Dealing with Revenge Porn

[Vj.]

I didn't know where else to post this dear admins. I'm losing my mind. Idk what to do. Tell me to move it to another thread if necessary, I will.

 

TLDR

 

Crazy person made a video when having sex with me, and is now sharing links to it form Google Drive account.

 

I contacted the "Google Drive Team". I got "a supervisor" to say in writing (email) that the video is removed from that Google Drive account, and is no longer accessible to the owner of that account (only that account. Not talking about the HDD of the user or any other accounts the user may have uploaded the vid).

 

Now my friend is telling me that in the USA, they may not even be allowed to violate someones privacy, and break into their account, to prevent revenge porn. Since I'm in the EU, the "supervisor" doesn't have to worry about any legal repercussions if she just lied to me to get rid of me.

 

Should I have a lawyer contact the Googles EU headquarters to make sure they are telling the truth?

 

------------------------------

 

Lets call her/him J.

 

After the very first date, J turned out to be a vengeful and angry person. Accused me of giving J STD and blocked me.

 

I was shocked. Let alone giving it to someone, it was the first time someone told me I had STD.

 

When I went to get checked, the Dr couldn't be sure if I gave J STD. He said it's more likely it's Me who got infected by J...

 

Then after few weeks, J send me a link to the vid on Js Google Drive. I was terrified.

 

When I told J that I wanted the video to be completely deleted. J assured me that it was in a "throw away account" and not in Js phone or HDD. (As if that's safer...)

 

I asked it to be removed from Google Drive too. J refused.

 

I was devastated. "Now a crazy person has a deadly weapon against me" I thought.

 

It got worse when I fell madly in love. It's getting even worse bc I'm getting married in a few months...

 

We live in the same city with J. Due to the nature of my job, J may see/hear that I'm getting married, and it's almost guaranteed J will "leak" the vid. And I know that will be the last day of my life.

 

I'm totally losing my mind.

 

I contacted the "Google Drive Team". I wasn't consoled after chatting with an agent. He got the "supervisor".

 

I asked if I could get a statement in writing saying that the video that I had flagged, is no longer available to the owner of that Google Drive account either. (Meaning: not available to J from the same account ofc. Plz don't tell me, as the agents from the Google Drive team did repeatedly, that Google won't be able to delete it from Js HDD or any other account J may have uploaded the vid. My request was the vid to be removed from that account, and that account ONLY.)

 

The supervisor did send me an email stating that the video will no longer be available to the owner of the account either, but, I'm in the Netherlands.

 

My more law savvy friend tell me that the "supervisor" who only uses her first name under the email, is in the USA. I'm in EU. The supervisor can feed me any kind of bs and get away with it since I wont be able take any meaningful legal steps in case the she lied to me just to get rid of me.

 

Is my friend right? What should I do? Please help. My life may fall apart

Edited November 14, 2019 by Vj.
Typo

[Tony T]

This is something you don't want to dilly dally about. Get an agressive attorney to go after this guy and stop his actions immediatly.

[ExpatInItaly]

You need a lawyer, OP.

 

I don't think we'll be able to provide better insight or advice than a professional who is well-versed in the laws on these matters in your country.

 

Just to better understand the chain of events, how long ago did you meet J? Why do you believe he will publicly leak this video?

[ajequals]

I'd call the police ,maybe even the FBI. I believe the law is on your side

[PegNosePete]

I asked if I could get a statement in writing saying that the video that I had flagged, is no longer available to the owner of that Google Drive account either. (Meaning: not available to J from the same account ofc. Plz don't tell me, as the agents from the Google Drive team did repeatedly, that Google won't be able to delete it from Js HDD or any other account J may have uploaded the vid. My request was the vid to be removed from that account, and that account ONLY.)

OK, you know that Google can't delete it from J's HDD.

 

Google confirmed to you that it has been removed from Google Drive.

 

You want to know if Google are lying to you and want a lawyer to get involved? What makes you think an email from Google to a lawyer confirming it's been removed will be any more meaningful than an email from Google to you confirming it's been removed?

 

And what's the point really, spending so much time/money with Google? J could simply upload it somewhere else. Wouldn't the time/money be better spent going after J to get ALL copies of it deleted?

 

I hope you've told your fiance about this! If it goes get leaked then you want to be a united front.

Edited November 14, 2019 by PegNosePete

[SoulCat]

There was an article in one of the Dutch online papers today, de Telegraaf.

It was in relation to parents dealing with this sort of thing happening to their children but in essence it's pretty much the same issue.

