of everyone when im being friendly and everyone around us can see how cold she is 1
beentheredonethat77 Posted November 14, 2019 Posted November 14, 2019 shes apparently very ungrateful and rude.. be glad she has a boyfriend so you dont waste any more time on her.
preraph Posted November 14, 2019 Posted November 14, 2019 Maybe her boyfriend came to the gym that day, or maybe she got vibes you wanted something more and decided it was time to put up that boundary so that it was unmistakable. Or maybe she was in a terrible mood, like a sick dog or kid or something, or work. Just be polite and nothing more and see how it goes next time. But meanwhile, why worry about it if she's never going to be interested anyway? You helped her. Fine. But she's not interested, so no point in getting invested and letting her get under your skin. 1
smackie9 Posted November 14, 2019 Posted November 14, 2019 Over stayed your welcome. She's was only interested in getting contacts, and had no interest is pursuing any pleasantries with you. Maybe she felt you were getting too personal with her. People are weird.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 14, 2019 Posted November 14, 2019 sheis not interested / has a boyfriend. which is fine. but to kinda humiliate in front of everyone when im being friendly and everyone around us can see how cold she is It sounds like she is trying to get you to stop hitting on her. Don't offer her any more help. And don't try to be friendly with her; she isn't interested in being friends, evidently. 1
h0000 Posted November 14, 2019 Posted November 14, 2019 There is this guy at my gym, who started talking to me one day. I thought he was being friendly. Then he asked personal questions like my name, job, where i live, if im married (wtf). I found it off putting and started avoiding him. But he managed to be there whenever i went and always tried to talk. Eventually told him I had a BF and would not have coffee with him. Then he continued to make small talks and i got plain pissed and just ignored him completely. then I stopped going to that gym. I guess he thinks i was rude and ungrateful because he was "just being friendly and asking how life is going" 2
d0nnivain Posted November 14, 2019 Posted November 14, 2019 As nice & helpful as you have been to this woman you have posted about her before. She had repeatedly told you to back off. You are not listening & keep offering. Hence she's getting meaner. 1
elaine567 Posted November 14, 2019 Posted November 14, 2019 You have invaded her personal space, maybe literally maybe metaphorically, but she is uncomfortable with your approach for some reason. Friends don't act like that, she is not your friend, she does not see you as a friend, you need to stay away from her. Woman with bfs, don't tend to like guys hanging around them asking if they can help. "Help" from guys usually means they want "something" in return and as she is already taken, it is a source of annoyance to her. ALSO She also doesn't want every one to know she tried to "fix the system" by getting your help with her job applications. Inside contacts are part and parcel of the system, but I am sure she would rather people thought she got the job on her own merits. She wanted you to shut up about it in front of her friends. Try to be a bit more discreet. 1
h0000 Posted November 15, 2019 Posted November 15, 2019 As nice & helpful as you have been to this woman you have posted about her before. She had repeatedly told you to back off. You are not listening & keep offering. Hence she's getting meaner. Now that you mentioned..I realise OP has a history of imposing creepy persistence on women that all ended with them being pissed off
fromheart Posted November 15, 2019 Posted November 15, 2019 the girl at the gym who iv helped get law contacts to help her law career is very cold to me yesterday when i was asking about how things were going with her law applications. was asking her if she needed any help etc. The gym is where a man works out to find himself, not waste time with cold women. 1
TheFinalWord Posted November 15, 2019 Posted November 15, 2019 Chicks are weird man. One day they don't want anything to do with you, the next day they'll want to talk your head off. Just shrug it off. You don't really know her so who cares. Do you even want to date a woman that's moody anyway? No thanks. Better to be single. 1
fromheart Posted November 15, 2019 Posted November 15, 2019 When a woman is being cold you walk away, religiously. When she's being warm you reward her with your time. But only invest with a woman who's consistently warm with you, and to others also. Such feminine women are very rare but they are out there.
lurker74 Posted November 15, 2019 Posted November 15, 2019 The issue here is that you are on a dating advice forum asking about a girl's behavior to whom you were only "being friendly." So why are you asking about it on a DATING forum? I don't have to see it happen or get into your head that you have more in mind than just helping a person out, and if I can tell that from thousands of miles or kilometers away, you can believe she can figure it out up close. Maybe it's wrong of her to have accepted your assistance knowing that you had ulterior motives; then again, many of us are guilty of that so it's hard to say. As far as humiliating you in front of others, I agree that was probably uncalled for, assuming you haven't missed her more subtle signs in the past. She could have pulled you aside and explained that nothing would ever happen.
OnlyHonesty Posted November 16, 2019 Posted November 16, 2019 If she was a 90 year old hunch backed lady, would you still be trying to help her? 4
JuneGirl Posted November 16, 2019 Posted November 16, 2019 Most people who go to the gym just go there to work out and not socialize. Also I wasn't there but maybe you gave her a vibe that made her walls go up. 1
Highndry Posted November 16, 2019 Posted November 16, 2019 This one is easy: She doesn't want anything to do with you. Ignore her like she does not exist. If she approaches you, give her the same vibe she gave you, and tell her not to bother you anymore.
The Outlaw Posted November 16, 2019 Posted November 16, 2019 Just leave her alone. If she's cold to you, she isn't worth another moment of your time.
elaine567 Posted November 16, 2019 Posted November 16, 2019 If she was a 90 year old hunch backed lady, would you still be trying to help her? Maybe he would, but I guess for a different reason.
OatsAndHall Posted November 16, 2019 Posted November 16, 2019 I guess I don't see why you're putting any energy at all into her at this point. She has a boyfriend, you've helped her with her contracts and (for whatever reason) she's acting strangely. It certainly doesn't seem worth the effort to keep in touch.
Author fred123 Posted November 18, 2019 Author Posted November 18, 2019 There is this guy at my gym, who started talking to me one day. I thought he was being friendly. Then he asked personal questions like my name, job, where i live, if im married (wtf). I found it off putting and started avoiding him. But he managed to be there whenever i went and always tried to talk. Eventually told him I had a BF and would not have coffee with him. Then he continued to make small talks and i got plain pissed and just ignored him completely. then I stopped going to that gym. I guess he thinks i was rude and ungrateful because he was "just being friendly and asking how life is going" so you were pissed off a guy asked you your name etc etc? i did that in the gym last week to a new girl i met and she was fine. we ended up exchanging numbbers and texting
h0000 Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 so you were pissed off a guy asked you your name etc etc? i did that in the gym last week to a new girl i met and she was fine. we ended up exchanging numbbers and texting I wasn't annoyed when he first talked to me. Like I said I thought he was being friendly. It was the combination of him trying to talk to me every freaking time and asking all these questions that pissed me off. Even though I answered them, I wasnt happy. But I tried to be polite. Too bad he didnt get the hint so I had to be mean. From your history of posts I really think you have problems interpreting people or women's actions. Yes this woman gave you her number, but it may just be because you asked for it and she didnt want to be rude. Maybe she likes you, but also dont be surprised if she doesnt. 1
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