hmmhmmm2 Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 she asked me this while at a nice park. I thought she was referring to our labeling the relationship, as it's very early in the relationship (5 dates)...so I asked if that was what she was talking about...she laughed and didn't answer... She texted me later in the night telling me to think about it, saying I hadn't answered...I mean I'm not ready to say I love you yet...we only just started dating.
LivingWaterPlease Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 Just say, "You're a fascinating and gorgeous woman with long dark (or blonde, red) hair that I can't wait to see again!" or "whom I'm finding very intriguing, fun, whatever" Something like that. Or, "You're the woman I think of when I want to have an interesting conversation." You can make it as much or as little as you like. 2
beentheredonethat77 Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 Sounds like shes wanting to know a label, whatever that may be .. girlfriend / friend / or whatever it is. I dont love the question and cringe a little but if shes asking for clarification it may be that shes receiving (or reading) mixed signals of friendship vs girlfriend vibes and wants to know where she stands. I dont thinks hes asking for an 'i love you' etc as she didn't ask how you feel about her in that sense, moreso how you regard her in your life, what category she is in currently (also could be a segue into exclusivity talk if you havn't had it). -- Just my take on it.
healing light Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 Oh yeah, this is totally not an I love you question. She's asking if you're an official couple--boyfriend/girlfriend/exclusive/committed.
lakerman34 Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 This is kind of a weird question to ask, honestly. I wouldn't really know how to answer it. I will say this -- my current partner and I started off as a hookup. Then, I wanted to be exclusive. It took her time to come around to it, but decided that she also wanted to be exclusive. There was a period of time that she was worried that she was just a slam piece for me. She asked me up front. I genuinely hurt to hear her ask that question. People like labels, some people like being called a girl/boy/whatever friend right off the back. I don't know this girl, so I don't know if that's the case. My guess is she either wants reassurance that she isn't just someone you keep around for fun and that you intend to properly have a relationship with. Honestly, I'd respond with, "you are a fun, intelligent, lovely person that I love to be around, and I can see a relationship between us. I would love to be exclusive, if you are looking for that sort of thing." See how she responds. If she smiles dorkily, you're on your way to a relationship!
Billiam Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 "clingy" "insecure" Those are two adjectives that immediately come to mind when someone asks that question after 5 dates. 1
Blind-Sided Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 It's not wrong to ask her to expand on her question. You don't want to answer wrong because she was referring to something other than you were thinking. But, just reading your response to her could be taken in a bunch of different ways. I would have probably rephrased it to "In regards to what aspect?" Assuming it is about her and the relationship... and your potential future... I would use some of the suggestions above. Also I'm not sure where you are at? (intimacy level) AND, I don't know what you actually want. BUT... the angle of "Someone I want to get to know much better" is a good place to start. It indicates that you want to be around, and have hope that things will progress.
elaine567 Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 If this is the same "religious" girl who won't even kiss you yet, she wants to know how serious you are about her. You are flummoxed as you are not that serious and you have kind of been found out. If you can't give her "deep and meaningful", then bow out, as you are not the man for her.
PegNosePete Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 I suspect she wants to make sure you have good intentions, not just looking to use her as a plaything or for sex. It's a really bad way of asking of course, since someone who does just want those things would never admit it. Have to agree with the above poster, it certainly makes her come across as clingy and insecure.
SumGuy Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 she asked me this while at a nice park. I thought she was referring to our labeling the relationship, as it's very early in the relationship (5 dates)...so I asked if that was what she was talking about...she laughed and didn't answer... She texted me later in the night telling me to think about it, saying I hadn't answered...I mean I'm not ready to say I love you yet...we only just started dating. For me there are no wrong answers only honest answers. She may not like an honest answer or you may be answering the wrong question, but as she refuses to clarify the question then so be it. So for me I'd go with it, if she gets upset just a sign of incompatibility to me as if you are going to be vague but get upset if you hear something other than you wanted then you are running a test/playing games and that is BS to me.
SumGuy Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 I suspect she wants to make sure you have good intentions, not just looking to use her as a plaything or for sex. It's a really bad way of asking of course, since someone who does just want those things would never admit it. Have to agree with the above poster, it certainly makes her come across as clingy and insecure. Exactly, and I'm sure game players have a ready answer.
smackie9 Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 Just say she's a nice lady you are trying to get to know.....so far you really enjoy your time together. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 You're best to be honest. As already mentioned, she's looking for a label. If you're not ready to put one on then just let her know you're enjoying your time together and getting to know one another very much. You're excited to see how things unfold...etc. Or perhaps flip the question back to HER and ask what you are to her? Just be prepared for her response especially if she sees you as her boyfriend. If you're ready to commit to label things, you need to let her know this. It comes with risks of course but that's just part of the game.
Tamfana Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 she asked me this while at a nice park. I thought she was referring to our labeling the relationship, as it's very early in the relationship (5 dates)...so I asked if that was what she was talking about...she laughed and didn't answer... She texted me later in the night telling me to think about it, saying I hadn't answered...I mean I'm not ready to say I love you yet...we only just started dating. I don't think you said anything wrong. Not answering is an answer, that you don't want to answer. That might be why she laughed. She may have already gotten the sense that you're ambivalent or holding your cards close to your chest.
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