 

The article referred to a website, helpwanted.nl, where you can obtain more advice on what steps you can take specifically pertaining to the Netherlands and Dutch law. There's also a link to an online guide on how to gather evidence to aid a possible criminal prosecution.

 

Good luck!

[schlumpy]

I think you should prepare your fiancée for the bad news. It's better he finds out from you then discovers you've been deceiving him. Not a good way to start a life together.

[chillii]

OMFG , so there's a revenge porn now to eh ,whatever that is, do people just make all these terms and labels and bs up everyday, thanks to a keyboard and an audience into infinity, or what.

Sad world. Carry on

[Twizzlestick]

That is very much illegal here in the U.K. not sure where you are in Europe. This article might help you

 

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/revenge-porn-heres-what-to-do-if-someone-posts-your-naked-pictures-online/

[kendahke]

Consult a lawyer in the Netherlands who specializes in cyber crime.

[Vj.]

You need a lawyer, OP.

 

I don't think we'll be able to provide better insight or advice than a professional who is well-versed in the laws on these matters in your country.

 

Just to better understand the chain of events, how long ago did you meet J? Why do you believe he will publicly leak this video?

 

I met J sometime in early 2018. Js last contact with me was when J contacted me to hook up again.

 

I nicely asked the vid to be removed. After which J assured me that it exists only in that "throw away account".

 

The reason why I'm afraid is Js actions right after our date:

Accused me of giving J STD, and blocked me. It came as a shock to me, maybe it scared me more than it should?

 

Since J wanted to be together again last July, J may not have ill intentions against me.

 

I also fear this:

I may no longer be on Js radar, the supervisor from Googles Drive Team may have told the truth (it ain't available to the owner of the account either) and by having an attorny send him an assertive letter, I may kick the hornets nest... what do you think?

[Vj.]

OK, you know that Google can't delete it from J's HDD.

 

Google confirmed to you that it has been removed from Google Drive.

 

You want to know if Google are lying to you and want a lawyer to get involved? What makes you think an email from Google to a lawyer confirming it's been removed will be any more meaningful than an email from Google to you confirming it's been removed?

 

And what's the point really, spending so much time/money with Google? J could simply upload it somewhere else. Wouldn't the time/money be better spent going after J to get ALL copies of it deleted?

 

I hope you've told your fiance about this! If it goes get leaked then you want to be a united front.

 

My fiance may leave me if it gets leaked. She comes from a well respected family. She can't afford it...

[Vj.]

There was an article in one of the Dutch online papers today, de Telegraaf.

It was in relation to parents dealing with this sort of thing happening to their children but in essence it's pretty much the same issue.

 

The article referred to a website, helpwanted.nl, where you can obtain more advice on what steps you can take specifically pertaining to the Netherlands and Dutch law. There's also a link to an online guide on how to gather evidence to aid a possible criminal prosecution.

 

Good luck!

 

Thank you so much!

 

I deleted the email exchanged and the email with the link it bc I panicked.

 

I do have my correspondence with Google and the (now dead) link..

[Vj.]

I think you should prepare your fiancée for the bad news. It's better he finds out from you then discovers you've been deceiving him. Not a good way to start a life together.

 

My fiance came back to me after (emotionally) cheating on me. I had dumped them 2 years ago...

 

Now we've said "we don't care about the past, we only care that we love each other".

 

I think at the moment it seems my only option is to delay the wedding, and see what an attorney says..

[Vj.]

One of my friends is 100% sure he can make J delete it from wherever if he gets his hands on J (ex marine).

 

J had tried to hook up again back in June or July..

 

My friend says send J an email saying "hey let's hook up". says when J shows up, hell appear from another room and that's all he needs to make J do whatever he wants.. Idk folks...

[Mr.Me]

I'd say your screwed.

 

Google is over here in the USA. They can and will remove it from the google drive servers at your request. Also under stand they get thousands and thousands of requests every single minute of every single day so it might take a little while.

 

However...

 

It will never go away once it's become digital. You can delete(kind of) it from the original device, but google has multiple servers for google drive servers and every person who as seen it on a electronic device now has the copy. It's how the internet technology works and computing in general works.

 

Granted, its takes someone pretty saavy to retrieve it, and the likely hood of that is pretty darn slim as there is so much out there now it not worth the time and effort in most cases however ya gotta know, if you going to do that, what the consequences could be.

 

Tell your guy....He needs to know from you. Not from a friend of a friend who got this from some other friend kinda deal.

[Vj.]

She says

"Look, it was almost a year ago. J may have really thought that you gave J STD. Maybe J isn't that angry and vengeful. After all, J contacted you to be with you again after thinking that you gave J STD.

