Hannahhawks87 Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 Hi, We matched on tinder (romantic I know) he was messaged me on tinder, then asked for my phone number. I gave him my number and he was like call me I want to talk to you! I called him and we chatted for ages! We ended up video chatting on the same night and he told me he likes me and can see something developing! Anyway, I didn't hear anything from him for a couple of days, so I messaged him. He messaged me back asking how I am etc. His messages have got extremely flirty and he want to come round to me place! I have said no multiple times as I want to be taken on a date first! He said fine, but I don't see the problem as I'm going to be your boyfriend! He then went onto saying he really likes me, doesn't want a fling. He wants the whole package. He has been texting me abit today, but he asked to come round again and I said no. He's been online, but not seen or responded to my WhatsApp! I am so confused right now!!! Help!!!
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 There is nothing confusing about this guy. He wants easy sex. When you didn't agree to a hookup, he changed his tune to tell you the lies he thought you needed to hear to have sex. Any man who announces he will be your BF is controlling & bad news Stop communicating with this guy. Nothing good will come of this. 3
preraph Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 Tell him you aren't going to go someplace in private with someone you've never even met. just tell him you are more than happy to go out on a public date with him somewhere. He is not wanting to date though.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 He just wants to bang. If he really gave a darn about you, he'd take you out on dates and be respectful. Most men on dating sites are either after a hookup or have very little to offer a woman, so keep that in mind, be prepared to sift through a lot of noise to find a signal. 1
jjbarr19 Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 (edited) Seems like he just wants sex. You already brought up that you'd like to go on an actual date, and he disregarded that and still asked you to come over. Unless you also want to have sex, this is all he's going to provide. Edited November 12, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed 1
HappySenior Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 He could be not only looking for sex but also looking to get into another relationship after a rejection. I could see my recent ex doing this... Because his primary interest in having a woman around is regular sex and companionship, he probably >would< take any semi-attractive woman on just to have the certainty of someone to sleep with. There are men (and people) out there just desperate to have someone/anyone to be with because they cannot stand to be alone. Either way, it's a red flag.
preraph Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 He's also seeing other women and not desperate, which is why he just waited for you to make a move and then offered you nothing but "coming over." 1
spiderowl Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 You don't know this guy. Don't let him come to your place until you know him a lot better. Don't even let him know where your place is. You've got to be careful, he could be anyone. He could have a police record or be an abuser. It sounds like he wants sex - hence he wants to come to your place. Stick to your guns and do not see him unless it is a date. You should not need to push him into a date, just refuse to have him round at your place. If he wants to see you, he will have to come up with another suggestion. Your safety has to be your priority. 1
lavenderandvelvet Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 Anyone who wants you to come over first is looking for sex ASAP. I'll share something that happened to me. Matched with a guy on whatever app. We exchanged a few messages, he was like Him: Let's meet up, come to my place, I have wine and I'll make you dinner. Me: Let's grab dinner or drinks first. Him: OK. We can do that, and maybe I can make you dinner another day. Leading up to the date he starts texting me random check-ins, pics of the food his making. So on and so on. Date happens. We have dinner, go to a bar. It was pretty good. Made out for a bit. Decent chemistry. Find out our schedules are tricky - his off day are Sunday - Monday, and a mid week late start day and I am a 9-5 weekday worker. Coordinating starts going to text for the next date. He starts hinting about me spending the night, taking a day off of work to hang out with him (he was like - I have a hot tub, and proceeds to send a selfie of him heading into the hot tub.) Another day he invites me to his pool party, and says I can come and then he'll make me dinner and I can spend the night. I am starting to think he is only in it for the sex. He peppers me with good morning, how's your day, how's your weekend texts. I drop hints of things to extend the conversation, but it never goes too far. Just more generic stuff. After a few days of this, he asks me about my day and I say something like "oh it is kinda busy I have a lot of meetings at work today." He then replies - you talk too much about work! LOL. And I was like, yeah this is going nowhere. And I did a slow fade. The only things he was inviting me to were things that would culminate in a sleepover. 1
stillafool Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 He wants easy sex. He doesn't want to take you out on a date and spend money on you. He's trying to get it for free from whomever he can anyway he can. Maybe get off Tinder. 1
lakerman34 Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 This man either just wants sex (likely) or is caught in that PUA BS. I would ask to go out on a date one more time, and if he insists you come over to his place, I'd block him. Way too over-eager, and if I were a woman, I'd be nervous going to any man's place without knowing them.
snowboy91 Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 Most likely he just wants sex. Him saying he's going to be your boyfriend without even meeting in person is kind of weird. If you want to go on a date before actually bringing him around, and he refuses while actually expecting to go around, then that's not really respecting your wishes. Even if he was genuine in some way, it's not a good precedent. 1
Versacehottie Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 He's also seeing other women and not desperate, which is why he just waited for you to make a move and then offered you nothing but "coming over." Everyone has had great answers. This is particularly good^^^^. See? He didn't do anything after you guys had your first interaction--he waited to see how desperate you were and for you to make the move to reach out to him. He ignored you saying you wanted to go on a date and is over promising in order to get you to cave. While he probably or might be seeing other women (which doesn't really matter), he exposes his real motives by the way he has handled this with you: he does not have the intention to date, only to hookup. It's all right there between the lines and not that confusing. Don't fall for it. 2
mortensorchid Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 Anyone who wants to meet you RIGHT NOW is looking for sex. And if you say yes and do, don't expect to hear from him again. Fact. How experienced are you with these things? You sound like you are kind of inexperienced with these things. No offense, but everyone has responded the same way about him and I don't want to see anyone take advantage of you or anyone else in a situation like this. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 12, 2019 Posted November 12, 2019 Add me to the others here: He is only looking for sex. His line about him becoming your boyfriend is just that - a line. He hoped you'd give in and let him come over and ultimately sleep with you. Good for you for refusing that. If you're looking for a dating candidate, keep moving. This guy sure ain't it. 2
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