 

J never threatened you; reached out to be with you, you did explain that it would be a problem to you if the vid was leaked.

 

You told the Google Drive Team supervisor that you'd kill yourself if the vid was leaked. And she said in writing that it won't be available to J from that account either. You are not only assuming J is a psychopath, but also the Google supervisor is such a psycho that would risk killing you just to get rid of you.

 

You are in a panic mode. What you need now is for you Dr to give you some calming chemicals."

 

She thinks there's little chance J will see or hear from me again bc J doesn't follow English language media (my job is related to english language media.)

 

She says "I see no reason why you should spend money on an attorney and kick the hornets nest, or ambush J and totally traumatize it"... My friends are arguing as I'm typing this... this is so messed up...

[smackie9]

Guess what, legally it's out of everyone's hands. There is a law that protects social media from being responsible for what people post on the internet. They have teams of people that delete things, but they can't get to everything, and once it's shared there is no stopping it...ie: Pamela Anderson. You can only go after the guy, and that's going to be tough to fight. It will be his word against yours. You are SOL. Basically tho, since you are not famous, your video with be lost in a sea of free porn.

Edited November 14, 2019 by smackie9

[Timshel]

My fiance may leave me if it gets leaked. She comes from a well respected family. She can't afford it...

 

My friend says send J an email saying "hey let's hook up". says when J shows up, hell appear from another room and that's all he needs to make J do whatever he wants.. Idk folks...

 

He will, I presume...so for clarification, you Vj are a male, J is also a male and your fiance is a female.

Is this correct?

[Vj.]

He will, I presume...so for clarification, you Vj are a male, J is also a male and your fiance is a female.

Is this correct?

 

Not planning to give away too much. The very reason I made sure not to mention gender is not to have it be a distraction. (Specially if you are coming from a religious point of view)

 

I'm looking for peoples opinion on if a Google Supervisor would lie and risk someones life... if you can add to that, you are welcome, if not, thank you and have a good day

[Timshel]

This is fine Vj, I do consider your reasons. People around here give really great advice but hands are tied with half truths.

It matters because: Does your fiance know that you are bisexual? Did this porn occur during your relationship with her?

The revenge porn should be handled with an attorney. The marriage, you said you would delay and I agree because I would like for you to trust your fiance more than us and certainly much more than J.

Have a good day yourself.

[Vj.]

I see that some have misunderstood what I'm asking here

 

- I'm not asking if it's possible to remove a video from the internet. I know that's not possible

 

- I'm asking: assuming J really didn't put it anywhere other than that account, do you think (and yes we are all looking into our crystal balls here) would the Google supervisor lie to me and say it is no longer available to the owner of the account either

 

- Shall I distrust what the supervisor said, and still higher an attorney?

 

- Given the fact J never threatened me, and didn't try to contact me again since July, would it be a better idea to let it go and hope J won't all of a sudden decide to put a link in my fb page, tweet it to me, or put it under one of my youtube videos? (After hearing that I got married)

 

- If I decide to have an attorney send a letter to a ridiculous sounding gmail address (like lets.hook.up@gmail...) will I be shooting myself in the leg by kicking the hornets nest while it has been radio silence for months?

[preraph]

Here's the thing. Once it's out on the internet, it's out on the internet. I'm sorry to tell you that. But it gets downloaded to this person and that person's computer and that's that.

 

Google "revenge porn attorneys" and some things come up that might be helpful, but one it is out there, it is out there.

[ExpatInItaly]

He will, I presume...so for clarification, you Vj are a male, J is also a male and your fiance is a female.

Is this correct?

 

This is what I am wondering too.

 

You don't have to disclose anything here you don't wish to, OP, but your current level of distress certainly suggests that you're very worried about a big secret coming to light, should this tape find its way into anyone else's hands.

 

In any case, the mere thought of such a private act being shared is upsetting. I don't see why a random supervisor at Google would lie to you, but if you are doubting it, speak to an attorney. Understand that your fiancee will probably figure out that something is up if she gets wind of the fact that you are dealing with some type of legal issue. She might wonder where money is going if you are paying legal fees, or taking calls from a lawyer, for instance.

 

Assuming that you might not be able to keep this whole matter a secret from her forever, what are you prepared to say if she somehow learns about the existence of this tape? Either indirectly or because J does go ahead and let the cat out of the bag?

[kendahke]

One of my friends is 100% sure he can make J delete it from wherever if he gets his hands on J (ex marine).

 

J had tried to hook up again back in June or July..

 

My friend says send J an email saying "hey let's hook up". says when J shows up, hell appear from another room and that's all he needs to make J do whatever he wants.. Idk folks...

 

 

you think that will work?